Holy Hell...

That guy is Shelley Malil, mostly known for playing Haziz in the movie 40-Year Old Virgin. He has been arrested for breaking into his ex-girlfriend's home and stabbing her about 20 times. Holy mother of shit, apparently he's insane.

From Fox News: On Sunday night about 15 miles east in San Marcos, deputies answering reports of screams for help and breaking glass found a woman with multiple stab wounds and cuts on her face, with no suspect at the scene. She was taken to the hospital and was in critical condition Monday morning. Authorities did not know her condition early Tuesday. "Malil and the victim had apparently been in a dating relationship which recently ended," the statement said. Malil was arrested for investigation of attempted murder, mayhem and burglary and booked into the county's Vista Detention Center, the statement said. A deputy on duty early Tuesday did not know the name of Malil's lawyer and attempts to identify and reach him for comment were unsuccessful."

Wow. Just, wow. All I can say is I hope he doesn't get the same judge that Shia Ladouche or Queen Nicky got. Otherwise they'll slap him with a fine, pat him on the back, and send him on his way. This dude is completely off his shit.

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Brooke Hogan is Still an Idiot

One of Brooke's handlers needs to take away her computer. She posted some more crap on her MySpace about how eeeevil the media is and how bad they make her look. As if she needs help in that department.

Monday, July 28, 2008
Stupid people of the press
Heres how stupid and inaccurate the media can be…
According to the press I didn’t show up to my brothers 18th birthday at the jail.
Lets see…
*hes in jail
*Its an important birthday…the big 18!!!
*I’m only a 4 hour drive to Tampa
*He’s the most important thing in my life.
They must have thought I didn’t show cause they didn’t SEE me. uhh…there’s such thing as a back door you jerks.
In conclusion…That goes to show you that you can’t believe anything you watch on TV or read in magazines. Cause people will make up BS without even knowing the facts. Hey Media! Why don’t you gather facts, check them, and then give the public the truth? That might work. Oh no…I forgot. You make too much money telling LIES.
Needless to say, I WAS there for my brother on his birthday because he is my best friend and NOTHING comes before family.

I don't care whether she was there or not. What I want to know is if Queen Nicky is anybody's boyfriend yet! Oh I hope they chola'd him out a la Celia in the 4th season of Weeds! Ha! The thought of Queen Nicky with sharpie eyebrows makes me happy.

Because of this, I used the Celia picture for this post. I just couldn't stomach another horsey picture of Brooke Hogan. I know everyone agrees!

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This is Amy Winehouse's Mother-in-Law

And boy she looks like she'd kick some ass. No wonder Amy didn't show up for Blake's sentencing. She was scared of this bitch. I would be too! Damn. She looks scary. She might whoop the crackhive in shape, though, you never know. Her name is Georgettte which is fitting. She also has this "Whatever" look. She must've been expecting bad things because Blake got 27 months on top of what he's already served. She's like "Meh. Back home I go."

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Christian Bale Being Held for Questioning

I know he's Batman now. But still when I see Christian Bale I think of American Psycho, and him, naked chasing a hooker, covered in blood, with a chainsaw. Good times.

Anywho, he's been arrested in suspicion of hitting his mom. His mom and sister filed a complaint in London. According to The UK Sun: He is alleged to have lashed out on Sunday night at Park Lane’s Dorchester Hotel — where he has a suite.Mum Jenny, 61, and sister Sharon, 40, who lives in Dorset, went to a police station in Hampshire yesterday to lodge the allegation. The matter was referred to the Met Police.
Detectives, well aware of last night’s glittering bash, took the decision not to approach Bale yesterday. But they are expected to make attempts to quiz the Wales-born actor today.
A source said: “It was a very difficult situation but it would have been wrong to have wrecked the premiere over a complaint which we don’t yet know is founded in truth.
“But Mr Bale will be contacted at the earliest opportunity and be asked to provide an account of anything that happened.”
A Met Police spokesman said: “We can confirm we have received allegation from another force in relation to an alleged incident in central London.”

He was arrested and is being held for questioning. Bad Batman! No cookie!

