They Overpaid for this Trash

TMZ is reporting that Ashlee and Pete Wentzy made $1.4 million for their wedding photos being on the cover of People magazine. Well let's be honest here - that was Papa Joe who pocketed that cash. Anywho, the cover was contingent on one thing: Chestica and her newly ex-boyfriend Tony Romo showed up. So Papa Joe had to split that cash with Romo so he'd show up.

But that's why there's that lovely drunken photo of Chestica in an inlet picture. People apparently give a shit about her, but nobody cares about Ashlee and her Emo Bride.

Color me shocked.

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Who Cares?

Pete Wentzy told Ryan Gaycrest that he and new wife Ashlee Simpson spent their honeymoon in the basement. But they didn't, they went to the Carribean. Jokes on us! Too bad nobody gives a shit about Douche and his Douchey wife!

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Being Married to Pete Wentz is Awesome

Oh yeah, it sounds like Ashlee's having a ball thus far. Nothing like a husband who calls radio stations and tells all your business. What a catch!

Pete Wentzy called up Ryan Gaycrest's radio show this morning to talk about his wedding and shit. He had lots to say.

On his new wifey: "legally [Ashley] is a Wentz ... I don't know what she'll do with her stage name, that's up to her. She hasn't decided that." He also goes on to say they signed a prenup. How romantic.

Also romantic? They're not having a formal honeymoon yet. They're hanging out in the basement. Seriously. "We got some blow-up palm trees. A little fake-n-bake tanning booth." Well Ashlee's starting to get fat, and Papa Joe wants to capitalize on that shit, and he hasn't figured out how yet since nobody wants to pay the retarded amounts of money he wants to get the "exclusive" on her and the kid.

Speaking of the kid, Gaycrest asked about that too. Wentzy was a little testy: "Ryan, this baby has not been confirmed. The only thing I'm confirming now is that we're in the basement on our honeymoon with these blow-up palm trees." Pissy bitch! His guyliner must be out and Papa Joe won't let him out of the basement to hit up Walgreen's.

What a romantic couple, these two.

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It's a Nice Day for a White Wedding...

You know it's a slow GD weekend when all there is to talk about is the wedding of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentzy. Yeah, that was a typo but I'm leaving it. It amuses me.

According to OK Magazine: Around noon on Saturday, the groom arrived via limo at the Encinco, Calif., home of Ashlee's dad Joe Simpson, who also officiated over the non-denominational ceremony under white tents.Big sis Jess, who arrived with on-off beau Tony Romo before noon in the Employee of the Month star's Range Rover, was maid of honor. According to reports, Pete's bulldog Hemingway served as ring-bearer.

Poor Tony. Papa Joe must've paid his ass.

Also according to OK: One wedding VIP who definitely won't be boozing it up tonight is the bride, who sources tell OK! finally revealed her pregnancy to everyone at the reception. Weeks ago, OK! was the first to report that the couple were expecting a baby — a story that both Ashlee and Pete danced around on talk shows and in interviews.

Yeah who cares. Pete is in for hell. According to Nick Lachey, Papa Joe is the reason his marriage to Chestica bombed. He also ruined her relationship with Tony Romo. Bet Pete's glad he jumped on this bandwagon.

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Papa Joe About to Cash In

Supposedly second-favorite-Simpson-daughter Ashlee and her fiance Pete Wentz are set to do the wedding thing on May 16th, which is next week.

According to Hollyscoop: A source close to the couple has told Hollyscoop exclusively, "The wedding invitations have been sent out, its taking place the weekend of May 16. The location will not be revealed until the day of the wedding but guests are told it will be an hour drive from Los Angeles."Our source also confirmed that Ashlee is 100% pregnant. Papa Joe is probably busy selling off the wedding info and pictures as we speak so expect to see it in the tabloids Memorial weekend.

Well of course he is. That's his fatherly duty. Sell off his daughter's happy day to the highest bidder. This is the same dumbass who put his favorite daughter's wedding on a reality tv show. And SHE was the favorite! Imagine what Ashlee's in for!

