Brooke Hogan Says She's a Liar

Apparently man-woman Brooke Hogan signed something saying she agreed that her father Hulk Hogan beat on her mother, Linda, during her marriage. This paper was then used by Linda to get that restraining order on Hulk. (Remember? The one we heard about when she made the 911 call saying he was stalking her, but really, she was FOLLOWING HIM? Oh yeah.)

Anywho, Brooke is now saying she was lying when she signed that and her mother pressured her into it at a time when she was pissed at her dad.

Says Brooke: "I did it under significant pressure from my mother...It was only after I learned all the facts that I realized I made a big mistake in signing it."

Rumor also has it that she is icked out by the fact that her mother is cougared up with some 19-year-old kid who looks a lot like Queen Nicky, who is currently in jail and might get transferred to the adult side after this weekend. (Ha awesome!)

"I love my mother, and hope to one day reconcile with her," she says. "But using kids as pawns in a divorce is awful. Every day my mother resorts to this kind of behavior makes it that much harder for us to ever have a relationship again."

Whatever. I'm tired of her ass and they can all jump in the ocean and drown for all I care.

Source

More Proof Hulk Hogan Freaks Me the Hell Out

One of these dykish blonde bitches is Brooke Hogan (Hulk's daughter) and the other is his girlfriend. Someone will have to tell me which is which because I cannot fucking tell. And that skeezes me out.

Source

Hogans Divorce Getting Nasty

Because these people suck, and I like reminding my 3 readers of this fact, here we go.

Linda Hogan is throwing a bitchfit that Terry is basically refusing to follow judges orders to continue to buy some real estate they were in the middle of buying when the whole divorce thing started. She wants his ass thrown in jail because when the day came to sign the paperwork, he was no where to be found.

"Hulk Hogan left his signature bandanna at home today, because it could clash with the orange jumpsuit a judge may force him to wear.

Hulk and soon-to-be-ex wife Linda were in court in Clearwater, Fla., as Mrs. H. asked hizzoner to hold her estranged hubby in contempt for failing to close on a $4.2 million Vegas condo.

As we first reported, Hulk wants to bail out on the deal — even if it means he loses his $840,000 deposit. Linda says they had an agreement to close on the condo and Hulk had no right to withhold the cash."

Apparently she wants somewhere to party with her toddler boyfriend. Who cares. Except maybe if Terry goes to the slammer they can put him next door to his pussy son Queeny Nick and they can cry like bitches together.

Source

The Hogans Are Still Inappropriate

First, Brooke Hogan wanted to address the pictures that hit the internet WEEKS ago of her creepy dad putting sun lotion on her ass.

From Us Magazine: "I know I'm a grown woman, but it's like he's touching an old car," the singer tells Us Weekly in its latest issue, on newsstands now. "He used to change my diaper!" she adds."

I don't care what he did with her diapers. (Ew.) She is exactly that: a grown ass woman and that shit is disgusting. Hulk pretty much shot himself into Papa Joe territory for that shit.

Further not helping his perv status, let's move on to the second part of my story.

Brooke posed for some pictures for July's issue of Maxim. Don't ask me why, but I guess she's hot after all that Photoshop and airbrushing, I dunno. According to Pop Tarts, daddy "just had" to come along for the photo shoot to make sure "she didn't show too much skin." What the fuck! Good job! When he follows along with her to Playboy, someone look into that, please. Give him a mental evaluation and lock his orange ass up.

Freaks.

Source and Source

Linda Hogan is that Special Kind of Stupid You Only Hear About...

So Linda has an order of protection against soon-to-be-ex-husband, the Orange Crusader, Hulk Hogan himself. He shows up at her house. She dials 911, he leaves. What does she do?

Linda: He’s been ordered away because he’s threatened my life before and I don’t want him around I’m shaking, I’m following him until he leaves.
911: Okay, you said he left, or he is leaving?
Linda: Yeah he left, I’m following him right now.
911: Why are you following him?
Linda: I don’t know
911: Stop following him!

That's right, you get in your car and follow him! Nevermind the fact that you claim he's made threats against your life and you're afraid of him. Follow his ass!

Okay to recap here: Queen Nicky is a heartless remorseless pussy who put his "best friend" into a vegetative state. Then daddy, Hulk, not only makes threats at Mom, but says the "best friend" who is in the vegetative state, had it coming because he is a "negative person." Besides the fact that mom is a flaming moron, she is also dating 19-year-olds. No wonder the daughter's show is called Brooke Knows Best. She is a flipping moron, but next to these other dumbasses, she looks like a frigging genious!

Why are people this dumb allowed on television?

Source

More Hate for the Orange People

In my continuting attempts to prove the orange Hogans are evil soulless bastards going to hell, I found this video today.

