The Hogans Are Still Inappropriate

First, Brooke Hogan wanted to address the pictures that hit the internet WEEKS ago of her creepy dad putting sun lotion on her ass.

From Us Magazine: "I know I'm a grown woman, but it's like he's touching an old car," the singer tells Us Weekly in its latest issue, on newsstands now. "He used to change my diaper!" she adds."

I don't care what he did with her diapers. (Ew.) She is exactly that: a grown ass woman and that shit is disgusting. Hulk pretty much shot himself into Papa Joe territory for that shit.

Further not helping his perv status, let's move on to the second part of my story.

Brooke posed for some pictures for July's issue of Maxim. Don't ask me why, but I guess she's hot after all that Photoshop and airbrushing, I dunno. According to Pop Tarts, daddy "just had" to come along for the photo shoot to make sure "she didn't show too much skin." What the fuck! Good job! When he follows along with her to Playboy, someone look into that, please. Give him a mental evaluation and lock his orange ass up.

Freaks.

Source and Source

Can You Tell Kanye West is Angry?

I can. You know why? HE USES LOTS OF CAPS AND LOTS OF !!!!!!! And dammit, HE MIGHT BREAK HIS FUCKING MAC BOOK AIR!!!! ITS NOT JUST A MAC BOOK FOLKS, ITS A FUCKING MAC BOOK AIR!!!!! DAMMIT!!!!

Yeah he's pissed people were pissed at him about Bonarroo when he was fucking late and basically acting like the giant ego headcase that he is. Here's his rant on his website:

I am sick of negative people who just sit around trying 2 plot my downfall... Why???? I understand if people don't like me because I like me or if people think tight clothes look gay or people say I run my mouth to much, But this Bonnaroo thing is the worst insult I've ever had in my life. This is the most offended I've ever been... this is the maddest I ever will be. I'm typing so fucking hard I might break my fucking Mac book Air!!!!!!!! Call me any name you want.... arrogant, conceited, narcissistic, racist, metro, fag whatever you can think of.... BUT NEVER SAY I DIDN'T GIVE MY ALL! NEVER SAY I DIDN'T GIVE MY ALL! THIS SHOWS NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO BE GOOD AT SOMETHING THERE WILL BE PEOPLE THERE TO LIE ABOUT YOU AND BRING YOU DOWN! LIKE WAYNE SAYS PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME DOWN CAUSE I'M FLYING! I'M FUCKING HURT BY THIS ONE. ALL I CARE ABOUT ARE THE FANS. JUST SAY THIS OUT LOUD IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE, "KANYE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT GIVING A GOOD PERFORMANCE." CAN ANYONE HONESTLY SAY THAT ????????? HAS ANYONE EVEN TAKEN THE TIME TO AT LEAST DO THE MATH??? BONNAROO SHOULD HAVE RELEASED A STATEMENT IN MY DEFENSE BUT SINCE THEY HAVEN'T LET'S BREAK DOWN THE WALLS ON THIS TRUMAN SHOW AND LET YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY OCCURRED!!! FOR OVER A MONTH WE WENT BACK AND FORTH ON WETHER OR NOT WE COULD EVEN FIT MY STAGE AT THE FESTIVAL. ONE DAY THEY WOULD SAY YES... WE'D SEND THEM OUR SPECS THEN THEY THEY'D SAY OK... THEN THEY WOULD SEND SPECS BACK THAT DIDN'T FIT THE STAGE. WE WERE OBVIOUSLY DEALING WITH FUCKING IDIOTS WHO DIDN'T REALLY HAVE THE CAPACITY TO REALLY PUT ON THIS SHOW PROPERLY. THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS! MY PEOPLE WORKED OUT A COMPROMISED STAGE PLOT AND A 3AM TIME SLOT AND I AGREED. FAST FOWARD TO THE DAY OF THE SHOW. MY PRODUCTION MANAGER TRIED TO LOAD IN FOR 24 HOURS BEFORE I WENT ON STAGE BUT THE FESTIVAL WOULDN'T ALLOW US TO DO ANYTHING UNTILL PEARL JAM LEFT THE STAGE. PEARL JAM ENDED ONE HOUR LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Squid brains?" Ha. Yeah, I actually read most of it. I say "most" because there were several parts where my brain refused to work. It just cannot process Kanye West stupidity. It makes my head hurt.

Anywho, someone get this bitch a tissue and tell him to STFU. Thanks.

Source

Rolling Stone Loved 'The Dark Knight'

Yeah here is my shocked face.

The Dark Knight doesn't hit theaters until July 18th, but Rolling Stone got first crack at it and Peter Travers wrote up a glowing review.