I dunno. I got nothing. I guess I'll wait and see if he did it and then make fun of him for being a mom-beating asshole.

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Random Acts of Crap

The Dark Knight opened on Friday and broke records. Duh. - IDLYITW

DMX gets arrested AGAIN. Is this dude ever not in jail? - The Superficial

Britney to family: I am not an ATM! Ooookay... - DListed

Top Gun 2? Please say no. - SeriouslyOMG

Patrick Swayze still doing well recovering from cancer. - DListed

Rampage on a Rampage...Ha Ha, I'm So Witty.

I'm only talking about this because my husband is huge into UFC and I know Quentin "Rampage" Jackson just lost the championship belt to Forrest Griffin not too long ago so I dunno if those things are related. But also, look at his big truck with the big picture of him on the side...pure awesome.

Anywho, he got his shit arrested.

Rampage was on the 55 Freeway in the O.C., hit two cars and got off the freeway. The chase was on.Rampage then began driving on the center divider. But it gets worse. According to the police report, Jackson then drove on the sidewalk, "causing pedestrians to flee for their lives." He started driving the wrong way on a crowded street, colliding with yet another car in an intersection. As he continued on, running several red lights, his tire disintegrated and he began driving on the rim.
Rampage eventually got to the exclusive Balboa Peninsula in Newport Beach, where he again drove on the sidewalk, "causing pedestrians to flee in terror."
Eventually, his car came to a stop and he was taken into custody at gunpoint. Cops took him to the Orange County Jail, but they determined he was "medically unfit" to be booked. Cops won't say if he was high.

He was probably stoned and thought he was IN a game of Grand Theft Auto or some boring shit like that, but I couldn't resist posting with such a kick ass title. I rule.

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Hulk Hogan: "I Was Under a Lot of Pressure..."

Shut the hell up you orange bastard. Admit you raised two spoiled, nasty, idiot, orange children.

This is Daddy Hogan on Larry King Live with his mouthpiece lawyer whining about how the taped phone conversations between Queen Nicky and his mommy and daddy were released to the public. He tries claiming that the statements he himself made stating John Graziano basically got what he deserved were "taken out of context." What the fuck? In case anybody forgot, John is a supposed "friend" to the Hogan family who is now in a semi-comatose state and MISSING PART OF HIS HEAD because Queen Nicky got faded and raced his penis-replacement sports car and wrecked it with John as his passenger. According to Queen Nicky, John is a "negative person."

Hulk basically made the family look a million times worse. Good damage control! Way to be!

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This is Not the Type of Rape I Had in Mind

Statutory rape is boring. He'd enjoy that shit too much.

Anyways, Nick Hogan got a letter from some chick in Florida named Stephanie Ragusa, a teacher who is charged "with lewd or lascivious battery and unlawful sexual activity with a minor." She wanted to extend her support to Queen Nicky. And by "extend her support" she means "extend her hand to his pee pee."

From AP: The letter was intercepted by Pinellas County sheriff's deputies after they recognized Ragusa's name, the jail's return address and her docket number on the envelope, authorities said. Bollea, who is serving an eight-month sentence on a charge of reckless driving with serious bodily injury, was later given a copy of the letter.Ragusa, 29, is facing charges of lewd or lascivious battery and unlawful sexual activity with a minor.

What's funny is they got the letter, checked it out, but still gave a copy to Queen Nicky. Ha! Don't know why I find that amusing, but I do.

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God Was Listening After All!

So as a "result of ongoing assessments of inmate situations" Queen Nicky Hogan got moved to a cell with other juviniles. Meaning: he has roommates! Let the butt-raping begin! Woo!

That bitch is really gonna cry now!

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More Evidence of Nick Hogan's Pussy-ness

So King Pussy, well QUEEN Pussy Nick Hogan got denied by the court to spend part of his sentence at home in a freaking huge-ass mansion. I guess they figured that wasn't a fitting punishment for driving drunk, wrecking his car, and thus giving his "best friend" permanent brain damgage wherein he is now not responsive to light in his eyes or the voices of his parents. God, what assholes! It was just a car accident!

