Showing posts with label Amy Winehouse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Amy Winehouse. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Where'd the Beehive Go??


Yes I know its been a while for me. I have this little magic thing called "a job" that I must attend to so I can feed myself and my kid. Somewhere KFed is like "What the fuck is she talking about?" Sorry dude, I can't just marry rich and live off my divorce. Some people have to earn a living!

Anywho, on with the show. It appears Amy Winehouse has finally abused her hair enough that its skipped town and joined witness protection. I also have to admit though, the new 'do isn't bad. Definately an improvement.

Source

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Random Acts of Crap


Jenna Jameson confirms she's having twins on her MySpace blog. Of course she's having twins. I'm just surprised its only two babies. God knows that vagina could fit a whole herd a kids up there. She could outdo Brangelina with one sneeze. - IDLYITW

David Blaine is still full of shit. - MollyGood

Amy Winehouse's husband would rather stay in jail than stay at his mother's or go to rehab. Color me shocked. - DListed

Breastfeeding pictures might be out somewhere of Jamie Lynn Spears feeding her baby. Because she's underage, this might get some Walmart employees in very deep poop. - IDLYITW

Dane Cook is appealing his eviction from his apartment because he has a right to live there. Why, you ask? Because the building that he lives in, John Belushi and Steve Martin once lived there. Don't ask me how this makes sense legally, but I'm sure he'll make it work. - DListed

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

A Match Made in Crack Heaven


Now I see why Amy Winehouse married Blake Fielder-Civil. He's just sooooooo charming.

Ugh. I'm off to scrub my eyeballs with a Brillo pad and Comet.

Source

Monday, September 15, 2008

Random Acts of Crap


George Takai (Mr. Sulu of Star Trek) and his partner of 21 years tie the knot. Congrats, guys! - The Superficial

Ashton Kutcher is a high school football coach. For some reason, this amuses me. - Socialite Life

Britney Spears' new album to be released December 2nd. - DListed

Jennifer Lopez competed in a triatholon. Everyone pay attention to her for a minute so she'll shut the eff up. - IDLYITW

Amy Winehouse is a no-show for her own birthday party. Her reason: she's too ugly to go out. She's just NOW noticing that she looks like a train wreck from hell??? - DListed

Friday, September 05, 2008

Random Acts of Crap


Photoshop meets Sarah Palin. Too bad, too. That'd be awesome. - The Superficial

Katherine Heigl frightens innocent puppies. Its true. - IDLYITW

Amy Winehouse requires 48 bottles of Jack Daniels to perform in a concert. That's just an appetizer. - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Lilly Allen explains her "feud" with Queen Elton. I still say he wins. - DListed

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Just a Recap


In case you forgot, Amy Winehouse defines the term "one hot mess." Here's a rundown!

She canceled a concert just hours before she was due onstage. Amy Winehouse is facing legal action after she pulled out of a concert in Paris just two hours before she was due to headline it. A statement posted on the festival website said organisers had decided to start legal proceedings against her because of the circumstances of her cancellation. “We have still not been given any explanation of the exact reasons for her absence.”

In the past year, she has OD'd twice. The singer, 24, suffered two major overdoses, with such bad convulsions that they were “like a scene from The Exorcist”. And her body is so frail from drug use that doctors were scared she would break bones during a fit.

And let's not forget, she may have brain damage.

Seriously, how much can one human body take? Or is that it? Is she not human? Because that's the only reason I can think of as to why she's not dead yet. Seriously, this zombie and Courtney Love must both be fucking aliens or something. Nobody can ingest this much heroin and still move among the living.

Source

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Random Acts of Crap


Chestica Simpson wants to sell you beer. - The Superficial

Lezzy Lohan sideboob. - IDLYITW

Lilly Allen is punching people. - What Would Tylder Durden Do?

Gwen Stefani is in the hospital for a scheduled C-Section today. FINALLY. I wondered if they were gonna wait until the kid was in middle school or something. - DListed

Amy Winehouse is NOT going to rehab. Because that is a good idea. - Celebitchy

Friday, August 15, 2008

Random Acts of Crap


Amy Winehouse is back, and slapping random people again. Nice to know she hasn't changed. - What Would Tylder Durden Do?

DMX arrested for the 479th time. - The Superficial

Lezzy Lohan may not be lezzy anymore. Damn. That was fun. - WWTDD

Donald Trump is Ed Mahon's hero. - DListed

No more parties at Playboy Mansion. Holly must have something to do with this. - WWTDD

Jamie Lynn Spears' boyfriend/babydaddy says he never cheated. - The Superficial

Monday, August 04, 2008

Random Acts of Crap


Madonna still looks like a zombie. - DListed

Lezzy Lohan's lezziness is why the paps are easier to deal with, according to this LAPD Cheif. - IDLYITW

Still more hacked cameraphone pictures of Miley Cyrus trying to be a whore. Did you click the link? Perv. - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Kate Hudson back with ex-husband. - The Superficial
Both Amy Winehouse's parents are complete fucking idiots. - WWTDD

Monday, July 28, 2008

"Amy is Doing Fine."


And by "fine," Mitch Winehouse means "completely stoned all the fucking time." What a moron. It looks like her face is rotting off. When is someone with a brain gonna step in and do something before Amy Winehouse fucking kills herself??? This shit is not funny anymore. She's killing herself in front of the entire world and all her FATHER can say is that she "is doing fine." IDIOT!

Source

Friday, July 25, 2008

Amy Winehouse Looks Totally Sober


She was in hospital where a doctor told her to sober up and quit smoking ciggies or she'd be dead in a year.

Sobriety is working out REAL WELL, isn't it?

