Hugh Hefner Says there's a "Transition" Happening with Holly Madison

Translation: She is quite possibly doing Criss Angel even though that rumor got shot down a while ago. Meh.

From Us Magazine:

"She is still my girlfriend," he tells Usmagazine.com in a new interview. "Now will that last? I don’t think anything lasts forever.
"I love her very much, but you know, she wants very much to get married and have children. That isn’t very much in the cards for me," he adds. "So there has to be a certain reality there. And I’m sure the time will come when she’ll be dating others. That’s part of the transition."

Anywho. Apparently Holly and King of the Douchenozzles were spotted in Vegas together over the weekend, so perhaps this rumor has some weight after all. Once again, Hef to Criss Angel = DOWNGRADE. Sorry, Holly.

Source

Criss Angel is Still a Douche

A rumor was rolling around that Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner's #1 girlfriend had ditched him and the mansion and the Girls Next Door show to run away with Criss Angel. This rumor was bullshit, because Criss Angel has nowhere near enough money for Holly to be leaving Hef. Duh.

But, apparently, according to my source, the rumor was started by Criss' people. Because that's what douchey fake magician assholes do. I rest my case.

Source

How Does Hulk Hogan Know Who to Do?

Seriously, his daughter and his girlfriend are like twins. I can't tell the bitches apart. This is some creepy shit.

Source

Brooke Hogan is Still an Idiot

One of Brooke's handlers needs to take away her computer. She posted some more crap on her MySpace about how eeeevil the media is and how bad they make her look. As if she needs help in that department.

Monday, July 28, 2008
Stupid people of the press
Heres how stupid and inaccurate the media can be…
According to the press I didn’t show up to my brothers 18th birthday at the jail.
Lets see…
*hes in jail
*Its an important birthday…the big 18!!!
*I’m only a 4 hour drive to Tampa
*He’s the most important thing in my life.
They must have thought I didn’t show cause they didn’t SEE me. uhh…there’s such thing as a back door you jerks.
In conclusion…That goes to show you that you can’t believe anything you watch on TV or read in magazines. Cause people will make up BS without even knowing the facts. Hey Media! Why don’t you gather facts, check them, and then give the public the truth? That might work. Oh no…I forgot. You make too much money telling LIES.
Needless to say, I WAS there for my brother on his birthday because he is my best friend and NOTHING comes before family.

I don't care whether she was there or not. What I want to know is if Queen Nicky is anybody's boyfriend yet! Oh I hope they chola'd him out a la Celia in the 4th season of Weeds! Ha! The thought of Queen Nicky with sharpie eyebrows makes me happy.

Because of this, I used the Celia picture for this post. I just couldn't stomach another horsey picture of Brooke Hogan. I know everyone agrees!

Source and Picture Source

Brooke Hogan Says She's a Liar

Apparently man-woman Brooke Hogan signed something saying she agreed that her father Hulk Hogan beat on her mother, Linda, during her marriage. This paper was then used by Linda to get that restraining order on Hulk. (Remember? The one we heard about when she made the 911 call saying he was stalking her, but really, she was FOLLOWING HIM? Oh yeah.)

Anywho, Brooke is now saying she was lying when she signed that and her mother pressured her into it at a time when she was pissed at her dad.

Says Brooke: "I did it under significant pressure from my mother...It was only after I learned all the facts that I realized I made a big mistake in signing it."

Rumor also has it that she is icked out by the fact that her mother is cougared up with some 19-year-old kid who looks a lot like Queen Nicky, who is currently in jail and might get transferred to the adult side after this weekend. (Ha awesome!)

"I love my mother, and hope to one day reconcile with her," she says. "But using kids as pawns in a divorce is awful. Every day my mother resorts to this kind of behavior makes it that much harder for us to ever have a relationship again."

Whatever. I'm tired of her ass and they can all jump in the ocean and drown for all I care.

Source

Dumb Bitch!

Brooke Hogan has a show called Brooke Knows Best because she's the only Hogan with mroe than half a brain cell and because VH1 will give any dumbass their own show. Anywho, on the latest episode, she was interviewing some chick to be roommates with her. The chick asked her who she was voting for in the presidential election. This was her response: "You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?"

This ho needs bitch-slapped. Way to set women back a couple hundred years, ya dipshit.

God I hate this entire family. Why can't they OD on steriods and put me out of my misery?

Source

More Proof Hulk Hogan Freaks Me the Hell Out

One of these dykish blonde bitches is Brooke Hogan (Hulk's daughter) and the other is his girlfriend. Someone will have to tell me which is which because I cannot fucking tell. And that skeezes me out.

