Random Acts of Crap

Madonna kicks off her new tour with a vain attempt at controversy. The entire world yawns. - DListed

P Diddy gets pulled over, gets gun pulled on him. However, cops with guns were "really respectful." Awesome. - Mollygood

The Olympics are over. Does that mean we can go one day without hearing something about Michael Phelps now? - DListed

Minnie Driver is really really REALLY pregnant in a bikini. - IDLYITW

Michael Lohan challenges KFed to a boxing match. This could be awesome, no matter who wins. - TheSuperficial

Kim Kardashian cuts her toe. - IDLYITW

Child Custody Thing Might be Settled for Britney and KFed

In the million-year custody hearing between Britney Spears and ex Kevin Federline, an agreement may have been reached according to OK. Shockingly [not] Brit basically signed the kids over to him.

In an exclusive interview with OK!, Kevin's attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan says both Britney and Kevin reached and signed off on a settlement in their custody case today. Kaplan tells OK!, "At about 8 p.m. PT, a final settlement in the Kevin Federline-Britney Spears custody case was signed. All parties have agreed to the following: Kevin will retain sole legal and physical custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James. Britney will continue to have visitation rights which may increase over time. The agreement will be presented to the court in the morning for approval by the commissioner." Kaplan adds, "Kevin is ecstatic and the boys are thriving."

There was a time when I thought no respectful court would give KFed custody of any living thing, even a damned goldfish. Now he seems to have cleaned up enough to be a responsible parent and Britney is the one to worry about. She's seemed to be doing okay over the last few months though, so I hope it stays that way. Sorry, no snark here. I still think the girl was in a severe bad way and actual mental illness is nothing to laugh at.

Back to snark.

Source

Random Acts of Crap

John Mayer left this hot chick for Jennifer Aniston. Someone get him a mental evaluation, please - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Headway in the custody battle between Britney Spears and KFed. - The Superficial

Rod Stewart licking his wife's nipples. Ew. - IDLYITW

Justin Timberlake has OCD and ADD. I've also heard he's gay, but I don't believe it after seeing him in those boots. - DListed

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt's acting debut with daddy. - I'm Not Obsessed

Daddy Spears Trying to Bribe KFed

According to Star Magazine, Daddy Spears has been in talks to pay KFed to remarry Britney Spears. Because that worked so well the first time! No, it's because supposedly she's never been as happy as she was when they were married.

According to a source: “His latest offer is $4.5 million in cash and a trust account set up with another $5 million if Kevin moves back in with Britney within a year. If they actually remarry, Jamie will add another $5 million to Kevin’s account.”

However, KFed doesn't like this offer and demands $20 million and to not sign a prenup like he did the first time. Brit Brit doesn't know any of this shit is going on and if she did, I'm sure bitch would be offended. I don't care how nuts you are, this would piss you off.

Source

Random Acts of Crap

KFed named Father of the Year. Seriously. - The Superficial

Lily Allen knows how to party - DListed

Steve-O's been sober 85 days - ICYDK

Christina Aquilera's giant boobies are going nowhere - The Superficial

Its official: Obama gets Democratic nomination - MSNBC

Keepin' the Herpes Contained

Really, if you think about it, these two were made for each other. As long as they don't reproduce, it'd be perfect. Keep the dumb ones together so they don't infect/annoy the rest of us.

Anywho, Queen Parisite of the Herpes and FedEx were at some birthday party and obviously got photographed together. Woo.