Heads up: a thunderbolt is about to rip into the blanket of bland we call summer movies. The Dark Knight, director Christopher Nolan's absolute stunner of a follow-up to 2005's Batman Begins, is a potent provocation decked out as a comic-book movie. Feverish action? Check. Dazzling spectacle? Check. Devilish fun? Check.
I can only speak superlatives of Ledger, who is mad-crazy-blazing brilliant as the Joker … If there's a movement to get him the first posthumous Oscar since Peter Finch won for 1976's Network, sign me up. Ledger's Joker has no gray areas — he's all rampaging id.
Every actor brings his A game … Michael Caine purrs with sarcastic wit as Bruce's butler … Morgan Freeman radiates tough wisdom as Lucius Fox. Gary Oldman is so skilled that he makes virtue exciting as Jim Gordon … Eckhart earns major props for scarily and movingly portraying the DA's transformation into the dreaded Harvey Two-Face, an event sparked by the brutal murder of a major character.

(See the entire review at my source, but I believe there are a few spoilers at the Rolling Stone link. I didn't want to be spoiled, so I didn't check it out.)

I'm still psyched about this movie. I might actually drag my lazy ass to an actual theater to see it, instead of waiting 'til it comes out on DVD or getting it on Pay-Per-View. Bah! Imagine that! Me getting off my ass! The world might end!

Source

Tim McGraw Kicks Ass - Literally

Some jackass at a Tim McGraw concert decided to punch a woman up in the front row. So Tim stops singing, and literally hauls this fat redneck on stage for security to deal with. Best part? The guy rears back like he's gonna kick Tim's ass before the cops hauled his fat drunk ass offstage. I'm pretty sure if the guy had succeeded, after Tim dealt him a Chuck Norris style ass-kicking, the guy would get bum-rushed by the thousands of other [female] fans in attendence. Because its been a while since I've done the whole "country music" thing, but I think country chicks still have the hot pants for Mr. McGraw. And punching their man is basically a sin.

From his spokeswhores: "While Tim was performing at the White River Amphitheater in Auburn, Washington last night, he watched a man rush to the front of the stage. This overly aggressive fan attacked a female fan and Tim witnessed this incident. Tim called for security, but when they could not respond quick enough Tim and several crew members removed the fan from the audience where he was then turned over to the local authorities."

But it is awesome. I watched it a few times.

Source

Random Acts of Crap

Marilyn Monroe and Judy Garland will probably rise from the dead to bitch-slap New York for tarnishing their memory with her fat tranny ass. - DListed

Nuns love Steven Tyler. I didn't even know nuns were ALLOWED to listen to real music! - The Superficial

More rumors about Madonna and Guy Ritchie's divorce. - IDLYITW

Pete and Ashlee Wentzy got a dog. - Friends or Enemies

Parisite Hilton's boyfriend looks like Boy George. - DListed

Obama denies being "email buddies" to Scarlett Johansen like she claimed. - The Superficial

Mini-Me actor Verne Troyer has a sex tape. There's a clip if you have a strong enough stomach for it, but I'm filing it under "vomit" along with Gene Simmons' tape. - DListed

Lack of Posting Because I am ON FIRE!!!

Don't worry, not really. But in the middle of my daily post, I found out basically one block down and over from me is on fire right now. So I had to go check it out. And it seriously, is ablaze and its pretty bad. So I might post this afternoon if I get time.

In the mean time, enjoy the tasteless picture of the guy throwing a teeny bit of water on a giant fire. I found that on Fail Blog, by the way. The buildings on fire here are mostly vacant, so I don't think anyone got hurt, I hope.

Random Acts of Crap

John Mayer left this hot chick for Jennifer Aniston. Someone get him a mental evaluation, please - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Headway in the custody battle between Britney Spears and KFed. - The Superficial

Rod Stewart licking his wife's nipples. Ew. - IDLYITW

Justin Timberlake has OCD and ADD. I've also heard he's gay, but I don't believe it after seeing him in those boots. - DListed

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt's acting debut with daddy. - I'm Not Obsessed

Michelle Williams is Not Happy

When Heath Ledger died, his family promised to help Michelle Williams care for the daughter that she and Heath had, little Matilda. Turns out they aren't doing any of that.

The family has been fighting like dogs over Heath's estate since his death in January of this year. His uncles wanted his father removed as executor of the estate because he screwed up being executor of his own father's (Heath's grandfather's) estate 15 years ago. The uncles claimed it isn't because they would gain anything finiancially, they just wanted to make sure Heath's daughter was well cared for.

Now Michelle is threatening not to show up for the premiere of The Dark Knight which unless you've been living in a cave for the past six months, you should know was Heath's final film.

According to Page Six: An insider said, "Michelle is furious with Heath's family and threatening to boycott the premiere. Matilda is supposed to be the beneficiary of the will, but Michelle has seen nothing from them. Heath didn't have much in cash, but there was a big house in LA and a back-end deal for 'Dark Knight' [that] could reap millions."

