Random Acts of Crap

Chestica Simpson still singing country music and still sucking at it. - IDLYITW

In spite of his claims, P. Diddy Puff Daddy whateverhisnameis does not in fact, own his own private jet. - What Would Tylder Durden Do?

In more Chestica Simpson news, apparently the fans are allowing her to go to Dallas Cowboy games to cheer on her bribed boyfriend Tony Romo on one condition - she not wear a Cowboy's jersey. Goodie. - The Superficial

Is Sam Ronson gonna make Lezzy Lohan an honest lesbian? - DListed

Pamela Anderson says she is absolutely NOT dating Michael Jackson. Thank God for small favors. - Holy Moly

Random Acts of Crap

Chestica Simpson plays the Grand Ole Opry. Country fans still thinks she sucks, and also now thinks she dresses slutty. Well, duh. Just because she changed genres doesn't mean she still isn't gonna air out the ol' funbags. - IDLYITW

How much are the Hulgan's worth? Who cares, they're still all orange freak douchebags. - In Case You Didn't Know

Here's a rundown of the VMA's last night, in case you didn't give a shit. Don't ask me what happened because I didn't actually read any of this. - IDLYITW

Russia hates South Park. Apparently they have no sense of humor. - MollyGood

Twins for Ashlee and Pete Wentzy? - DListed

Random Acts of Crap

Remember that random cocktail waitress that George Clooney dated? That chick that nobody knew who the fuck she was and had NO career until Clooney started doing her and basically GAVE her said career? She apparently cheated on George. Way to say 'thank you,' nameless cocktail waitress chick. - The Superficial

Lezzy Lohan and her dad the famewhore are still at it via MySpace and the media. - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Axl Rose wants to fuck Kelly Osbourne. Ew. Poor Kelly. - HolyMoly

Chestica Simpson is still epically failing at country music. - DListed

Random Acts of Crap

Chestica Simpson wants to sell you beer. - The Superficial

Lezzy Lohan sideboob. - IDLYITW

Lilly Allen is punching people. - What Would Tylder Durden Do?

Gwen Stefani is in the hospital for a scheduled C-Section today. FINALLY. I wondered if they were gonna wait until the kid was in middle school or something. - DListed

Amy Winehouse is NOT going to rehab. Because that is a good idea. - Celebitchy

Chestica Gets Booed

If you care, Chestica Simpson made a country album and said she was "planning on making country [music] for the rest of my life" like she was awesome at it or something. However, as we all know, that is not the case. And we don't even have to hear her songs to know this.

She played a show in Wisconsin and the crowd sure let her know.

Skepticism was elevated hours before Jessica Simpson's debut country performance, opening for Sara Evans, Saturday night at Country Thunder. With only one country single released, fans doubted if the pop diva could stack up against other country music acts. "Just because she's dating Tony Romo it doesn't make her country," said Mike Rodriguez, 31, from Lake Geneva. "She doesn't fit in with country, and I'll have to drink a lot of beer to sit through her concert." Zach Schlodt, 19, of Palatine, Ill., agreed.", Simpson's heart isn't in country music, and she is just banking on the genre's current popularity, he said. "She's an embarrassment to country music," he added...One man summed her performance up in a single word. "It's crap," said Ryan Sia, 28, from East Troy. "She doesn't belong here."

Well that about sums it up! The last guy was the best. I'll bet somewhere Papa Joe is just steaming mad that he didn't manage to buy off these people pre-show.

Source

Random Acts of Crap

Dame Goddess Angelina Jolie is in hospital in France. But according to her doctor, the twins are not here yet. Twinwatch continues! - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Ashlee Wentzy's preggo boobies. - The Superficial

Chestica Simpson takes Tony Romo and his parents to Olive Garden. Wow. Way to break the bank. - Celebitchy

Seriously? A Friends movie? Who is gonna go see that crap? - DListed

Is this Michael Lohan's love child? - What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Rose McGowan broke up Robert Rodriguez' marriage, and now she's dumping him. - IDLYITW

Ashlee and Pete Wentzy are having a boy. - DListed

Madonna and A-Rod allegedly screwing - he even visited her the same night his wife gave birth. - The Superficial

BUT Madonna and Guy Ritchie totally not getting a divorce. See? They went to dinner AND held hands so they are still sooooo in love. - DListed

PETA Hates Chestica Simpson

Yeah who cares. But she wore that dumb shirt and now the animal terrorists are pissed off.