Source

Hogans Divorce Getting Nasty

Because these people suck, and I like reminding my 3 readers of this fact, here we go.

Linda Hogan is throwing a bitchfit that Terry is basically refusing to follow judges orders to continue to buy some real estate they were in the middle of buying when the whole divorce thing started. She wants his ass thrown in jail because when the day came to sign the paperwork, he was no where to be found.

"Hulk Hogan left his signature bandanna at home today, because it could clash with the orange jumpsuit a judge may force him to wear.

Hulk and soon-to-be-ex wife Linda were in court in Clearwater, Fla., as Mrs. H. asked hizzoner to hold her estranged hubby in contempt for failing to close on a $4.2 million Vegas condo.

As we first reported, Hulk wants to bail out on the deal — even if it means he loses his $840,000 deposit. Linda says they had an agreement to close on the condo and Hulk had no right to withhold the cash."

Apparently she wants somewhere to party with her toddler boyfriend. Who cares. Except maybe if Terry goes to the slammer they can put him next door to his pussy son Queeny Nick and they can cry like bitches together.

Source

Don Imus is Still a Bigot

They still let this idiot talk on radio? Who knew?

Anyway, his mouth got him in trouble again. On the morning show yesterday, they were talking about how many times Adam "Pacman" Jones has been arrested. Don asked "What color is he?" His sportscaster told him Jones was African-American and that genious of a douchebag replied with "Well, there you go. Now we know."

Of course now that people are pissed off at him, he's claiming that he didn't mean any biggotry by the comment. Riiight. He's claiming he meant that African-Americans get picked on by police because of the color of their skin. "What people should be outraged about is that they arrest blacks for no reason. I mean, there's no reason to arrest this kid six times."

Suuuure. When are they gonna fire this dipshit and send him to the old folks' home for biggoted old fucks? Seriously!

Source

Linda Hogan is that Special Kind of Stupid You Only Hear About...

So Linda has an order of protection against soon-to-be-ex-husband, the Orange Crusader, Hulk Hogan himself. He shows up at her house. She dials 911, he leaves. What does she do?

Linda: He’s been ordered away because he’s threatened my life before and I don’t want him around I’m shaking, I’m following him until he leaves.
911: Okay, you said he left, or he is leaving?
Linda: Yeah he left, I’m following him right now.
911: Why are you following him?
Linda: I don’t know
911: Stop following him!

That's right, you get in your car and follow him! Nevermind the fact that you claim he's made threats against your life and you're afraid of him. Follow his ass!

Okay to recap here: Queen Nicky is a heartless remorseless pussy who put his "best friend" into a vegetative state. Then daddy, Hulk, not only makes threats at Mom, but says the "best friend" who is in the vegetative state, had it coming because he is a "negative person." Besides the fact that mom is a flaming moron, she is also dating 19-year-olds. No wonder the daughter's show is called Brooke Knows Best. She is a flipping moron, but next to these other dumbasses, she looks like a frigging genious!

Why are people this dumb allowed on television?

Source

More Hate for the Orange People

In my continuting attempts to prove the orange Hogans are evil soulless bastards going to hell, I found this video today.

Now, big warning first: its an uncensored video of John Graziano's therapy. If you remember the picture I posted of the gap in his head from the accident caused by Queen Nicky's drunken attempt to prove how cool he is? That picture was apparently fuzzier than I thought because the gap in his head is much bigger and the video nearly made me cry. This boy used to be able-bodied enough to serve in the military. Now his eyes are open, but it doesn't seem like he sees anybody. This video is sad, and if it made my cold heart melt and almost bring me to tears, you know its bad. If you would like to see the video, go to my source.

Now, I have a good idea out of all of this. Someone sit Hulk on his orange leathery ass and make him watch this video. See if the fucker feels any remorse at all for saying John had it coming. Hell, even if he did feel remorse, I probably wouldn't feel any differently about him. These people make me sick.

Source

The Hogans Might Get Their Asses Kicked - Awesome!

I will give this guy a cookie if he kicks any of their orange asses.

AOL released a phone call from Frank Graziano to Hulk Hogan wherein Frank says some not-so-nice things about the Hulkster and his son, Queen Nicky.

You can check out the phone call here. Some radio dudes dicipher it because all the good words are beeped out. Basically he promises a lifetime of hurt and legal shit for Hulk Hogan and the entire soulless family. Which as far as Queen Nicky is concerned, is basically awesome. You can also hear Frank on a radio show in Tampa right here. He calls Queen Nicky "Nicole." Hee!

This makes me smile. Karma is a bitch, and someone give Frank a medal.

Source

Good God Will He STFU Already?!?!!