This would be all well and good, except that Heath's will was written in 2003 before he met Michelle Williams and thusly, before Matilda was even born.

I can understand her frusterations, but I'm trying to figure out why not showing up for a movie premiere is gonna get her anywhere. I do think his daughter is entitled to something, I just think there are more effective ways of getting it accomplished.

Source, Source and Source

Don Imus is Still a Bigot

They still let this idiot talk on radio? Who knew?

Anyway, his mouth got him in trouble again. On the morning show yesterday, they were talking about how many times Adam "Pacman" Jones has been arrested. Don asked "What color is he?" His sportscaster told him Jones was African-American and that genious of a douchebag replied with "Well, there you go. Now we know."

Of course now that people are pissed off at him, he's claiming that he didn't mean any biggotry by the comment. Riiight. He's claiming he meant that African-Americans get picked on by police because of the color of their skin. "What people should be outraged about is that they arrest blacks for no reason. I mean, there's no reason to arrest this kid six times."

Suuuure. When are they gonna fire this dipshit and send him to the old folks' home for biggoted old fucks? Seriously!

Source

Amy Winehouse is Not Dying

So she hasn't got emphysema even though that's what her dumbass father was rambling about yesterday. She's got SIGNS of the disease, and if she doesn't quit drugs and ciggs she's going to GET the disease. Whatever. Her dad is still an idiot and here's what he told BBC Radio:

"Amy really hasn't got emphysema, there's traces of emphysema. Obviously, if she doesn't quit smoking, it's going to get worse, like everyone else ... with patience her lungs will recover completely."

According to Mitch, she's not any more predisposed to the diesease than anyone else. Nevermind the fact she does more crack in a day than Whitney Houston did in a year! She's fine. Someone told her to go to rehab, and she said no, no, no.

Fucking idiots.

Source

Random Acts of Crap

Ricki Rockett: "Yaaay! I didn't rape anybody!" How tasteful - The Superficial

Mike Meyers might be gay in Canada - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Somebody attacked Anne Hathaway - IDLYITW

Boy George not allowed in the United States. Well, we don't want him tying up our hookers, dammit! We must think of the safety of our working girls - DListed

How Does Anthony Kiedis Get Away with Driving this Stupid Looking Car?

He's Anthony motherfucking Kiedis, that's why. He was born cool. Nevermind that thing looks like a glorified golf cart for rich people. It doesn't matter. Move along. Nothing to see here.

Source

Linda Hogan is that Special Kind of Stupid You Only Hear About...

So Linda has an order of protection against soon-to-be-ex-husband, the Orange Crusader, Hulk Hogan himself. He shows up at her house. She dials 911, he leaves. What does she do?

Linda: He’s been ordered away because he’s threatened my life before and I don’t want him around I’m shaking, I’m following him until he leaves.
911: Okay, you said he left, or he is leaving?
Linda: Yeah he left, I’m following him right now.
911: Why are you following him?
Linda: I don’t know
911: Stop following him!

That's right, you get in your car and follow him! Nevermind the fact that you claim he's made threats against your life and you're afraid of him. Follow his ass!

Okay to recap here: Queen Nicky is a heartless remorseless pussy who put his "best friend" into a vegetative state. Then daddy, Hulk, not only makes threats at Mom, but says the "best friend" who is in the vegetative state, had it coming because he is a "negative person." Besides the fact that mom is a flaming moron, she is also dating 19-year-olds. No wonder the daughter's show is called Brooke Knows Best. She is a flipping moron, but next to these other dumbasses, she looks like a frigging genious!

Why are people this dumb allowed on television?

Source

C. Love is Looking Shitty Again

Perhaps its the stress over managing to lose Kurt Cobain's ashes has gotten to her, but our little Courtney is looking like the walking dead again. Seriously, she is looking like the damn death scene from The People vs. Larry Flynt.

What I want to know is, where the hell is Frances Bean?? She always seems to be able to knock some sense into her.

Source

Amy Winehouse Needs to Quit Drugs

I know, you're thinking, "Well, DUH!" But this isn't a joke. She doesn't have TB, but emphysema, according to a statement made by her father to The Daily Mail. Mitch Winehouse has said the doctors told his daughter to quit the drugs, cigs, and other shit she does otherwise she'll be in a wheelchair with oxygen within a month.

More from daddy: "The doctors have said that if she had continued the way she was going she could have ended up an invalid - she wouldn't have been able to breathe. With smoking the crack cocaine and the cigarettes her lungs are all gunked up. There are nodules around the chest and dark marks. She's got 70 per cent lung capacity."

Perhaps now he'll see she needs more than to "settle down and have kids" to quit drugs. Seriously, this chick is in a bad way and doesn't need enablers in her life.

