Thursday, April 03, 2008

Tom Cruise Sucks


And no, it's not in the way you think. God, you're all a bunch of sick puppies today!

Last week, the Midget Alien met with former boss Sumner Redstone of Paramont Pictures who fired his creepy ass in 2006. Apparently, the Distroyer of Oprah's Couch realizes his next film, Valkryie is going to suck massive eggs and he wants to get back on board to save what's left of his career. In this film, he's playing the would-be assassin of Adolf Hitler, with a bad California accent to boot. (No, this would-be assassin is not from California. Dude's name is Col. Claus von Stauffenberg so I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and say he's German.)

So this steaming pile is supposed to hit theaters in October. His last film, Lions for Lambs did really shitty, and it must have because I have no clue what the hell its even about. How did I not hear about it? Ah, well.

In case you forgot, Tom Cruise is fucking batshit insane:


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