Nevermind the fact that dumbass needs to fire whoever let him leave the house with a bandana the same shade of putrid orange as his leather ass, I'm talking about Hulk Hogan's pathetic excuse for damage control again. The deapths of my dislike for these assholes knows no bounds.

In case you missed the show or don't care to wade through the bullshit, I thought I'd quote a few gems from the transcript at CNN.com as further proof that these people are wastes of skin.

H. HOGAN: Well, my gosh, if you rewind back to the original sentence from the judge, the judge sentenced Nick to eight months minimum security. And from the moment he was sentenced, he walked out of jail. And we were all thinking he would be in minimum security for eight months.

They took him straight to the mental part -- the mental ward of the hospital and put him in a very small padded cell. And from that padded cell, we worked all through that weekend -- because it was on a Friday, waited until the next week and we thought were having him moved to a better spot, but they moved him to a maximum security area, where most of the prisoners were altogether in cell with pods, and 10 or 15 prisoners per pod that they had the use of a phone and they could see a TV.

But Nick was moved to maximum security, but at the end of the hallway in a solitary confinement, so -- which is usually used for punishing hardened criminals.

Before anybody feels sorry for Queen Nicky, all this was because this was an adult's prison he was sentenced to, and he won't be 18 for several months and they were going to keep him in solitary until then for his own protection. Not that its going to get any safer when he's of age, but oh well.

KING: How did the drag racing occur, though?

H. HOGAN: Well, he precision drives. That's what he was doing for his career, the drifting situation. But, you know, the drag racing, we've got -- as far as the situation legally, we've got witnesses that say there was not drag racing. We've got one...

"Precision drives?" What the fuck. Call it what you like, but driving a car super-fast on city streets with the intention of getting somewhere faster than another douchebag driving fast on a city street is called DRAG RACING. ILLEGAL fucking drag racing at that. Shut the fuck up, Hulk.

Next!

HOGAN: In my mind, I believe they were not drag racing.

And in my mind, I have a pet unicorn and I am a personal assitant and nanny to Dame Goddess Angelina Jolie and personal footwasher since she's the size of a city and probably hasn't seen her feet since early in her second trimester. What's your point?

Stupid asses.

From taped phone conversation in regards to some reality show they wanna do:

HOGAN: Yes. OK, you want to do it with Pink Sneakers or you want to do it with someone else.
N. HOGAN: I want to do it where I will make the most money.

On Larry King:

HOGAN: I just wish that someone would play the two hours before, or the hour after, and please put everything into proper context.

How would the context change? What else could "I want to do it where I will make the most money" mean? Pretty fucking straight forward to me.

HOGAN: Like I said, this is in God's hand. Things happen for a reason. This is to make Nick a better person. In my belief, this is to make John a better person. It is like I said before, you know, it is god's will where we're at with this situation. I refuse to accept any negativity, any nay sayers. I firmly believe there is a plan. It is god's plan and god's will.

Because having part of your head gone and being in a semi-concious state will certainly make you "a better person."

These people have no soul. It is my belief that karma is a bitch, and she's gonna serve a pretty good smack-down on all these whores when the time comes.

Source

Hulk Hogan: "I Was Under a Lot of Pressure..."

Shut the hell up you orange bastard. Admit you raised two spoiled, nasty, idiot, orange children.

This is Daddy Hogan on Larry King Live with his mouthpiece lawyer whining about how the taped phone conversations between Queen Nicky and his mommy and daddy were released to the public. He tries claiming that the statements he himself made stating John Graziano basically got what he deserved were "taken out of context." What the fuck? In case anybody forgot, John is a supposed "friend" to the Hogan family who is now in a semi-comatose state and MISSING PART OF HIS HEAD because Queen Nicky got faded and raced his penis-replacement sports car and wrecked it with John as his passenger. According to Queen Nicky, John is a "negative person."

Hulk basically made the family look a million times worse. Good damage control! Way to be!

Source

This is Not the Type of Rape I Had in Mind

Statutory rape is boring. He'd enjoy that shit too much.

Anyways, Nick Hogan got a letter from some chick in Florida named Stephanie Ragusa, a teacher who is charged "with lewd or lascivious battery and unlawful sexual activity with a minor." She wanted to extend her support to Queen Nicky. And by "extend her support" she means "extend her hand to his pee pee."

From AP: The letter was intercepted by Pinellas County sheriff's deputies after they recognized Ragusa's name, the jail's return address and her docket number on the envelope, authorities said. Bollea, who is serving an eight-month sentence on a charge of reckless driving with serious bodily injury, was later given a copy of the letter.Ragusa, 29, is facing charges of lewd or lascivious battery and unlawful sexual activity with a minor.