Source

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

This is Amy Winehouse's Mother-in-Law


And boy she looks like she'd kick some ass. No wonder Amy didn't show up for Blake's sentencing. She was scared of this bitch. I would be too! Damn. She looks scary. She might whoop the crackhive in shape, though, you never know. Her name is Georgettte which is fitting. She also has this "Whatever" look. She must've been expecting bad things because Blake got 27 months on top of what he's already served. She's like "Meh. Back home I go."

Source

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Random Acts of Crap


Jamie Lynn Spears takes her turn whoring out her newborn on a magazine cover. - IDLYITW

Lezzy Lohan sorta comes out of the closet. - What Would Tylder Durden Do?

Matthew McConaughy explains the Biblical reason he named his kid Levi. I'm trying to figure out what kinda stoner reads the BIBLE. Seriously, someone explain this to me. - The Superficial

Pete Wentzy likes to talk to his unborn child. Keep it up, dumbass and the kid will never want to come out! - A Socialite's Life

Amy Winehouse is still punching people. - DListed

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Amy Winehouse Still Insane


While walking home with her father, for some reason only obvious to crackheads, she ran off into traffic, then asked some dude in a convertible for a ride. Apparently he agreed, because she crawled all over his car, got in, and they took off. She appeared home again later, and walked her crazy ass inside.

Yep, she's still fucking crazy. I guess that means she's not quitting drugs and she's on her own little stairway to hell.

Source

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Amy Winehouse is Not Dying


So she hasn't got emphysema even though that's what her dumbass father was rambling about yesterday. She's got SIGNS of the disease, and if she doesn't quit drugs and ciggs she's going to GET the disease. Whatever. Her dad is still an idiot and here's what he told BBC Radio:

"Amy really hasn't got emphysema, there's traces of emphysema. Obviously, if she doesn't quit smoking, it's going to get worse, like everyone else ... with patience her lungs will recover completely."

According to Mitch, she's not any more predisposed to the diesease than anyone else. Nevermind the fact she does more crack in a day than Whitney Houston did in a year! She's fine. Someone told her to go to rehab, and she said no, no, no.

Fucking idiots.

Source

Monday, June 23, 2008

Amy Winehouse Needs to Quit Drugs


I know, you're thinking, "Well, DUH!" But this isn't a joke. She doesn't have TB, but emphysema, according to a statement made by her father to The Daily Mail. Mitch Winehouse has said the doctors told his daughter to quit the drugs, cigs, and other shit she does otherwise she'll be in a wheelchair with oxygen within a month.

More from daddy: "The doctors have said that if she had continued the way she was going she could have ended up an invalid - she wouldn't have been able to breathe. With smoking the crack cocaine and the cigarettes her lungs are all gunked up. There are nodules around the chest and dark marks. She's got 70 per cent lung capacity."

Perhaps now he'll see she needs more than to "settle down and have kids" to quit drugs. Seriously, this chick is in a bad way and doesn't need enablers in her life.

He goes on to say that he's spoken to her husband, Blake, who is currently in prison. Blake promised to quit when he gets out for Amy's sake. He's also got a warning for the dealers who sell Amy her shit, as well as her friend Pete Doherty.

"I'm saying to those drug dealers, and they know who they are, if they are supplying crack to Amy, then they've got to take responsibility. I don't want her hanging out with her mates like Pete Doherty either."

Nowhere does it say where he takes responsibility himself for being a fat enabler. Oh well. Hopefully while he's busy spreading the blame, she'll figure out she needs to get healthy on her own. Otherwise I don't see this chick making it to 2009.

Source

Friday, June 20, 2008

Amy Winehouse May Have TB


The Sun UK is reporting that Amy Winehouse is being kept in hospital because she's been coughing up blood which can be indicative of tuberculosis. Or just a crackhead. I'm sure that's not good on the body either. Whatever, I'm not a doctor!

The 24-year-old Back to Black star has an irregular heartbeat and has been on a drip while medics try to wean her off hard drugs.Last night a close pal told The Sun:"Amy is in a bad way. Doctors are still struggling to control her heartbeat but the chest condition has been really worrying them."She’d been been suffering horrible coughing fits and hurling up blood for a while but refused to be examined. Doctors now believe it is tuberculosis and are doing more tests to be certain."

We shall see.

Source

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Random Acts of Crap


Someone in London has a sense of humor. - DListed

Steve Gutenberg is a friendly guy. - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

50 Cent suing ex for claiming he burnt down her house while she and their son were sleeping. - The Superficial

Amy Winehouse has an irregular heartbeat. Crack will do that to ya. - DListed

Pete Wentzy fancies himself an actor. - In Case You Didn't Know

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Drugs Are Bad!


Yeah ya think? Amy Winehouse is in hospital for passing out and some genious doctor told her: "Quit drugs now — or die." Wow he thought about that one for a long time, didn't he?

Brain scans have been done that show her medical problems all link back to her drug problem. Well double-duh, there. I don't even have a diploma and only have half a brain most of the time, and I coulda told you that.

Nothing like some Captain Obvious shit to get the morning started off right.

Source

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Random Acts of Crap


Denise Richards is a lying crazy bitch. - IDLYITW

Billy Ray Cyrus is fucking creepy. - The Superficial

Jennifer Aniston is pretty much a bitch. Not a pretty bitch, but a bitch. - IDLYITW

Tara Reid is still a whore. - Lainey Gossip

Vintage Amy Winehouse: Holy shit she looks like a human being! And she's almost (gasp) PRETTY! Crack is wack, folks. - Seriously OMG

George Michael has lost his mind. - Holy Moly