Basically they call her stupid which is amusing, but she's not dumb because of her shirt or because she eats meat, in spite of what they think.

But because I feel like humoring the stupid, here are their reasons:

1. Meat increases the risk of breast cancer.

2. Real girls don't support animal abuse.

3. The meat industry is destroying the Earth.

4. Meat will make you fat.

5. Eating meat steals food from starving kids.

Meh. Anything PETA says I take with a grain of salt since it's run by terrorists. I am not even joking. Actual quote from Ingrid Newkirk, president of PETA:

Six million people died in concentration camps, but six billion broiler chickens will die this year in slaughterhouses. [emphasis added]- The Washington Post (November 13, 1983)

Charming, eh? Here's another:

Our nonviolent tactics are not as effective. We ask nicely for years and get nothing. Someone makes a threat, and it works.- US News & World Report (April 8, 2002)

So yes me calling PETA a terrorist organization isn't far off. The federal government needs to look into them!

No I don't particularly respect Chestica Simpson. But it has nothing to do with a retarded t-shirt. It's because she's a mindless bimbo who blindly does what daddy bids her and sets women back about 80 years in evolution.

Off the soapbox, back to bitching!

Source

Chestica Simpson is a Whore

Well, duh. Apparently Sean William Scott has said the reason he and Nick Lachey do not get along is because he fucked Chestica during the filming of Dukes of Hazzard.

From what he said to some radio show:
DJ Whoo Kid: I heard you had beef with Nick Lachey, man.
Stifler: Oh, 'cause I fucked Jessica Simpson?
[Assorted OH!'s, DAMN's, That is WACK!'s]
Stifler: No, but I did!
DJ Whoo Kid: One rumor out da way!

Since she also allegedly did the herpes-king Johnny Knoxville while filming the same movie, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say she's sort of a whore. How many other dudes did she cheat on Lachey with? These two douches and Adam Levine are on my list so far...

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Simpson-Wentzy Shiz

Just want to get this news out of the way in one post since these freaks are related.

Pete Wentzy confirmed on his bassist's website that he and Ashlee are expecting. Duh.

"While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child. This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family."

Whatever. That poor kid is screwed already.

In other Simpson family stupidity, apparently Chestica and Tony Romo are really still together. Tony just has one big stipulation: that Papa Joe mind his own damn business.

A source tells The Chicago Sun-Times: "'He did agree to go to Ashlee's wedding -- keeping his promise to Jessica. But he made it super-clear that if they were to give it another go, her dad had to seriously back off.''

Apparently someone didn't read the contract he signed allowing him to get with the favorite Simpson daughter - Papa Joe can do whatever the hell he wants.

Hey Tony - don't look in the closet next time you and Boobs are doing the nasty. You know Papa Joe totally sits in there with a tissue and bottle of baby oil. I'm just saying!

Source and Source

They Overpaid for this Trash

TMZ is reporting that Ashlee and Pete Wentzy made $1.4 million for their wedding photos being on the cover of People magazine. Well let's be honest here - that was Papa Joe who pocketed that cash. Anywho, the cover was contingent on one thing: Chestica and her newly ex-boyfriend Tony Romo showed up. So Papa Joe had to split that cash with Romo so he'd show up.

But that's why there's that lovely drunken photo of Chestica in an inlet picture. People apparently give a shit about her, but nobody cares about Ashlee and her Emo Bride.

Color me shocked.

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It's a Nice Day for a White Wedding...

You know it's a slow GD weekend when all there is to talk about is the wedding of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentzy. Yeah, that was a typo but I'm leaving it. It amuses me.

According to OK Magazine: Around noon on Saturday, the groom arrived via limo at the Encinco, Calif., home of Ashlee's dad Joe Simpson, who also officiated over the non-denominational ceremony under white tents.Big sis Jess, who arrived with on-off beau Tony Romo before noon in the Employee of the Month star's Range Rover, was maid of honor. According to reports, Pete's bulldog Hemingway served as ring-bearer.

Poor Tony. Papa Joe must've paid his ass.

Also according to OK: One wedding VIP who definitely won't be boozing it up tonight is the bride, who sources tell OK! finally revealed her pregnancy to everyone at the reception. Weeks ago, OK! was the first to report that the couple were expecting a baby — a story that both Ashlee and Pete danced around on talk shows and in interviews.

