Random Acts of Crap

Brooke Hogan tucks back her penis and wears a bikini. Good job, Brooke. You ALMOST pass. - The Superficial

Will Smith denies again that's he's a part of the $cientology cult. - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Lezzy Lohan and Sam Ronson hate on Sarah Palin via Lezzy's MySpace blog. - The Superficial

Matthew McConaughey finished that triatholon an hour faster than JLo. Boy, she's gonna be pissed that people know that. - WWTDD

Eva Mendes has done the sexy in all 50 states. Alaska was not a good experience, incidentally. I blame Sarah Palin. - DListed

Mary Louise Parker's boobies on Weeds. - Egotastic

Reunited, and it feels so good. (Britney Spears at Starbucks.) - The Superficial

How Does Hulk Hogan Know Who to Do?

Seriously, his daughter and his girlfriend are like twins. I can't tell the bitches apart. This is some creepy shit.

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Brooke Hogan is Still an Idiot

One of Brooke's handlers needs to take away her computer. She posted some more crap on her MySpace about how eeeevil the media is and how bad they make her look. As if she needs help in that department.

Monday, July 28, 2008
Stupid people of the press
Heres how stupid and inaccurate the media can be…
According to the press I didn’t show up to my brothers 18th birthday at the jail.
Lets see…
*hes in jail
*Its an important birthday…the big 18!!!
*I’m only a 4 hour drive to Tampa
*He’s the most important thing in my life.
They must have thought I didn’t show cause they didn’t SEE me. uhh…there’s such thing as a back door you jerks.
In conclusion…That goes to show you that you can’t believe anything you watch on TV or read in magazines. Cause people will make up BS without even knowing the facts. Hey Media! Why don’t you gather facts, check them, and then give the public the truth? That might work. Oh no…I forgot. You make too much money telling LIES.
Needless to say, I WAS there for my brother on his birthday because he is my best friend and NOTHING comes before family.

I don't care whether she was there or not. What I want to know is if Queen Nicky is anybody's boyfriend yet! Oh I hope they chola'd him out a la Celia in the 4th season of Weeds! Ha! The thought of Queen Nicky with sharpie eyebrows makes me happy.

Because of this, I used the Celia picture for this post. I just couldn't stomach another horsey picture of Brooke Hogan. I know everyone agrees!

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Brooke Hogan Says She's a Liar

Apparently man-woman Brooke Hogan signed something saying she agreed that her father Hulk Hogan beat on her mother, Linda, during her marriage. This paper was then used by Linda to get that restraining order on Hulk. (Remember? The one we heard about when she made the 911 call saying he was stalking her, but really, she was FOLLOWING HIM? Oh yeah.)

Anywho, Brooke is now saying she was lying when she signed that and her mother pressured her into it at a time when she was pissed at her dad.

Says Brooke: "I did it under significant pressure from my mother...It was only after I learned all the facts that I realized I made a big mistake in signing it."

Rumor also has it that she is icked out by the fact that her mother is cougared up with some 19-year-old kid who looks a lot like Queen Nicky, who is currently in jail and might get transferred to the adult side after this weekend. (Ha awesome!)

"I love my mother, and hope to one day reconcile with her," she says. "But using kids as pawns in a divorce is awful. Every day my mother resorts to this kind of behavior makes it that much harder for us to ever have a relationship again."

Whatever. I'm tired of her ass and they can all jump in the ocean and drown for all I care.

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Dumb Bitch!

Brooke Hogan has a show called Brooke Knows Best because she's the only Hogan with mroe than half a brain cell and because VH1 will give any dumbass their own show. Anywho, on the latest episode, she was interviewing some chick to be roommates with her. The chick asked her who she was voting for in the presidential election. This was her response: "You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?"

This ho needs bitch-slapped. Way to set women back a couple hundred years, ya dipshit.

God I hate this entire family. Why can't they OD on steriods and put me out of my misery?

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More Proof Hulk Hogan Freaks Me the Hell Out

One of these dykish blonde bitches is Brooke Hogan (Hulk's daughter) and the other is his girlfriend. Someone will have to tell me which is which because I cannot fucking tell. And that skeezes me out.

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The Hogans Are Still Inappropriate

First, Brooke Hogan wanted to address the pictures that hit the internet WEEKS ago of her creepy dad putting sun lotion on her ass.

From Us Magazine: "I know I'm a grown woman, but it's like he's touching an old car," the singer tells Us Weekly in its latest issue, on newsstands now. "He used to change my diaper!" she adds."

I don't care what he did with her diapers. (Ew.) She is exactly that: a grown ass woman and that shit is disgusting. Hulk pretty much shot himself into Papa Joe territory for that shit.

Further not helping his perv status, let's move on to the second part of my story.

Brooke posed for some pictures for July's issue of Maxim. Don't ask me why, but I guess she's hot after all that Photoshop and airbrushing, I dunno. According to Pop Tarts, daddy "just had" to come along for the photo shoot to make sure "she didn't show too much skin." What the fuck! Good job! When he follows along with her to Playboy, someone look into that, please. Give him a mental evaluation and lock his orange ass up.

