Its Pax!

Geez I was starting to wonder if they locked this kid in a basement or something. I don't think we've seen him since they brought him home. He's a cutie though.

Source

Random Acts of Crap

Roseanne Barr has balls of steel. She knows not the power of Maddox and his minons. - DListed

John Mayer talks to the paps about his breakup with Jennifer Aniston. - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Madonna does her 50th birthday, fake husband in tow. - DListed

Ellen DeGeneres and girlfriend Portia De Rossi got married over the weekend. - IDLITW

Random Acts of Crap

Lynne Spears parenting book due out next week. Parents everywhere laugh. - DListed

George Clooney narrowly escapes crazed fat lady. - A Socialite's Life

Everybody wants The Goddess. I coulda told you that. - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Tom Cruise wants "big hands." I don't even want to think about what he'd use them for. - DListed

Jenna Jameson gets naked for PETA. 'Cause you know, not enough people have seen her naked already. - The Superficial

Goddess and the Slave Unveil the Twins

In a giant multi-millon dollar deal, Dame Goddess Angelina Jolie and her slave are on the covers of both People and Hello magazines. The money the mags paid them goes straight to the charity they set up for children around the world.

That being said, why the hell did they put Shiloh on People??? You know Maddox deserved that shit. He runs that house. Meh. He probably gave his permission.

Anywho, I'm not feeling very snarky or creative today. Cute babies.

Source

Random Acts of Crap

Tom Cruise named in lawsuit against $cientology. Somehow I doubt the hobbit is shaking in his panties over this. - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Jamie Lynn Spears is gonna marry her baby-daddy. - The Superficial

Britney Spears is doing the nasty with her bodyguard. - IDLYITW

Dame Goddess Angelina Jolie as Catwoman? Makes sense to me. - WWTDD?

Random Acts of Crap

Dame Goddess Angelina Jolie is in hospital in France. But according to her doctor, the twins are not here yet. Twinwatch continues! - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Ashlee Wentzy's preggo boobies. - The Superficial

Chestica Simpson takes Tony Romo and his parents to Olive Garden. Wow. Way to break the bank. - Celebitchy

Seriously? A Friends movie? Who is gonna go see that crap? - DListed

Is this Michael Lohan's love child? - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Rose McGowan broke up Robert Rodriguez' marriage, and now she's dumping him. - IDLYITW

Ashlee and Pete Wentzy are having a boy. - DListed

Madonna and A-Rod allegedly screwing - he even visited her the same night his wife gave birth. - The Superficial

BUT Madonna and Guy Ritchie totally not getting a divorce. See? They went to dinner AND held hands so they are still sooooo in love. - DListed

Billy Bob Thornton Has Lost His Damn Mind

At a launch party for his new album (stop laughing), Billy Bob Thornton said something quite amusing regarding his ex, Dame Goddess Angelina Jolie.

He said: "She is just going through a high school phase. You know dating the quarterback of the football team with Brad Pitt over there. She'll be waking up from that dream in no time. Who knows if I'll be there when she's ready to come to her senses though."

I really really hope he was joking. Brad Pitt may be a mindless man slave to Angie and the kids, but most women you ask would rather have sex with him a million times over than even to see Billy Bob without a shirt. The thought made me throw up in my mouth a little. Ew!

Source

Angelina Likes to Keep it Simple

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Dame Goddess Angelina Jolie talks about all kinds of things. I decided to point one quote out. She was asked how she introduces Brad Pitt since they aren't married. Her answer:

"We have that problem all the time. I say ''partner'' sometimes. ''Father of my children'' is too long. But half the time people refer to us as, ''So, your wife this, your husband that.'' We've stopped correcting everybody. It's not a big intentional thing not to marry."

What the hell? Just say "He's my man-slave." We all know this anyways.

Source

Waitaminute....I Can Have a Real Unicorn??

So does that mean I can be Angelina's personal assitant and foot washer now like I wished for yesterday? Woo! LA here I come!

Seriously though, this is a baby deer born in Tuscany with a single horn growing out of his head. Said a scientist type: "This is a demonstration that the fabled unicorn, which we all know from icons and legends, probably was not just a fantasy. It was probably an animal like this one, with a natural anomaly."

God has answered my prayers. I'm to be a slave to the Dame Goddess after all. Its a sign!

Source

Happy Birthday Angelina!

Has she popped yet? Seriously, I need to know. She's getting effing huge.

Source

Random Acts of Crap

Frasier had a heart attack! - DListed

While Nick Hogan sits in jail crying, bitching over money like a retarded ingrate, his mother parties it up with 19-year-old boyfriend. World vomits. - The Superficial

Tatum O'Neal likes crack. - The Superficial

Denise Richards: See You Next Tuesday! - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Kat Von D brings some class to Spike TV's "Guys Choice Awards." - Hollywood Rag

Boobs! Angelina and her preggo chi-chis do Vanity Fair - Hollywood Rag

As Usual, Angelina is the Coolest Part of a Movie

What else is new? This picture is from a movie getting ready to come out starring her. It's called Wanted.

There's a bunch of rumors going around regarding whether or not she's still preggo or the twins have come to earth. Considering this is the same woman who denied she was pregnant even though she looked ready to burst forth with child, it's hard telling. I wouldn't be surprised either way.