He goes on to say that he's spoken to her husband, Blake, who is currently in prison. Blake promised to quit when he gets out for Amy's sake. He's also got a warning for the dealers who sell Amy her shit, as well as her friend Pete Doherty.

"I'm saying to those drug dealers, and they know who they are, if they are supplying crack to Amy, then they've got to take responsibility. I don't want her hanging out with her mates like Pete Doherty either."

Nowhere does it say where he takes responsibility himself for being a fat enabler. Oh well. Hopefully while he's busy spreading the blame, she'll figure out she needs to get healthy on her own. Otherwise I don't see this chick making it to 2009.

Source

Random Acts of Crap

Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi to tie the knot - DListed

Mike Meyers is a pain in the ass - IDLYITW

Who won the Daytime Emmys? If you give a shit go here - DListed

Taco Bell pissed off 50 Cent - A Socialite's Life

Jeremy Piven got shot down. Which is the way it should be - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Katie-Kate Holmes sends Nicole Kidman some baby stuff - The Superficial

Rest in Peace, Mr. Carlin

Taking a serious note this morning to extend my sympathies to the family and friends of George Carlin who passed away yesterday. This man was a legend, and I am truly saddened to hear he is no longer with us. He definately paved the way for a lot of comedians today and was the best part of Dogma and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back.

Above is part of one of his HBO specials. Its my very favorite bit that he's ever done.

Rest in peace, Mr. Carlin. You will be missed!

More Hate for the Orange People

In my continuting attempts to prove the orange Hogans are evil soulless bastards going to hell, I found this video today.

Now, big warning first: its an uncensored video of John Graziano's therapy. If you remember the picture I posted of the gap in his head from the accident caused by Queen Nicky's drunken attempt to prove how cool he is? That picture was apparently fuzzier than I thought because the gap in his head is much bigger and the video nearly made me cry. This boy used to be able-bodied enough to serve in the military. Now his eyes are open, but it doesn't seem like he sees anybody. This video is sad, and if it made my cold heart melt and almost bring me to tears, you know its bad. If you would like to see the video, go to my source.

Now, I have a good idea out of all of this. Someone sit Hulk on his orange leathery ass and make him watch this video. See if the fucker feels any remorse at all for saying John had it coming. Hell, even if he did feel remorse, I probably wouldn't feel any differently about him. These people make me sick.

Source

Amy Winehouse May Have TB

The Sun UK is reporting that Amy Winehouse is being kept in hospital because she's been coughing up blood which can be indicative of tuberculosis. Or just a crackhead. I'm sure that's not good on the body either. Whatever, I'm not a doctor!

The 24-year-old Back to Black star has an irregular heartbeat and has been on a drip while medics try to wean her off hard drugs.Last night a close pal told The Sun:"Amy is in a bad way. Doctors are still struggling to control her heartbeat but the chest condition has been really worrying them."She’d been been suffering horrible coughing fits and hurling up blood for a while but refused to be examined. Doctors now believe it is tuberculosis and are doing more tests to be certain."

We shall see.

Source

Random Acts of Crap

Matthew McConawhatever is falling down drunk. This is my shocked face. IDLYITW

Tila Tequila is actually Asian. First she lied about being bi, now this? What shall we do? Do I give a shit? What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Victoria's Secret thongs might be deadly. DListed

Name the celebrity camel toe. Or vomit, whatever. Cityrag

Two of the Sex and the City hos get secret plastic surgery. Its not a secret anymore. IDLYITW

There's Another Spears Girl on Earth Now. Great.

Jamie-Lynn Spears had her baby this morning. Maddie Briann weighed 6 pounds 10 ounces and magazines are now beating themselves up to get a photo of this offspring.

God I hope this one has a better shot then the other women before her.
Source

Random Acts of Crap

Someone in London has a sense of humor. - DListed

Steve Gutenberg is a friendly guy. - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

50 Cent suing ex for claiming he burnt down her house while she and their son were sleeping. - The Superficial

Amy Winehouse has an irregular heartbeat. Crack will do that to ya. - DListed

Pete Wentzy fancies himself an actor. - In Case You Didn't Know

Random Acts of Crap

Lezzy Lohan takes a page from Katherine Heigl's book. - The Superficial

Kate Moss wears a see-through dress. - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

I hope Benji Madden is infertile. - The Superficial

Katherine Heigl's bullshit may get Isaiah Washington brought back to Grey's Anatomy. - Celebitchy

Diddy is considerate of the women who have to see his balls. Ew. - DListed

Drugs Are Bad!

Yeah ya think? Amy Winehouse is in hospital for passing out and some genious doctor told her: "Quit drugs now — or die." Wow he thought about that one for a long time, didn't he?

Brain scans have been done that show her medical problems all link back to her drug problem. Well double-duh, there. I don't even have a diploma and only have half a brain most of the time, and I coulda told you that.