Anywho, in response to his bitching, the Sheriff's department where he is being jailed has released photos of a cell exactly like the one that Nick is being kept in. Remember him literally crying at his mother about how there's not even a window in his cell? Turns out he's a lying pussy. I know, I'm not shocked either.

The sheriff's office also released Nick's schedule:

Morning Breakfast: Approx. 3:30 a.m. in the cell

Working away from the cell in Inmate Property Section: Approximately 8:00 - 2:00 p.m. No work on Saturday and Sunday

Lunch: Approx. 10:30 a.m. - in the Inmate Property Section

Visitation: 3:00 p.m - 4:00 p.m., Tuesday, Friday and Sunday at Video Visitation booth on the floor, down the hall from his cell.

Dinner: Approx. 4:00 p.m. in the cell

Daily activities where Bollea is out of his cell also include; Attorney visits, recreation (1 hour), several daily telephone calls

Other services available to Bollea: Inmate library books are delivered, Chaplain services, inmate mail, law library materials are available by request, commissary items."

It doesn't exactly sound like a vacation, but it's JAIL. It could be a lot worse. He could be in general population, where part of his activities include being the teabaggee to a rather large, tattooed individual named Judd.

So it's safe to say I still think Nick Hogan sucks and I'm going to call him Queen Nicky from now on. Queen Nicky of the Douchebags! Yes, I like it.

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Court to Nick Hogan: Grow a Pair, Pussy!

Nick Hogan's request to serve part of his sentence at home with his mommy has been denied. His ass is still in jail. I dunno what he's bitching about. If I was that much of a pansy, I'd be damn grateful to be in solitary. Because you know there are some dudes in jail who would like to make Nicky their girlfriend. And I would pay money to see that.

In other news, John Graziano still has irreparable brain damage. So yeah. Nick does not, in case you were wondering. He's just a douchebag.

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I'm Not the Only Bitch Who Thinks Nick Hogan Deserves to be Miserable

Over at CelebWarship, they covered the story about Nick Hogan being a pissy asshole about having to give up an entire 8 months of his life while his friend basically gave up the entire rest of his life. The comments on that story over there are quite awesome so I thought I'd give them tribute here.

AmyD says: May 21st, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Poor baby, he’s “struggling to form a sentence”. Yeah, so’s the guy you PUT INTO A COMA, you asshole.

-My thoughts exactly.


Kats says: May 22nd, 2008 at 10:31 am
Good. I hope the little entitled fucker rots.

- I love you.

Seriously, that made me happy. So I thought I'd share. In case any of you bitches think I was mean to that little pussy, then there ya go. I'm not alone!

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Excuse Me While I Get Back on My Soapbox...

Yes, THAT is what was left of the car that Nick Hogan was driving when he lost control, hit a median, flipped it, thus putting his friend in a COMA. He was drunk. His friend will be in a nursing home the rest of his life.

Nick is now being a pissy little bitch about having to serve a whole 8 fucking months in jail. Now, in case you were wondering, his friend has suffered SEVERE, PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE because PART OF HIS BRAIN AND SKULL ARE GONE. Want to see the damage for real? Go here to see pictures of John Graziano. I'm warning you, they are disturbing. This poor kid and his poor family.

Sorry to be a preachy bitch, but Nick was DRUNK. We DO know that driving + drunk asshole = BAD at this point right???

ZERO sympathy for this douche. I hope jail sucks and he's made someone's bitch. End of story.

Off the soapbox now and back to making fun of people.

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Nick Hogan Not Enjoying Jail

Yeah who cares. I just cannot bring forth any sort of pity for this bitch. He CHOSE to get drunk, then CHOSE to get behind the wheel, then like the dumbass that he is, RACE some bitch, and wreck his car, which left his friend with permanent brain damage. This ruined the life of his friend, and that friend's ENTIRE FAMILY. So yeah. No sympathy here for Nick Hogan.

Anyways. The NY Post says Nick isn't dealing well with prison. Well, that's the point, isn't it?