Now, big warning first: its an uncensored video of John Graziano's therapy. If you remember the picture I posted of the gap in his head from the accident caused by Queen Nicky's drunken attempt to prove how cool he is? That picture was apparently fuzzier than I thought because the gap in his head is much bigger and the video nearly made me cry. This boy used to be able-bodied enough to serve in the military. Now his eyes are open, but it doesn't seem like he sees anybody. This video is sad, and if it made my cold heart melt and almost bring me to tears, you know its bad. If you would like to see the video, go to my source.

Now, I have a good idea out of all of this. Someone sit Hulk on his orange leathery ass and make him watch this video. See if the fucker feels any remorse at all for saying John had it coming. Hell, even if he did feel remorse, I probably wouldn't feel any differently about him. These people make me sick.

Source

The Hogans Might Get Their Asses Kicked - Awesome!

I will give this guy a cookie if he kicks any of their orange asses.

AOL released a phone call from Frank Graziano to Hulk Hogan wherein Frank says some not-so-nice things about the Hulkster and his son, Queen Nicky.

You can check out the phone call here. Some radio dudes dicipher it because all the good words are beeped out. Basically he promises a lifetime of hurt and legal shit for Hulk Hogan and the entire soulless family. Which as far as Queen Nicky is concerned, is basically awesome. You can also hear Frank on a radio show in Tampa right here. He calls Queen Nicky "Nicole." Hee!

This makes me smile. Karma is a bitch, and someone give Frank a medal.

Source

Good God Will He STFU Already?!?!!

Nevermind the fact that dumbass needs to fire whoever let him leave the house with a bandana the same shade of putrid orange as his leather ass, I'm talking about Hulk Hogan's pathetic excuse for damage control again. The deapths of my dislike for these assholes knows no bounds.

In case you missed the show or don't care to wade through the bullshit, I thought I'd quote a few gems from the transcript at CNN.com as further proof that these people are wastes of skin.

H. HOGAN: Well, my gosh, if you rewind back to the original sentence from the judge, the judge sentenced Nick to eight months minimum security. And from the moment he was sentenced, he walked out of jail. And we were all thinking he would be in minimum security for eight months.

They took him straight to the mental part -- the mental ward of the hospital and put him in a very small padded cell. And from that padded cell, we worked all through that weekend -- because it was on a Friday, waited until the next week and we thought were having him moved to a better spot, but they moved him to a maximum security area, where most of the prisoners were altogether in cell with pods, and 10 or 15 prisoners per pod that they had the use of a phone and they could see a TV.

But Nick was moved to maximum security, but at the end of the hallway in a solitary confinement, so -- which is usually used for punishing hardened criminals.

Before anybody feels sorry for Queen Nicky, all this was because this was an adult's prison he was sentenced to, and he won't be 18 for several months and they were going to keep him in solitary until then for his own protection. Not that its going to get any safer when he's of age, but oh well.

KING: How did the drag racing occur, though?

H. HOGAN: Well, he precision drives. That's what he was doing for his career, the drifting situation. But, you know, the drag racing, we've got -- as far as the situation legally, we've got witnesses that say there was not drag racing. We've got one...

"Precision drives?" What the fuck. Call it what you like, but driving a car super-fast on city streets with the intention of getting somewhere faster than another douchebag driving fast on a city street is called DRAG RACING. ILLEGAL fucking drag racing at that. Shut the fuck up, Hulk.

Next!

HOGAN: In my mind, I believe they were not drag racing.

And in my mind, I have a pet unicorn and I am a personal assitant and nanny to Dame Goddess Angelina Jolie and personal footwasher since she's the size of a city and probably hasn't seen her feet since early in her second trimester. What's your point?

Stupid asses.

From taped phone conversation in regards to some reality show they wanna do:

HOGAN: Yes. OK, you want to do it with Pink Sneakers or you want to do it with someone else.
N. HOGAN: I want to do it where I will make the most money.

On Larry King:

HOGAN: I just wish that someone would play the two hours before, or the hour after, and please put everything into proper context.

How would the context change? What else could "I want to do it where I will make the most money" mean? Pretty fucking straight forward to me.

HOGAN: Like I said, this is in God's hand. Things happen for a reason. This is to make Nick a better person. In my belief, this is to make John a better person. It is like I said before, you know, it is god's will where we're at with this situation. I refuse to accept any negativity, any nay sayers. I firmly believe there is a plan. It is god's plan and god's will.

Because having part of your head gone and being in a semi-concious state will certainly make you "a better person."

These people have no soul. It is my belief that karma is a bitch, and she's gonna serve a pretty good smack-down on all these whores when the time comes.

Source

Hulk Hogan: "I Was Under a Lot of Pressure..."

Shut the hell up you orange bastard. Admit you raised two spoiled, nasty, idiot, orange children.

This is Daddy Hogan on Larry King Live with his mouthpiece lawyer whining about how the taped phone conversations between Queen Nicky and his mommy and daddy were released to the public. He tries claiming that the statements he himself made stating John Graziano basically got what he deserved were "taken out of context." What the fuck? In case anybody forgot, John is a supposed "friend" to the Hogan family who is now in a semi-comatose state and MISSING PART OF HIS HEAD because Queen Nicky got faded and raced his penis-replacement sports car and wrecked it with John as his passenger. According to Queen Nicky, John is a "negative person."