Nothing like some Captain Obvious shit to get the morning started off right.

Source

Late Random Bits of Crap

Katherine Heigl takes her bitchy ass and ugly boyfriend to Mexico. Too bad she has come back. - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Robbie Williams has hairy man-boobs. If you're into that sort of thing. - DListed

Tila Tequila is eloquent. - The Superficial

Anne Hathaway dumped her man. - IDLYITW

Lezzy Lohan hasn't killed anyone yet. Way to be, Lezzy! - The Superficial

Thank God Someone Has Some Sense!

Page Six is reporting that a popular LA pet shop, The Puppy Store, has refused sale of a puppy to Parisite Hilton. Awesome!

According to the source, she went into the shop to buy a puppy for a photo shoot so "she could look cuter." The store knows about her history of animal cruelty and denied the sale. So according to a witness: "She started screaming, 'I love my puppies! I want my baby!'"



Riiiight. This is the same store that was been investigated for buying inventory from puppy mills so the fact that they wouldn't sell a puppy to Parisite Hilton is amusing as hell to me!

Source

Congrats For Real!!

Yesterday I talked about two women who wanted to become the first legally married lesbian couple in San Fransisco. Apparently, they succeeded.

Congrats and good luck to them!

Source

Hef is Still Married??!?!

Hah, I didn't know that! I thought he'd divorced the wife years ago. But now I read he's still legally married. If he divorced the wife, because of properly laws in Cali he'd be royally fucked. Damn!

Anywho, I'd heard this while reading about how Kendra and Holly, two of Hef's three bitches apparently hate each other, and it's getting to be a pain in the ass to film their reality show, The Girls Next Door, around their arguments.

TMZ spies tell us Hef's number one Bunny Holly Madison is ruling the Mansion with an iron fist ... causing major drama with the staff and on the set of "The Girls Next Door." We're told everyone "hates" Holly, but no one more than Kendra Wilkinson, Hef's other Bunny-in-Waiting.It's gotten so bad, those two can't be in a room for more than five minutes without totally going at it. And that's posing major problems for producers of the show who have to shoot around the flying fur. As for Bridget, she's Switzerland, often trying, but failing, to keep the peace.Our spies also say Holly's ambition is spilling over to the magazine too. She wants to have editorial control over the mag's spreads -- which is not going over well with longtime employees.

Meh. I'm still amused by Hef still being married to the ex. You'd think she'd of gotten her divorce and her 50% a while ago. Ah, well.

Source

Mark Wahlberg is Going to Hell

In his wanderings to promote that new movie The Happening that he stars in, he has commited blasphemy. Nevermind the fact that rumor is this new flick sucks a fat ass, he has the nerve to talk shit on cinematic history: the glory that is the Ocean's 11 movies. Which star George Clooney and Angie's man slave, Brad Pitt.

Anywho, here goes: Is it true you turned down the chance to be in the Ocean's films?
Yeah - and it was well worth it! The second one sucked! People tell George Clooney it's great, but we all know it sucked. I made two bad movies instead - Planet Of The Apes and The Truth About Charlie - but doing that was better than sitting with Brad and George, telling the press how great everybody is! "We were in Europe, George was funny, then we had some wine..." - that's not for me. I do love those guys, but I had to step out on my own.

So, you turned down a chance to be in a GOOD MOVIE that made money, and you justify it by saying you starred in two shitty bombs instead? I'm missing the point on how "that was better." I'd rather watch Ocean's 12 any damn day of the week than Planet of the Apes or that other movie I've never heard of. George and Brad have bigger nuts in their turds than Mark Wahlberg anyways.

P.S. Is it just me or does M. Night Shamalamadingdong look sorta scary in real life???

Source

PETA Hates Chestica Simpson

Yeah who cares. But she wore that dumb shirt and now the animal terrorists are pissed off.

Basically they call her stupid which is amusing, but she's not dumb because of her shirt or because she eats meat, in spite of what they think.

But because I feel like humoring the stupid, here are their reasons:

1. Meat increases the risk of breast cancer.

2. Real girls don't support animal abuse.

3. The meat industry is destroying the Earth.

4. Meat will make you fat.

5. Eating meat steals food from starving kids.

Meh. Anything PETA says I take with a grain of salt since it's run by terrorists. I am not even joking. Actual quote from Ingrid Newkirk, president of PETA:

Six million people died in concentration camps, but six billion broiler chickens will die this year in slaughterhouses. [emphasis added]- The Washington Post (November 13, 1983)

Charming, eh? Here's another:

Our nonviolent tactics are not as effective. We ask nicely for years and get nothing. Someone makes a threat, and it works.- US News & World Report (April 8, 2002)

So yes me calling PETA a terrorist organization isn't far off. The federal government needs to look into them!