"Nick's doing really bad. He's struggling to even form a sentence," one friend said. "They have him in a cell by himself, isolated from the general population, because of threats. He didn't understand how awful jail really is until now." That will be small consolation to Graziano's relatives, who say Hogan has done very little for their son since the crash.

Once again, I just cannot feel sorry for this asshole. He did win a few points by owning up to what he did in court, but in the end, this is your punishment. Take it like a man.

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This Bitch is Going to Jail

Lou Pearlman is the ho you have to thank for New Kids on the Block, N'Sync, and Backstreet Boys. I know I'm thanking his ass. Ugh.

Anyways, he was convicted after pleading guilty to cheating banks and investors out of around $300 million and he wanted to put off starting his sentence so he could promote his new group, US 5. The judge didn't think it was a good idea either.

According to Reuters: In an audacious two-decade-long scam, Pearlman enticed individuals and banks to invest millions of dollars in two companies that existed only on paper and won the confidence of investors with strong but fake financial statements created by a fictitious accounting firm, according to his plea agreement.

U.S. Judge G. Kendall Sharp held up a book with letters from Pearlman's victims, saying they included "his family, his close friends and people in their 70s and 80s who have lost their life savings."

"So the sympathy factor doesn't run high with the court," Sharp said.

He was sentenced to 25 years. Good riddance.

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I'm Not Surprised

In LA, I think you could run someone over with your damned Mercedes and make it outta jail in less than a day. Seriously.

Yesterday Scott Weiland checked himself into jail at 8:55 AM to start his 192 hour jail sentence to get it done on time for his reunion tour with Stone Temple Pilots that's set to start in Ohio on the 17th. Well, they let his ass go after ten hours. Seriously, what the hell?

Oh well. At least I know the bitch will be here for RockFest. Now I just need that bitch Moose to answer the damn phone when I'm trying to win tickets. Hey, I'd buy 'em but I'm a broke ass ho. Hostess snack cakes don't buy themselves!

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Nick Hogan to Spend 8 Months in Jail

Only 8 months?!?! Seriously this little douche put a guy in a coma. This poor man is gonna spend the rest of his life in a nursing home, and all Nick gets is 8 fucking months??

In case you don't remember, Nick Hogan got liquored up and thought he should drive his car and then race said car. He got into a horrible accident, which gave his friend irreversable brain damage.

Anyways, for some reason, they let his dumbass sister Brooke talk in court. She stood up and cried about "this is why she hates being a celebrity." Yeah, because she's a selfish bitch like that.

Before being sentenced, Nick got to speak to the judge. He was pretty mature about his guilt, though I'll give him that. He said in part: "I'll never, ever be able to tell John 'sorry' enough times to make up for what happened on Aug. 26. I loved John to death. He was like my oldest brother and my best friend. I'm ready to take my punishment."

He's to go to jail immediately.

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See? I Was Right. Next Stop: Rehab!

Gary Dourdan has been officially charged with possession of a lot of drugs. His tired as hell excuse that they weren't his didn't work. This is my surprised face.

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As Usual....

Someone gets busted with a pharmacy of drugs in their car. Does that someone fess up and admit to the crime? Hell no!

Earlier I posted about Gary Dourdan's awesome night and arrest. When asked about the situation, he told Access Hollywood: "I am blessed that the Sgt. realized that the luggage carrying whatever they found was not mine and that my tests have been coming back negative. I've been happy to cooperate in any way to clear myself and go on with my blessed life."

Meaning: "That shit wasn't mine."

Right. Like I said before, next stop: REHAB!

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Hey, It Was Worth a Shot.

Nobody should mistake 21-year-old Charles Fuller for a genious. Hell no, look at him! He's a fucking dumbass.

He went to a bank in Fort Worth, Texas with a check to cash. For $360 billion. Right. Obviously the bank teller thought this odd and phoned the account holder, who happened to be Fuller's girlfriend's mother. Even more obviously, she denied giving him any check, let alone one for that much money.

Cops were called and bitch was arrested. They found some pot and a gun on him. He claimed the mother had given him the check to start his record label. Okay then! This kid is going places, I can tell.

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