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Papa Joe Hasn't Learned His Lesson

Apparently Papa Joe Simpson missed out on the reason why his older [favorite] daughter's marriage went belly-up. That damn MTV reality show she and Nick did basically shit on that. But who cares, right? It's not your daughter's happiness that counts here. It's how much money they can make you! So in that spirit, he's been annoying MTV about making a second Newlyweds show starring Ashlee and Pete. Wow, he's even naming it the same? That's freaking retarded.

Says a source: “He knows that no one cared about Jessica before her reality show, and he’s hoping a show for Ashlee will have the same effect."

Yeah her new CD debuted at number 4 on the Billboards and I guess it's her first album not to debut at number one. Papa Joe apparently doesn't realize the obvious truth in this: nobody cares about his damn kids anymore. No reality show is going to change that.

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Model Father.

Pete Wentz is the freaking model for father of the year, right? Ugh.

Asslee Simpson was on Ellen Degeneres' show and once again danced around the preggo question, but still managed to be vague enough so she can keep cashing in on this rumor as much as possible.

According to People, Asslee says: "Well, that has been going on for quite a while. That is something that I choose personally not to discuss. Do I look like I had 10 cheeseburgers or something? Because I don't think I do."

Dumb bitch, shut up.

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Papa Joe Simpson is Delusional

Apparently Papa Joe Perv has been shopping around to various magazines the exclusive rights to talk to daughter Ashlee about her pregnancy, and later the rights to the first pictures of the offspring. His asking price? One million dollars. The magazines were less than enthusiastic.

Page Six: The deal would include photos of Ashlee - taken by Joe, of course, so he can make more money - an interview and photos of the baby when she has it," our source said. Sadly, there is some interest - but not for anything close to $1 million. One magazine editor said the pictures would fetch "$60,000 maybe - but definitely not a million. The timing is a little suspicious. Her album ['Bittersweet World'] is dropping next week, and there was little to no interest until now. Ashlee's lucky she got pregnant, frankly." But even with the marriage announcement, "Joe has an unrealistic expectation of what Ashlee can command," the editor said."

"Lucky she got pregnant" eh? I'm getting a sicky ew ew feeling. I'm going to go pour bleach on my eyeballs now.

Another Knocked Up Ho

Over the last week or so, rumors have been floating around that Ashlee Simpson is knocked up. Her fiance, Pete Wentz pitched a faux-emo fit saying in part: “There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood...."

Then Ashlee went on MTV and bascially tap-danced around the question. But according to People magazine:

Ashlee Simpson is pregnant and plans to get married next month at a private residence in Southern California, a source close to her family tells PEOPLE.Simpson, 23, is engaged to Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz, 28, who initially blasted pregnancy rumors as a "witch hunt."But on Tuesday, Simpson, sidestepped the rumors during an interview with MTV after taping TRL in New York, saying simply, "Some things you want to keep personal."And now the source tells PEOPLE that not only is Simpson pregnant, but that she's planning to have her wedding in May at a friend's house in La Jolla, Calif., north of San Diego.

BUT a very reliable un-named source who reports to WWTDD.com states that they know for certain that Ashlee is VERY definately knocked up.

However I ask you: do you give a shit? Because I sure don't. Next!

Asslee Simpson News

I know it's been a while since I talked about the other Simpson ho, so here goes. Bitch is marrying Pete Wentz. I seriously cannot see that name without remembering those horrible cameraphone pictures of him playing with his little Wentz. Ew! Nightmares!

Anyways, Asslee made a statement: We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best. Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes - it means the world to us. We consider this to be a very private matter, but we wanted you to hear it straight from us."

Papa Joe Perv pulled his face out of Chestica's ass long enough to say "Ashlee who?" Heh. Not really.

From DListed: Papa Joe confirmed to People and said he's "totally happy" and "so excited to have Pete as part of (our) family."

Pete was paid. I guess bitch has an album coming out. Timing folks! I didn't even know she was still singing. I thought all the 12-year-olds worshipped Myley Syrus now. I guess I'm out of the fucking loop, I dunno.