No I don't particularly respect Chestica Simpson. But it has nothing to do with a retarded t-shirt. It's because she's a mindless bimbo who blindly does what daddy bids her and sets women back about 80 years in evolution.

Off the soapbox, back to bitching!

Source

Random Acts of Crap

Denise Richards is a lying crazy bitch. - IDLYITW

Billy Ray Cyrus is fucking creepy. - The Superficial

Jennifer Aniston is pretty much a bitch. Not a pretty bitch, but a bitch. - IDLYITW

Tara Reid is still a whore. - Lainey Gossip

Vintage Amy Winehouse: Holy shit she looks like a human being! And she's almost (gasp) PRETTY! Crack is wack, folks. - Seriously OMG

George Michael has lost his mind. - Holy Moly

I Want a Burger King Gold Card!!!

Hugh Laurie was talking to The Times about being famous and shit and revealed something to me that I never knew existed!

“[Being famous means that] you can get a table in a restaurant. But then you've got to go past a line of people who can't get a table - and that's a bad feeling. I've [been given] a Burger King Gold Card."

According to Michael K at DListed, this Gold Card lets you have free burgers for life. My question is, who do I have to beat up to get me one of these things??!?! I deserve it, I'm awesome!

Source

The People at Bonnaroo Rock

Kanye West acted like an asshole, so they called him on it. Pure awesome.

Source

Congrats!!!

Phyllis Lyon, 84 and Del Martin, 87, plan on being the first lesbian couple legally married in San Fransico, CA today. They have been together 55 years, and first walked down the isle in 2004 when the mayor started issuing licenses but it was made null when the supreme court voided them.

When they first got together, they lost their jobs, and risked being arrested and put in electroshock therapy. They also formed a social club for lesbians in 1955.

The picture I used is from 2004 and was seen worldwide.

Congrats to them both!!!

Source

Billy Bob Thornton Has Lost His Damn Mind

At a launch party for his new album (stop laughing), Billy Bob Thornton said something quite amusing regarding his ex, Dame Goddess Angelina Jolie.

He said: "She is just going through a high school phase. You know dating the quarterback of the football team with Brad Pitt over there. She'll be waking up from that dream in no time. Who knows if I'll be there when she's ready to come to her senses though."

I really really hope he was joking. Brad Pitt may be a mindless man slave to Angie and the kids, but most women you ask would rather have sex with him a million times over than even to see Billy Bob without a shirt. The thought made me throw up in my mouth a little. Ew!

Source

More Katherine Heigl Hate

NY Mag posted an open letter to Katherine Heigl which makes my heart sing with glee. Basically they (as well as everyone else) are tired of her shit and say what we're all thinking:

Okay, Heigl, we agree that Izzie’s story lines have become increasingly marginal and unbelievable. Lately, everyone on the show seems to think that Izzie’s completely irritating. So do we! We actually groan aloud when your perky face appears onscreen! There’s a theory we have about this, Katherine, so listen closely. Have you ever thought that maybe the writers are incorporating your own personality into that of your character? Because we read a lot of women’s magazine and gossip sites, and we think we kind of know you at this point. And guess what? You’re totally annoying and self-righteous, just like Izzie ... And then (and then!) you called your own hit movie, Knocked Up, “a little sexist.” You have a right to your opinion, and we might even agree with you. But you were Apatow’s first choice for that movie, you did it, you made lots of money, and it made you a certified movie star. What possessed you to bash it? Do you think you’re above the work that you do? It was a comedy, and you profited tremendously. You’re no Streep, honey, and even she does Abba with a smile ... now we’re going to throw you a bone: We think you’re a talented comedic actress. That’s right, your timing is much better than most, and you have a goofy onscreen persona that combines nicely with your California-girl looks.

I especially enjoy where they basically say the reason Izzie sucks is because Heigl sucks. That warms my could little soul.

Source

Kat Von D Got Her Record Beat by Ex-Hobbit Husband

Oliver Peck, ex-husband to Kat Von D, broke her record for tattoos in a 24-hour period. Last year Kat broke the record and cronicled how she nearly collapsed doing 400 in a day. Well, Peck beat that record at his Dallas, Texas shop by giving 415 in a day.

The Guiness Book of Records was on hand to give him his award after finishing. He did the number 13 on everyone. He told CNN: "It's an adrenaline rush!" Translation: "Suck that, bitch!"

After the exhaustion and drama around her record-breaking day, I don't see Kat doing that shit again.

UPDATE: Apparently there is no animosity on Kat's end, as she posted this on her MySpace blog: As a lot of you know, last December, I set the Guinness World Record for doing the most tattoos in a 24 hour period. My goal was 400, and I didn't even think I was gonna make it to 300 to be honest, but surprisingly, with the help of an entire crew of people, I reached my goal.