What's funny is they got the letter, checked it out, but still gave a copy to Queen Nicky. Ha! Don't know why I find that amusing, but I do.

Source

God Was Listening After All!

So as a "result of ongoing assessments of inmate situations" Queen Nicky Hogan got moved to a cell with other juviniles. Meaning: he has roommates! Let the butt-raping begin! Woo!

That bitch is really gonna cry now!

Source

More Evidence of Nick Hogan's Pussy-ness

So King Pussy, well QUEEN Pussy Nick Hogan got denied by the court to spend part of his sentence at home in a freaking huge-ass mansion. I guess they figured that wasn't a fitting punishment for driving drunk, wrecking his car, and thus giving his "best friend" permanent brain damgage wherein he is now not responsive to light in his eyes or the voices of his parents. God, what assholes! It was just a car accident!

Anywho, in response to his bitching, the Sheriff's department where he is being jailed has released photos of a cell exactly like the one that Nick is being kept in. Remember him literally crying at his mother about how there's not even a window in his cell? Turns out he's a lying pussy. I know, I'm not shocked either.

The sheriff's office also released Nick's schedule:

Morning Breakfast: Approx. 3:30 a.m. in the cell

Working away from the cell in Inmate Property Section: Approximately 8:00 - 2:00 p.m. No work on Saturday and Sunday

Lunch: Approx. 10:30 a.m. - in the Inmate Property Section

Visitation: 3:00 p.m - 4:00 p.m., Tuesday, Friday and Sunday at Video Visitation booth on the floor, down the hall from his cell.

Dinner: Approx. 4:00 p.m. in the cell

Daily activities where Bollea is out of his cell also include; Attorney visits, recreation (1 hour), several daily telephone calls

Other services available to Bollea: Inmate library books are delivered, Chaplain services, inmate mail, law library materials are available by request, commissary items."

It doesn't exactly sound like a vacation, but it's JAIL. It could be a lot worse. He could be in general population, where part of his activities include being the teabaggee to a rather large, tattooed individual named Judd.

So it's safe to say I still think Nick Hogan sucks and I'm going to call him Queen Nicky from now on. Queen Nicky of the Douchebags! Yes, I like it.

Source

Court to Nick Hogan: Grow a Pair, Pussy!

Nick Hogan's request to serve part of his sentence at home with his mommy has been denied. His ass is still in jail. I dunno what he's bitching about. If I was that much of a pansy, I'd be damn grateful to be in solitary. Because you know there are some dudes in jail who would like to make Nicky their girlfriend. And I would pay money to see that.

In other news, John Graziano still has irreparable brain damage. So yeah. Nick does not, in case you were wondering. He's just a douchebag.

Source

The Hogans Suck

Yeah I posted this old picture of The Hoff in drag because I think it's a more pleasant image than looking at that plastic surgery mess that is the Hogan Family. Sorry for any confusion, and giggle at bad drag for a moment before continuing.

Anyways. If you have forgotten, on August 26, 2007, douchbag son, Nick Hogan managed to royally fuck up his car, and not die. He did however, have a friend in the car. John Graziano, marine and Iraqi war veteran, suffered massive head injuries and has been in a coma ever since the accident. Initially, the family of John said it was fine if the Hogans wanted to trample their fake-in-bake tanned asses in to visit at the hospital, but apparently, they have now axed that.

According to the St. Petersburg Times: Linda, Brooke and Nick Bollea are no longer welcome at the hospital bedside of John Graziano. That's because the trio went to the hospital on Valentine's Day with gifts, and images of their arrival showed up on celebrity news Web sites, the Graziano family's attorneys said Wednesday. "We believe that it was a total (public relations) stunt," said attorney Kimberley Kohn."

"Bollea" is the legal last name for the Hogans if you didn't know. Yeah, I'd totally want my last name to be Hogan too. Not.

Also, they are getting sued:

Whether a lawsuit will be filed in the wreck is a question of when, not if, the family's attorneys said. The family faces "astronomical" costs to care for Graziano in the future, attorneys said. "We've tried very hard to avoid a circus atmosphere, which is very hard in this case," attorney George Tragos said."

So yeah. It's safe to say I think these people suck. I hope the family wins big time.

Proof that Nickelback Really Does Suck...Literally

This mental image creeped me out for the rest of the damn day, so I'm sharing it with all of you so we can share a bottle of Brain Bleach.

Chad Kroeger of shitty Canadian band Nickelback recently told some reporter that he can suck his own penis.

"I put my own dick in my mouth. I was 14 and much more flexible at the time. It was soft and required a lot of pulling. I really wanted that case of beer."

Proving that he is forever college frat boy idol forever, and also, that he is a douchebag. Ew. Seriously. My day is ruined.