Hogans Divorce Getting Nasty

Because these people suck, and I like reminding my 3 readers of this fact, here we go.

Linda Hogan is throwing a bitchfit that Terry is basically refusing to follow judges orders to continue to buy some real estate they were in the middle of buying when the whole divorce thing started. She wants his ass thrown in jail because when the day came to sign the paperwork, he was no where to be found.

"Hulk Hogan left his signature bandanna at home today, because it could clash with the orange jumpsuit a judge may force him to wear.

Hulk and soon-to-be-ex wife Linda were in court in Clearwater, Fla., as Mrs. H. asked hizzoner to hold her estranged hubby in contempt for failing to close on a $4.2 million Vegas condo.

As we first reported, Hulk wants to bail out on the deal — even if it means he loses his $840,000 deposit. Linda says they had an agreement to close on the condo and Hulk had no right to withhold the cash."

Apparently she wants somewhere to party with her toddler boyfriend. Who cares. Except maybe if Terry goes to the slammer they can put him next door to his pussy son Queeny Nick and they can cry like bitches together.

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Hef is Still Married??!?!

Hah, I didn't know that! I thought he'd divorced the wife years ago. But now I read he's still legally married. If he divorced the wife, because of properly laws in Cali he'd be royally fucked. Damn!

Anywho, I'd heard this while reading about how Kendra and Holly, two of Hef's three bitches apparently hate each other, and it's getting to be a pain in the ass to film their reality show, The Girls Next Door, around their arguments.

TMZ spies tell us Hef's number one Bunny Holly Madison is ruling the Mansion with an iron fist ... causing major drama with the staff and on the set of "The Girls Next Door." We're told everyone "hates" Holly, but no one more than Kendra Wilkinson, Hef's other Bunny-in-Waiting.It's gotten so bad, those two can't be in a room for more than five minutes without totally going at it. And that's posing major problems for producers of the show who have to shoot around the flying fur. As for Bridget, she's Switzerland, often trying, but failing, to keep the peace.Our spies also say Holly's ambition is spilling over to the magazine too. She wants to have editorial control over the mag's spreads -- which is not going over well with longtime employees.

Meh. I'm still amused by Hef still being married to the ex. You'd think she'd of gotten her divorce and her 50% a while ago. Ah, well.

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Maddy's Not Screwing Around

So the rumors are making the rounds again that Madonna's getting ready to kick Guy Ritchie to the curb. They've been "growing apart." Blah. He's just boring her and not making her enough money. Supposedly she's hired Paul McCartney's divorce attorney, Nicholas Mostyn QC and went to see him in London ten days ago.

Also according to Holy Moly Maddy and Guy didn't sign a prenup. I'm calling shenanigans on that one. No effing way Madonna would marry any bitch without a prenup. Nobody gets near that cash.

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Mutt Lange is a Dumbass

I guess last week word got out that Shania Twain and husband of 14 years, Mutt Lange, called it quits. According to Lange, "they just grew apart." What he does not mention is how he was fucking the secretary.

According to People: What caused the sudden breakup of Shania Twain and her husband, music producer Robert "Mutt" Lange, after 14 years of marriage?...sources close to the situation say a third party was involved: Marie Ann Thiebaud, a longtime secretary and manager of the couple's chateau in Switzerland. "Mutt and Marie Ann left their spouses for each other and are still in a relationship," says one source...An insider says the "You're Still the One" singer is "devastated. This came out of left field...She loved him."

So the hot picture above? Is Shania Twain. She is still that hot. I want to see the secretary. She must have the voodoo pussy because why the hell else would you cheat on your wife when she looks like this and this aaaand you look like this. He's fucking stupid.

UPDATE: I don't know how true this is, but I heard on the radio this morning that Shania has been celibate for the past year or so. In which case I say, I don't care how hot you are. If you don't have sex with YOUR HUSBAND whom you claim to love, I can see why he went elsewhere for sexy stuffs. Not sayin' it's right, but I can understand. Who the hell goes celibate in a marriage unless they hate who they're married to? I'm just sayin'....

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When Will This Bitch Shut Up??!?!

Sorry there's no picture, but Blogger is being a bastard today. This is my surprised face.

Anyway. Heather Mills has given her first interview since her divorce settlement where she won millions of dollars that were earned probably while she was still in fucking diapers.

So of course she used the time to attack Paul McCartney on GMT in Britian.

Bitch says: "I think he's got three different girlfriends. So I wish all the girls the best of luck. Better them than me."

They'd better hide. Something tells me she's gonna hobble her one leg to their houses and stand outside at night screaming like a banshee.

She also didn't seem to feel too badly about dumping the glass of water on Paul's divorce attorney's head. "Mrs. Shackleton said something under her breath, so I cleansed and baptized her. I thought she looked fantastic – I thought it did her a world of good."

Ugh. Bitch is in Vegas where she's to judge the Miss USA pagent. If any of those chicks do their talent routine to a Beatles song, they're fucked.

Heather Mills Has a Lot of Money

Does that mean we won't have to hear about this shit anymore? Is the damn divorce that actually made Yoko Ono look like a nice person finally over?

Basically, she walked away with about $50 million.

And she had a bunch of crap to say: "I am so, so happy. I’m so glad it’s over, it was an incredible result in the end to secure mine and my daughter’s future and that of all the charities that I obviously plan on helping and making a difference with - because you know it has been my life for 20 years. Obviously the court do not want a litigant in person to do well, it’s against everything that they ever wish, so when they write the judgment up they’re never going to make it look in favour. I am appealing against the publication of the judgement because it has so many private details about me and my daughter."

Paul was much more sweet and to the point: "All will be revealed."

I'm sure it will. And we'll be waiting patiently to find this shit out.

Ugh. I'm So Disappointed.

This is Shanna Moakler. Once, she bitch-slapped Parisite Hilton, and I decided Shanna was pure awesome. However, apparently she is back to her human-herpes creep husband, Travis Barker. Don't know where they are or what they're doing, but I lost a little respect for Shanna. Too bad.

One Less Mess

Finally, KFed and Britney got their divorce settled. He gets a mil and they split custody of the kids 50/50. Yeah, I'll bet he's already got that money spent.

Oh well one less mess to drag out. Now if someone would hit Howard K. Stern with a hammer and get that shit overwith, the world would be right again. I'm tired of hearing about this crap on the news.

Eminem Gets Kim to Shut the Hell Up

Yay! Another famewhore silenced!

The rapper - real name Marshall Mathers - and Kim attended a closed courthearing at Detroit's Macomb Circuit Court yesterday (03.26.07) and agreed tostop making "derogatory, disparaging, inflammatory and otherwise negativecomments".

The agreement was made following a motion filed by Eminem last month toprotect their 11-year-old daughter Hailie.

Basically, neither of them can yap about the other to the media or to Hailie. This will stop Kim calling up random radio stations to talk about how Em can't get it up and how he and his daughter don't get along or whatever. Thank God.