Although attaining a world record status wasn't really my goal, I was able to raise enough money through that event and save over 32,000 kids from going blind, since we donated 100% of the money to Vitamin Angels (one of my favorite charity organizations), and for that I am stoked on.

But even before i attempted to set this record, I knew come Friday the 13th, Oliver Peck would break my record.

Oliver, is owner of Elm Street Tattoo, in Dallas, Texas. He is also my ex husband . We were married for 3 years, and unfortunately parted ways about a year ago or so. But that's where the idea to set this world record originally came from. See, back in 1999 (on Friday the 13th), Oliver set out to set the record for that title, and did 320 tattoos in 24 hours, but didn't go through the proper channels to make it official, so come December of last year, I ended up setting that record (after asking Oliver).

But I knew, come the next Friday the 13th, he would definitely break that record. Oliver is the second most determined and driven person I know and when he says he's gonna do something, he does!

So on this past Friday the 13th, Oliver broke my record of doing 400 tattoos in 24 hours, and completed 415 tattoo!

Even though we haven't really spoken after the divorce, I am happy to say how proud I am of him for kicking ass!

And to all those tattooers out there that think it's an easy task, and try and break Oliver's record, enjoy it while it lasts, because I know for a fact, Oliver's gonna continue to hold that title, and wouldn't be surprised if he broke his own record!

Congratulations are in order, and I hope everyone who reads this sends him positive vibes!

I'm so happy for ya', Oliver!

Meh.

Source

Chestica Simpson is a Whore

Well, duh. Apparently Sean William Scott has said the reason he and Nick Lachey do not get along is because he fucked Chestica during the filming of Dukes of Hazzard.

From what he said to some radio show:
DJ Whoo Kid: I heard you had beef with Nick Lachey, man.
Stifler: Oh, 'cause I fucked Jessica Simpson?
[Assorted OH!'s, DAMN's, That is WACK!'s]
Stifler: No, but I did!
DJ Whoo Kid: One rumor out da way!

Since she also allegedly did the herpes-king Johnny Knoxville while filming the same movie, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say she's sort of a whore. How many other dudes did she cheat on Lachey with? These two douches and Adam Levine are on my list so far...

Source

The Hep is Back Together

Tommy Lee has confirmed that Pam Anderson and the kids have moved back in with him.

From Rolling Stone: “Pamela and the kids have moved in with me,” said a beaming Tommy Lee. “It’s awesome, man. It’s definitely working. You can tell on the kids’ faces — they’re happy when we’re together. We’ve only given it a try 800 times — 801, here we go.”

I've said it before, but I hope this time works out because, honestly, these two train wrecks were fucking made for each other.

I hope they keep the sex off camera this time though. Somehow I doubt this time around would be as attractive. (Not that it was in the first place. Ew.)

Source

The Hogans Might Get Their Asses Kicked - Awesome!

I will give this guy a cookie if he kicks any of their orange asses.

AOL released a phone call from Frank Graziano to Hulk Hogan wherein Frank says some not-so-nice things about the Hulkster and his son, Queen Nicky.

You can check out the phone call here. Some radio dudes dicipher it because all the good words are beeped out. Basically he promises a lifetime of hurt and legal shit for Hulk Hogan and the entire soulless family. Which as far as Queen Nicky is concerned, is basically awesome. You can also hear Frank on a radio show in Tampa right here. He calls Queen Nicky "Nicole." Hee!

This makes me smile. Karma is a bitch, and someone give Frank a medal.

Source

R. Kelly Aquitted of All Charges

Why the hell am I shocked? Good fucking God.

From TMZ: A jury has found R. Kelly not guilty! A jury acquitted the singer of all fourteen counts of child pornography. The "Bump and Grind" singer was first charged six years ago after the kinky sex tape surfaced allegedly featuring him having sex -- among other things -- with a girl who was as young as 13 at the time."

"Among other things." Har. Apparently one of the reasons they didn't convict the perv is because there "wasn't enough evidence." Because you know, apparently a VIDEO TAPE of him pissing on a young girl just isn't enough.

Source

And because Dave Chappelle makes me happy (may not be safe for work):

Random Acts of Crap

Snoop Dogg's wife arrested for DUI. - The Superficial

Kanye West is still an asshole. Good to know some things never change! - DListed

Kid Rock is dehydrated. And by "dehydrated" they mean "hungover." - DListed

More proof of Tom Cruise's insanity. - Celebitchy

Mischa Barton's nipples. - IDLYITW

M. Night Shamalamadingdong's new movie sucks and he meant for it to suck. Riiight. - DListed

Random Acts of Crap

Naomi Campbell says she was not drunk. Riiiight. - Hollywood Rag

Charlize Theron loves her boobies. - Egotastic

Mike Meyers is amused by Justin Timberlake's peen. Ew. - Hollywood Rag

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer take their shit public. - DListed

Katherine Heigl and Her Giant Ego

Apparently someone thinks they are the next Julia fucking Roberts so she passed up the opportunity to win another Emmy for her role on Grey's Anatomy. Her reasoning is that the writers for the show suck. Suprisingly enough, you piss off the writers, they piss back.