She's also said she keeps guns in the house and has no problem shooting a bitch coming after her kids. Don't act all shocked. This is the same woman who used to keep knives and drink blood. I'd do crazy things to some asshole who thought he could hurt my kid. It'd be a bad day. Just ask the rat that lived under my house and thought about coming in where my kid lives. He totally thought that green block Husband and I gave him was candy. Ha! He was probably cursing our names while he bled to death internally. Too bad, so sad. I'm higher on the food chain.

Anyways. Angelina what?

Source

Holy Hell!

Angie is flipping huge. How she thought she could keep "not comfirming" her pregnancy I don't know. What did she think we were all dumb? Not everyone is as gullible as the Man-Slave. That is why he is a slave. I worship your ass and all, but even I won't believe you when you say "Oh no I'm not pregnant. I've just gained weight."

Are they sure there's only two babies in there? Maybe she's using her uterus to house homeless children from Africa or some shit.

Yeah this is another picture from Cannes. This is from the premiere of Clint Eastwood's flick Changeling.

Source

The Hell?

So it's now been confirmed that Dame Goddess is indeed pregnant, not just housing a basketball. It's also been confirmed that she's having twins. She still hasn't confirmed the third rumor is that she's having fraternal twin girls. Anyways.

Word is that she and Man-Slave are disagreeing on what to name the twins. She wants to go with Castor and Pollox, the mythical twin boys from the sign Gemini, because that's her sign. Obviously Man-Slave doesn't want one of his girls saddled with a name that rhymes with "bollocks." Makes sense to me.

However, he forgets that he is to do what he is told, so this whole argument is moot. The twins are from now on referred to as Castor and Bollocks and that is final. Apparently she needs to get Maddox to put that bitch in his place because he keeps forgetting.

Source

Everyone's Spilling the Damn Beans

Yesterday Jack Black put himself on the hit list by spilling that Angelina Jolie was not only pregnant, but expecting twins, forcing her to confirm the rumor. Now another co-star to this Kung Fu Panda flick, Dustin Hoffman, has spilled the due date of August 19th. I'm hoping she'll hang onto 'em for another week and birth on my husband's birthday. How cool would that be for him to share a birthday with offspring of the Dame Goddess? Yeah he doesn't care either I don't think.

Anywho. She has stated that they were going to keep the sex of the babies quiet, but we'll see. She's gonna have to threaten the cast of this movie with a freaking Force Choke. Yeah, you know she's one with the Force. She's a Jedi and that's how she got the Man-Slave under her control. That just explains everything.

Congrats to her I guess. More minions for Maddox to control!

Source

Jack Black is About to Die

You see Angelina smiling. What you don't see is her summoning the minions to off Jack Black. He let slip what we all freaking know - which is that she is pregnant. But he confirmed the rumor that she was preggo with twins.

According to The Superficial: Angelina Jolie confirmed today that she is definitely sporting double fetuseses. She had no choice in the matter after Jack Black accidentally spilled the beans then sang a goofy song with his guitar.

Yeah I could've used Us Magazine's quote, but it wasn't as amusing.

Anywho. I hope you enjoyed Jack Black while we had him. He's a dead man now. Look at his face. He knows it. He's trying to figure out how far of a head start he has. He's looking for exits. Run, Jack, run!

Source and Source

Goth Family!

So Queen Angelina brought out the two princesses Zahara and Shiloh and they were definately doing their best all-black goth impression. I'm used to Angie always looking like she's going to an effing funeral or My Chemical Romance concert, but they all look sorta blah, don't they? Oh well it's Angelina so I can't hate that bad. Maybe the Man-Slave ruined all their colors in the wash. Maddox needs to watch his ass a little closer.

Source

Angelina Jolie in Washington...Still Not Pregnant.

So Angelina Jolie was in Washington today to attend the Council on Foreign Relation "Iraq, Education, and Children of Conflict" Forum.

But she's still not pregnant. She's just put on weight. Either that or an Alien is about to come busting out of that bump. Or maybe Maddox. Because that's how he rolls.

Angelina Jolie Has Been a Goddess Since Birth

So I don't know why anybody's surprised she did a hot photo shoot at 16. That's right, you were just drooling over a picture of a 16-year-old, you sicko.

But InTouch Magazine uncovered these photos and a video of her acting sorta dumb. But hey, she's only 16. Her quest for world domination one orphan at a time had not yet begun.

Link in title takes you to my source, IDLYITW.com which has the video and more photos. If you're into that sort of thing. Pervert.

Brangelina are Better than You

People magazine and WWTDD.com are reporting that Dame Goddess Angelina Jolie and her man-slave, Brad Pitt have donated a shitload of money. To be more to the point:

Pitt (gave) $4,402,317, and Jolie $4,123,613, the Huffington Post reports, citing newly released federal tax filings. (These latest figures don't include 2007 – in which, among other charitable efforts, Brad's Make It Right Foundation raised $5 million.)In terms of dispensing their funds, according to records for 2006, the foundation handed out $2,367,935, including $1 million to both Doctors Without Borders (International Division) and to the Global AIDS Alliance.Additional gifts included $137,935 to the Namibia Red Cross Action Program (their daughter Shiloh was born in the African country); $100,000 to the Daniel Pearl Foundation (the late journalist's widow, Marianne Pearl, was played by Jolie in A Mighty Heart); $100,000 to Global Green U.S.A. and to the Epidermolysis Bulloma Medical Research Foundation.In addition, $20,000 went to an art park in Los Angeles, as did separate $5,000 donations to two orphanages that Jolie had visited.

So it's safe to say they are cooler than you and me. Which is obvious. They have Maddox on their side. He just makes you cooler by default.