Gwen Stefani Looks Painful

Seriously I can remember being that pregnant, and the fact that she isn't insane and ripping that dude's face off with her teeth is amazing. Its probably the most uncomfortable thing in the world and you're ready to sell your own mother to slavery to get the kid out. No joke.

Anywho. What?

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There's Another Spears Girl on Earth Now. Great.

Jamie-Lynn Spears had her baby this morning. Maddie Briann weighed 6 pounds 10 ounces and magazines are now beating themselves up to get a photo of this offspring.

God I hope this one has a better shot then the other women before her.
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Random Acts of Crap

Tori Spelling gives birth - The Superficial

The best prom ever. Seriously, why wasn't I invited? - Crunk + Disorderly

Brokeback Mountain the opera? Wow. - DListed

Kevin Spacey's a prissy bitch. - A Socialite's Life

Holy Crap!

This is Lisa Marie Presley and her husband. I knew she was preggo but damn!

She's giving hubby the stinkeye, isn't she? Wonder what he did. Probably hid the cheetos.

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Holy Hell!

Angie is flipping huge. How she thought she could keep "not comfirming" her pregnancy I don't know. What did she think we were all dumb? Not everyone is as gullible as the Man-Slave. That is why he is a slave. I worship your ass and all, but even I won't believe you when you say "Oh no I'm not pregnant. I've just gained weight."

Are they sure there's only two babies in there? Maybe she's using her uterus to house homeless children from Africa or some shit.

Yeah this is another picture from Cannes. This is from the premiere of Clint Eastwood's flick Changeling.

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Everyone's Spilling the Damn Beans

Yesterday Jack Black put himself on the hit list by spilling that Angelina Jolie was not only pregnant, but expecting twins, forcing her to confirm the rumor. Now another co-star to this Kung Fu Panda flick, Dustin Hoffman, has spilled the due date of August 19th. I'm hoping she'll hang onto 'em for another week and birth on my husband's birthday. How cool would that be for him to share a birthday with offspring of the Dame Goddess? Yeah he doesn't care either I don't think.

Anywho. She has stated that they were going to keep the sex of the babies quiet, but we'll see. She's gonna have to threaten the cast of this movie with a freaking Force Choke. Yeah, you know she's one with the Force. She's a Jedi and that's how she got the Man-Slave under her control. That just explains everything.

Congrats to her I guess. More minions for Maddox to control!

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Jack Black is About to Die

You see Angelina smiling. What you don't see is her summoning the minions to off Jack Black. He let slip what we all freaking know - which is that she is pregnant. But he confirmed the rumor that she was preggo with twins.

According to The Superficial: Angelina Jolie confirmed today that she is definitely sporting double fetuseses. She had no choice in the matter after Jack Black accidentally spilled the beans then sang a goofy song with his guitar.

Yeah I could've used Us Magazine's quote, but it wasn't as amusing.

Anywho. I hope you enjoyed Jack Black while we had him. He's a dead man now. Look at his face. He knows it. He's trying to figure out how far of a head start he has. He's looking for exits. Run, Jack, run!

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Angelina Jolie in Washington...Still Not Pregnant.

So Angelina Jolie was in Washington today to attend the Council on Foreign Relation "Iraq, Education, and Children of Conflict" Forum.

But she's still not pregnant. She's just put on weight. Either that or an Alien is about to come busting out of that bump. Or maybe Maddox. Because that's how he rolls.

Twins for Brangelina?

Yes I know this is a tired rumor, but some new bitch has confirmed it. And of course, it isn't Dame Goddess nor the Man Slave, but some other random person.

InTouch magazine is trying to confirm the twins bit. Sarah Bolger who was in that Spiderwick Chronicles movie is claiming she heard that they were gonna let Prince Maddox name one of them, and if one's a girl, he wants to name it Mallory after Sarah's character in the movie because it's one of his favorites.

"Angelina is saying in interviews that if one of the twins is a girl Maddox gets to name her and he has said Mallory because it's his favourite movie at the moment."

Considering Dame Goddess hasn't even confirmed she's preggo even though she's getting all big and obvious, I have no freaking clue where this chick got this information. She should keep her trap shut before Maddox has his minions take care of her. Because you know he has minions.