Yeah who cares. Pete is in for hell. According to Nick Lachey, Papa Joe is the reason his marriage to Chestica bombed. He also ruined her relationship with Tony Romo. Bet Pete's glad he jumped on this bandwagon.

Source, Source and Source

Color Me Shocked

So apparently Papa Joe is not only the king of creepy, but the king of ruining his daughter's relationship to football players. Rumor has it that when Papa Joe started "to offer unsolicited advice to Tony on his career, endorsement opportunities and things that have nothing to do with him dating Jessica" Tony decided to hit the road. It also didn't help that Chestica was blabbing about Tony being "her future husband" in a magazine interview. Apparently that was news to Tony.

However, sources are now claiming that Romo is still gonna propose, they're just in a "rough patch." Right. Says Fox News: Every couple has their problems; we're hoping that they'll have a break and work it all out," said the source. So while Romo's initial matrimonial plans seem to have been put on the back burner for the time being, the estranged duo are apparently still "talking." Calls to Simpson's rep were not returned. But what exactly are these "differences" that are causing chaos for the couple? For one, 28-year-old Romo reportedly still has a roommate and loves his freedom while Jess has already been married and divorced and has made it clear she wants to be a mom soon. "Jessica has made no secret of the fact she wants to get married, and with all the Ashlee wedding talk and Jess' dad's involvement, Tony was obviously feeling it," another source said. "I wouldn't be surprised if he just couldn't go through with the proposal and that's what's caused the break."

And by the "source" they mean Papa Joe considering he's been begging Romo to still go with Chestica to Ashlee's wedding this weekend.

Sad.

Source and Source

Chestica Not Only Probably Dumped, But Really Bad in Bed

No picture because Blogger needs it's head examined too.

So according to an email sent to the hos at The Superficial, Tony Romo not only dumped Chestica whilst drunk, he also humiliated her and made fun of her skills in the sack.

From the email: Tony Romo was in town, and he was bar hopping with some buddies of his from Chicago. He had the nerve to put Jessica on speakerphone and talk about their sex life with all his guys listening and laughing at her. Not only is this girl dumb, but she is completely self conscious about her bedroom skills. After a few too many drinks, he told everyone he and Jessica are over. They are taking a "break." He could never see himself being serious and marrying this girl. He's just having fun with her. It's funny everyone is talking about them getting married when they are completely over. Sorry Jessica, Tony had his fun with you, and now is on to bigger and better things.

Yes, bigger and better things. Because he's so fucking mature that he does that to a woman. Yes, she is dumb. We get it. But no reason to fucking humiliate the bitch in front of your drunken retarded buddies. God what an asshole.

Anyways I'm gonna stop since I just realized I'm now standing up for Big Boobs Simpson. First Britney Spears, now this? I need my head examined. Be back soon!

Chestica Might be Dumped on Her Ass

Rumor has it that Chestica Simpson's football boyfriend might have dumped her. Wow, just in time for Ashlee and Pete's "secret" wedding this weekend! Coinsidence? Fuck no.

Tony Romo had a bachelor-style hard partying weekend in the Windy City these past couple of days and now we know why. We exclusively have learned that Romo and girlfriend Jessica Simpson have broken up! Romo partied with several of his college buddies from his alma mater Eastern Illinois over the weekend and he told them on Saturday night that him and Simpson were on the outs. “They’re broken up,” according to a pal of the Dallas Cowboys quarterback. “He told us they broke up and that was that. We’re guys so we didn’t talk about it much.”

Whatever he was tired of her ass. The end.

Papa Joe Still Creeps Me Out

Papa Joe Simpson could cure AIDS and save a litter of kittens from a burning building and I'd still call him a creepy pedophile. That's just me, though. He said some shit to In Touch magazine to make him look better, but as usual it just made him look like a giant douche.

On the Brit Spears mess: "I would never let that happen to my daughters. Hopefully, her family will take care of the situation."

Yeah, I'm sure you wouldn't.

On Chestica desicrating a decent musician with her herpes: "They are good for each other.

Unlike Nick, John already has an established career, so Jessica doesn't have to compete with him."

He's talking about John Mayer. I keep hoping one day John will wake up, look over, and realize he's dating a total vapid headcase and run screaming for the hills. Seriously. He has talent, she has boobs. That's about it. I'd like to think John needs more than that in a woman. Like a brain. That would be important to ME, but hey.