This is Amy Winehouse's Mother-in-Law

And boy she looks like she'd kick some ass. No wonder Amy didn't show up for Blake's sentencing. She was scared of this bitch. I would be too! Damn. She looks scary. She might whoop the crackhive in shape, though, you never know. Her name is Georgettte which is fitting. She also has this "Whatever" look. She must've been expecting bad things because Blake got 27 months on top of what he's already served. She's like "Meh. Back home I go."

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Child Custody Thing Might be Settled for Britney and KFed

In the million-year custody hearing between Britney Spears and ex Kevin Federline, an agreement may have been reached according to OK. Shockingly [not] Brit basically signed the kids over to him.

In an exclusive interview with OK!, Kevin's attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan says both Britney and Kevin reached and signed off on a settlement in their custody case today. Kaplan tells OK!, "At about 8 p.m. PT, a final settlement in the Kevin Federline-Britney Spears custody case was signed. All parties have agreed to the following: Kevin will retain sole legal and physical custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James. Britney will continue to have visitation rights which may increase over time. The agreement will be presented to the court in the morning for approval by the commissioner." Kaplan adds, "Kevin is ecstatic and the boys are thriving."

There was a time when I thought no respectful court would give KFed custody of any living thing, even a damned goldfish. Now he seems to have cleaned up enough to be a responsible parent and Britney is the one to worry about. She's seemed to be doing okay over the last few months though, so I hope it stays that way. Sorry, no snark here. I still think the girl was in a severe bad way and actual mental illness is nothing to laugh at.

Back to snark.

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See? I Was Right. He's Going to Rehab.

Did you know Gary Dourdan was in Aliens: Resurrected? Hey me neither. I was flipping through the cable the other day and thought "Hey! That's Warrick with dreads!"

Anyways. He isn't going to jail, just rehab. Color me shocked.

He plead guity to possession of cocaine and ecstacy and was told he was to complete a drug treatment program then the charges would be dropped. Damn that's light! I need to move to California.

Says Gary's lawyer: "He very much regrets what happened and he's very embarrassed by what occurred, but he's looking forward to moving on and getting back to work. He is very grateful to the court for being understanding and giving him an opportunity to resolve the issue and move forward."

After he gets himself all better he needs to head back over to CSI. Because I don't know how I would survive without the man-loving between Warrick and Nick Stokes. It's gonna suck next season without that or the older-lady-with-botox thing he had going on with Catherine. Hey shut up that show is my crack and I'm addicted like Amy Winehouse any day of the week.

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Jail for Weiland?

Scott Weiland, formerly of Velvet Revolver and more importantly, Stone Temple Pilots had court today. He wasn't there, but his lawyer entered a no contest plea in his DUI from November. The judge sentenced him to 192 hours in jail (LA is so freaking weird) plus he has to pay a $2,000 fine and attend an 18 month alcohol abuse program. According to TMZ he has until May 28th to do the jail time, but it doesn't say anything about the rehab.

The only thing I care about: Will STP still be playing RockFest in Kansas City? Because that is the only GD reason I'm going. Watching Scotty prance around like John Travolting backstage at The Little Mermaid just makes my summer.

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Eminem Gets Kim to Shut the Hell Up

Yay! Another famewhore silenced!

The rapper - real name Marshall Mathers - and Kim attended a closed courthearing at Detroit's Macomb Circuit Court yesterday (03.26.07) and agreed tostop making "derogatory, disparaging, inflammatory and otherwise negativecomments".

The agreement was made following a motion filed by Eminem last month toprotect their 11-year-old daughter Hailie.

Basically, neither of them can yap about the other to the media or to Hailie. This will stop Kim calling up random radio stations to talk about how Em can't get it up and how he and his daughter don't get along or whatever. Thank God.