Freaks.

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Linda Hogan is that Special Kind of Stupid You Only Hear About...

So Linda has an order of protection against soon-to-be-ex-husband, the Orange Crusader, Hulk Hogan himself. He shows up at her house. She dials 911, he leaves. What does she do?

Linda: He’s been ordered away because he’s threatened my life before and I don’t want him around I’m shaking, I’m following him until he leaves.
911: Okay, you said he left, or he is leaving?
Linda: Yeah he left, I’m following him right now.
911: Why are you following him?
Linda: I don’t know
911: Stop following him!

That's right, you get in your car and follow him! Nevermind the fact that you claim he's made threats against your life and you're afraid of him. Follow his ass!

Okay to recap here: Queen Nicky is a heartless remorseless pussy who put his "best friend" into a vegetative state. Then daddy, Hulk, not only makes threats at Mom, but says the "best friend" who is in the vegetative state, had it coming because he is a "negative person." Besides the fact that mom is a flaming moron, she is also dating 19-year-olds. No wonder the daughter's show is called Brooke Knows Best. She is a flipping moron, but next to these other dumbasses, she looks like a frigging genious!

Why are people this dumb allowed on television?

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Random Acts of Crap

White trash whores have a job now! Seriously, who hired these tired bitches for Kid Rock? - DListed

Brooke Hogan not happy about her mother dating the 19-year-old - The Superficial

Katherine Heigl too good for the Emmys. Who said you'd get one anyway, bitch? - IDLYITW

This Explains a Lot

Apparently Brooke Hogan is going nuts. This explains so much for me. Fox News is reporting that with her brother in jail, and her parents splitting up, she's taking all the shit the hardest.

Daddy Hulk Hogan thinks the reality show they did for VH1 is to blame for all the family's issues: “I was offered lots of [reality] shows when I was making my career comeback against The Rock, but I kept saying no. But years later, it was my daughter’s career and son’s racing career that we were thinking about."

"We saw the Ashlee Simpson show and Jessica Simpson’s and Lindsay Lohan on the big screen and we just didn’t haven’t a vehicle to compete, but I considered it, because this time it was about the Hogan family rather than Hulk Hogan; they all wanted to do it and I tried to warn them about what they were in for. Now look what happened.”

Yeah because these shows always worked out SO WELL for these people's personal lives. Chestica Simpson and Nick Lachey split up. Nobody cared about Ashlee Simpson before or after her damn show. Jack and Kelly Osbourne have battled with drug and alcohol addiction. Reality TV is awesome, folks.

Gimmie a break. Own up to what you've all done. Reality TV did NOT make Nick wreck his car. His dumbness and the fact that he was legally drunk did that. Reality TV did NOT make Hulk go screw his 20-something daughter's friend thus ending his marriage of like 15-some-odd years. Idiots.

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Brooke Hogan Makes Sense

Brooke Hogan apparently had something to say regarding her brother getting put in jail. What the hell she means, I have no idea.

From her MySpace: BSCurrent mood: pissed off
Category: Life
I know most of the public thinks my brother is some rich little selfish kid, but NO ONE knows the real story and I'm really pissed that the truth didn't come out from either side. A LOT of lies were told in that trial. Believe me. And it wasn't from us. John was NEVER home. He was at our house. ALL THE TIME. that should say enough…. Im not going to be out spoken right now, but If some s*** doesn't start getting straightened out, A lot of people are going to eat their words for lieing. I know all of the truth and I have back up. I never know how twisted this world could be but I'm starting to figure it out. And I'm gonna have to jump off my high road and tackle some ppl who are taking the low road. I know you guys don't understand, but you will really really soon. Keep praying. And by the way, before you judge anybody, make sure you really know them. I promise you if you were to meet my brother he would give you the shirt off his back. He's not "NICK HOGAN." AND hes not the person he plays on tv. People are so gullible now a days…"

Apparently that didn't say what she wanted to say because she took that down and put up this gem: wtvr
I have the truth on my side. And the truth will set everyone straight sooner or later. PEACE
ps: yes I took my last one off cause I know itll go around anyway. Have at it ppl."

Whatever the hell that means. Her brother basically accepted his guilt in court but I cannot say I'm surprised that Brooke is throwing a hissy fit. Bitch.

That being said, I'm totally adding her to my friends list. I'm a MySpace whore!

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If You Weren't Creeped Out Enough Before...

Yeah this should just about do it. Although Hulk seriously looks like he's about to smush Brooke's boyfriend's head into small tiny pieces to clog the pool drain.

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Ew Ew Ew Ew

Yes, that's Hulk Hogan. Yes he is slathering Brooke's ass with sun lotion. Brooke is his DAUGHTER if you didn't realize. This is Papa Joe Simpson territory and it skeeves me out. Ew.

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