Someone's Been Hitting the Crack Pipe. Besides Amy.

This other dude in the picture is one of the human beings responsible for Amy Winehouse. Its her dad, and I think he's a crackhead too. Apparently he thinks if Amy got knocked up and had a kid, that would fix everything.

"As for the drugs, she will get bored with them because the desire for children will take over. Amy knows that if she and Blake are going to have kids then she has to be in perfect health. I honestly think that in two years she will be fit, healthy and having babies - motherhood will be her drug."

This shit bugs me. You don't have a kid to "fix" anything. A kid shouldn't have to come into the world with a job to do. And I don't know what planet this dude is on, but I don't see Amy dropping the crack just because the EPT test told her she was knocked up. And I would hate to see a baby that she birthed. It makes me sad thinking about it.

Whatever I'm not worried about it. In two years, she'll either still be a crackhead, or she'll be dead. There's no "healthy and having babies" if he's going to continue ignoring her problem instead of trying to get her help like a normal family would.

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Naomi Campbell is Crazy

Imagine Naomi Campbell pregnant. Bitch would murder somebody in about five minutes. But she is seriously saying she wants a kid. She recently had some sort of surgery that would now allow her to get knocked up and she wants to go for it.

“Now I can have a child I would like one. I’m even willing to have one without a father. I know that I am ready. I know that with a baby I would change, I’d calm down. With a child you cannot accept compromises. You have to give your full self."

Calm down? God it'd take more than a kid to calm this crazy ho down. I pity any child who has to live with her. Hopefully it comes out of the womb with a helmut to dodge flying Blackberry cell phones.

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Am I Too Late?

I've been developing a nice uterus-destroying disease to send over to Parasite Hilton in the form of a chocolate penis. 'Cause you know she couldn't resist biting into a chocolate penis. But I'm not done yet and these pictures have been released, and people are speculating that damn Madden got his jizz to close to her and she's now knocked up.

Shit. Someone call the DFS like now. Of course, perhaps she's not preggo. Maybe she's just bloated. A bitch can hope. I'm not done with my work!

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The Hell?

So it's now been confirmed that Dame Goddess is indeed pregnant, not just housing a basketball. It's also been confirmed that she's having twins. She still hasn't confirmed the third rumor is that she's having fraternal twin girls. Anyways.

Word is that she and Man-Slave are disagreeing on what to name the twins. She wants to go with Castor and Pollox, the mythical twin boys from the sign Gemini, because that's her sign. Obviously Man-Slave doesn't want one of his girls saddled with a name that rhymes with "bollocks." Makes sense to me.

However, he forgets that he is to do what he is told, so this whole argument is moot. The twins are from now on referred to as Castor and Bollocks and that is final. Apparently she needs to get Maddox to put that bitch in his place because he keeps forgetting.

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It's a Nice Day for a White Wedding...

You know it's a slow GD weekend when all there is to talk about is the wedding of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentzy. Yeah, that was a typo but I'm leaving it. It amuses me.

According to OK Magazine: Around noon on Saturday, the groom arrived via limo at the Encinco, Calif., home of Ashlee's dad Joe Simpson, who also officiated over the non-denominational ceremony under white tents.Big sis Jess, who arrived with on-off beau Tony Romo before noon in the Employee of the Month star's Range Rover, was maid of honor. According to reports, Pete's bulldog Hemingway served as ring-bearer.

Poor Tony. Papa Joe must've paid his ass.

Also according to OK: One wedding VIP who definitely won't be boozing it up tonight is the bride, who sources tell OK! finally revealed her pregnancy to everyone at the reception. Weeks ago, OK! was the first to report that the couple were expecting a baby — a story that both Ashlee and Pete danced around on talk shows and in interviews.

Yeah who cares. Pete is in for hell. According to Nick Lachey, Papa Joe is the reason his marriage to Chestica bombed. He also ruined her relationship with Tony Romo. Bet Pete's glad he jumped on this bandwagon.

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They Got the Ol' Pillow Back Out!

Ah rumors are floating around about Katie-Kate wanting to get knocked up again, so the angry midget must've placed another order for another kid to be grown in the $cientology cabbage patch. Until then, we get to see the musical pillow game she played when she was "preggo" with Suri.

Although, she's probably not pregnant. She's probably just bloated from all that barley water. If she really was "preggo" he'd be gloating all over town, sucking up the publicity

This picture is from them watching Tom's man-crush, David Beckham, playing soccer.

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Model Father.

Pete Wentz is the freaking model for father of the year, right? Ugh.

Asslee Simpson was on Ellen Degeneres' show and once again danced around the preggo question, but still managed to be vague enough so she can keep cashing in on this rumor as much as possible.

According to People, Asslee says: "Well, that has been going on for quite a while. That is something that I choose personally not to discuss. Do I look like I had 10 cheeseburgers or something? Because I don't think I do."

Dumb bitch, shut up.

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Another Knocked Up Ho

Over the last week or so, rumors have been floating around that Ashlee Simpson is knocked up. Her fiance, Pete Wentz pitched a faux-emo fit saying in part: “There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood...."

Then Ashlee went on MTV and bascially tap-danced around the question. But according to People magazine:

Ashlee Simpson is pregnant and plans to get married next month at a private residence in Southern California, a source close to her family tells PEOPLE.Simpson, 23, is engaged to Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz, 28, who initially blasted pregnancy rumors as a "witch hunt."But on Tuesday, Simpson, sidestepped the rumors during an interview with MTV after taping TRL in New York, saying simply, "Some things you want to keep personal."And now the source tells PEOPLE that not only is Simpson pregnant, but that she's planning to have her wedding in May at a friend's house in La Jolla, Calif., north of San Diego.

BUT a very reliable un-named source who reports to WWTDD.com states that they know for certain that Ashlee is VERY definately knocked up.

However I ask you: do you give a shit? Because I sure don't. Next!