From Entertainment Weekly: “The show bent over backwards to accommodate her film schedule, and then she criticizes the show for lack of material? It's an ungrateful slap in the face to the very writers responsible for her Emmy win in the first place.”

Apparently the rumor is that her master plan is to piss them all off enough so she gets fired and is free to cash in on movie-making glory. Nevermind the fact that she is NOT Julia Roberts in any regard, and if she gets a reputation for throwing such shit fits then nobody is going to hire her ass.

I agree with Michael K. Fire the bitch and let her see how well she does. I'd give her a year before everyone's like "Katherine who?"

Source

Edward Norton is a Pissy Bitch

I've heard this before that Edward Norton is hell to work with. But apparently he had some spat with Marvel and Universal regarding money. He just finished the Incredible Hulk flick that's come out and is now refusing to do any promotion for it.

According to Fox News: ...Norton fell out with Marvel and Universal and declined to do much publicity. This left the bulk of it to co-star Liv Tyler. Interestingly, Norton is not signed to do the typical two sequels to this "Hulk," although Tyler is and so, I'm told, is director Louis Leterrier. The reason for Norton holding out is likely a money issue....Universal is using Robert Downey Jr.'s surprise appearance in "Hulk" as Tony Stark aka Iron Man in their TV commercials. Downey's presence was supposed to be a big twist at the end...But I guess that Marvel and Universal want to capitalize on "Iron Man"'s huge box office."

Anywho. This fuck is lucky he's talented. The bitchfit currently being thrown by that see-you-next-tuesday Katherine Heigl is pretty much sealing the deal that nobody will work with her ass again. If Norton wasn't a cheesy TV actor, he'd be toast. Although this could hurt him as well. Big-time movie making companies don't like it much when their star refuses to do things that will make them more money. That sorta pisses them off.

Source

Angelina Likes to Keep it Simple

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Dame Goddess Angelina Jolie talks about all kinds of things. I decided to point one quote out. She was asked how she introduces Brad Pitt since they aren't married. Her answer:

"We have that problem all the time. I say ''partner'' sometimes. ''Father of my children'' is too long. But half the time people refer to us as, ''So, your wife this, your husband that.'' We've stopped correcting everybody. It's not a big intentional thing not to marry."

What the hell? Just say "He's my man-slave." We all know this anyways.

Source

Take a Good Look at Dr. Drew - Because This Could be the Last You See of Him Too

No he didn't piss off Madonna. Just the crazy closeted midget and his crazy $cientology buddies.

Playboy interviewed Dr. Drew for next month's issue, and there's a mention of Tommy Boy.

"A lot of people in the public eye who behave strangely have mental illness we can learn from, and much of it is based on childhood trauma, without a doubt. Take a guy like Tom Cruise. Why would somebody be drawn into a cultish kind of environment like Scientology? To me, that's a function of a very deep emptiness and suggests serious neglect in childhood - maybe some abuse, but mostly neglect."

And because he just CAN'T STAND IT when people talk about him in any fashion, he had his lawyer bitch make this statement to Page Six: "This unqualified television performer who is obviously just looking for notoriety is so grotesquely unprofessional as to pretend to diagnose Tom and others without ever meeting them. He seems to be spewing the absurdity that all Scientologists are mentally ill. The last time we heard garbage like this was from Joseph Goebbels."

I hope by "unqualified television performer" he means "board-certified internist and addiction medicine specialist who teaches at USC." Also if I remember correctly, and apparently I do, Tom suffered abuse and bullying as a child, among other issues. So the fact that Dr. Drew was right (as usual) doesn't come into the "statement" at all. Someone's just pissy that a psychologist got it right on the nose!

Source

This is Why Drugs Are Bad

This amazing bit of hair hell is Amy Winehouse, of course. If that shit gets any bigger, rats are gonna start making families in there. As it stands, I do not want to know what the fuck she keeps in there. Probably Pete Doherty. Bitch needed somewhere to hide and they're pals.

Source

Waitaminute....I Can Have a Real Unicorn??

So does that mean I can be Angelina's personal assitant and foot washer now like I wished for yesterday? Woo! LA here I come!

Seriously though, this is a baby deer born in Tuscany with a single horn growing out of his head. Said a scientist type: "This is a demonstration that the fabled unicorn, which we all know from icons and legends, probably was not just a fantasy. It was probably an animal like this one, with a natural anomaly."

God has answered my prayers. I'm to be a slave to the Dame Goddess after all. Its a sign!

Source