Hulk basically made the family look a million times worse. Good damage control! Way to be!

Source

Those Poor Hogans

Stupid orange freaks. They're all stupid asses, I've decided.

Brooke Hogan got into an accident and sadly, is all right and didn't sustain any injuries. She did blog about it on her MySpace, then promptly removed the stupidity. But Michael K at DListed posted it in its entirety so we can giggle together:

What happened to my brother and our friend John was horrible and very hard for both of our families. But I truly believe my brother and John saved My life and my best friends life.... I don't know if you heard, but my friend and I got into a really bad car accident today ourselves... As I turned on my car I clicked my seatbelt. As we pulled out onto the road, I looked over and realized my friend didn't have her seatbelt on. I reminded her to put it on and the minute she clicked it, a car crashed into us. It was a horrible car accident, one that most would be severely hurt in, but we had our seatbelts on and they kept us in tight. I have to thank my brother and my best friend John for teaching me an important lesson that saved our lives.

I know that because my family is under a microscope, the turn of unfortunate events are magnified and seem like they just keep on coming...And having everyone watching and commenting on our life is extremely hard. If I could stop it I would because it feels terrible. We try to stay away from it but can't help that its shoved in our faces. So please, if youre a supporter, please spread the good around cause its nice to have friends when things go awry. And for the haters, Im sure we're not the only ones you're hurting. I would hope people are never this mean to you because it makes things so much harder......You're human and so are we. Nothing different.

God Bless

Someone give this bitch an award. Once again she has to bitch about how "mean" we all are to her stupid brother. In case anyone has forgotten, that asshole got drunk, decided to drive his stupid penis replacement car, get into an illegal street race with another asshole, crash his car, and put his friend in an irreversable coma. Wow, life is hard for Nick, isn't it? Oh yeah it's rough. Poor baby had to give up 8 whole months in jail.

In case you're wondering, all respect I had for this douche is now gone.

TMZ got ahold of a couple taped phone coversations Nick had with his parents in jail. In one he is whining to his mommy about how horrible jail is and how he doesn't even have a window. He also goes on to bitch that he doesn't think it's fair that he's in jail for a "car accident." Seriously. Want to hear that stupidity? Go here. Yes, he's literally crying like a baby during it. I like that she tells him he "has to handle it" and "he can't buy his way out of it." Damn skippy, pussy man.

They got another conversation between Nick and his father Hulk wherein his father basically blamed Nick's victim, John Graziano. Seriously. Says Hulk: "God laid some heavy shit on that kid, I don't know what he was into." Wow. That's some brass ones. Nick responds with "He was a negative person."

You know what? I know a lot of fucking negative people but who the hell deserves what John got? Yeah he made the decision to get in the car with the douche, but ultimately, it was Nick's responsibility to get his passengers and himself from point A to point B safely. He broke the law, John didn't. Asshole.

In the conversation, Nick and Hulk yap about some reality deal they're set to do when the douch gets out of jail. He tells his dad to work on it so he can make the most money. Wow. Here that beauty here.

They are all assholes and karma is a bitch. That's all I'm saying.

Source, Source and

Source

This Explains a Lot

Apparently Brooke Hogan is going nuts. This explains so much for me. Fox News is reporting that with her brother in jail, and her parents splitting up, she's taking all the shit the hardest.

Daddy Hulk Hogan thinks the reality show they did for VH1 is to blame for all the family's issues: “I was offered lots of [reality] shows when I was making my career comeback against The Rock, but I kept saying no. But years later, it was my daughter’s career and son’s racing career that we were thinking about."

"We saw the Ashlee Simpson show and Jessica Simpson’s and Lindsay Lohan on the big screen and we just didn’t haven’t a vehicle to compete, but I considered it, because this time it was about the Hogan family rather than Hulk Hogan; they all wanted to do it and I tried to warn them about what they were in for. Now look what happened.”

Yeah because these shows always worked out SO WELL for these people's personal lives. Chestica Simpson and Nick Lachey split up. Nobody cared about Ashlee Simpson before or after her damn show. Jack and Kelly Osbourne have battled with drug and alcohol addiction. Reality TV is awesome, folks.

Gimmie a break. Own up to what you've all done. Reality TV did NOT make Nick wreck his car. His dumbness and the fact that he was legally drunk did that. Reality TV did NOT make Hulk go screw his 20-something daughter's friend thus ending his marriage of like 15-some-odd years. Idiots.

Source

If You Weren't Creeped Out Enough Before...

Yeah this should just about do it. Although Hulk seriously looks like he's about to smush Brooke's boyfriend's head into small tiny pieces to clog the pool drain.

Source

Ew Ew Ew Ew

Yes, that's Hulk Hogan. Yes he is slathering Brooke's ass with sun lotion. Brooke is his DAUGHTER if you didn't realize. This is Papa Joe Simpson territory and it skeeves me out. Ew.

Source