Chestica Still Sings?

I thought all bitch did anymore was whine about the husband she dumped having a life, shake her ass in crappy movies and fuck random men. Heh. Fooled me.

Well, Chestica Simpson has her new single out on some website. And by "new" I mean "beat ripped off from everything that Madonna recorded in the 80's." It could be worse though. It could be that Stars are Blind shit that Parisite Hilton released. That was some garbage.

Click the title of this post if you'd like to subject yourself to stupidity.

My Daily Amusement - This Job Would be Great if it Weren't For the F*%#ing Customers

The movie making GOD that is Kevin Smith is releasing a sequel to his masterpiece, Clerks this summer. Clerks II got an EIGHT MINUTE standing ovation at Cannes this summer. This shit is awesome. Here is a preview for your enjoyment. I will be worshipping at my combo Kevin Smith/Quentin Tarantino shrine if you need me.

Chestica Got a Nose Job?

Looks like Chestica jumped on the bandwagon with little sis Ashlee and got herself a new nose. Both girls looked fine before. It's not their faces that need the work.

Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake NOT Broken Up

So the couple is saying they are NOT broken up. Whatever. I still say she looks stinky, and she's an ingrate.

Photographer Arrested for Being Creepy

A photographer jumped a fence to a daycare's playground to snap pictures of Maddox Jolie-Pitt. A teacher saw him, and did a citizen's arrest.

Now, in this day and age, what possessed the photographer to think this would be okay???? I know if I was that teacher, I'd be thinking "What a fucking pervert taking pictures of little kids! He probably wants to come back and kidnap one of them!"

Also, if she'd of given him the chance, you know Maddox would've totally whooped that dude's ass. He's bad like that.

Lohan and Hilton Slapfight?

One of the readers over at DListed emailed Michael K and said she witnessed a slapfight between Lindsay Lohan and Parisite Hilton. It went something like this:

I was at Bungalow on Friday and both Lindsay and Paris were there. I couldn't believe it but, Paris attacked Lindsay. I can't believe this hasn't made it onto any of the blogs, but i swear it happened. I didnt see the actual punch, but my friend heard the yelling and them getting pulled apart

Later that night I heard Lindsay speaking to one of her friends and saying 'that bitch fucking hit me, like im bruised' but other then that was pretty mature about it saying 'i just wanna get the fuck away from her'.

It was almost closing and Lindz was on a very long trip to the bathroom to 'change' when Paris's table started yelling shit at Lindz's. table. They said 'the night was fucking over, why dont you just go home' while paris just sat there like an idiot saying nothing and grinning. Then her table all got up marched out, yelling 'firecrotch' on their way out.

You know I'm not Lohan's greatest fan or anything, but she comes out on top on all this. Parisite is pretty fucking retarded, and all.

Britney Goes Emo

It appears Britney Spears has followed husband KFed to NYC. It also appears that she has dyed her hair black. And slap me if you want, but I actually like it. I do!

Madonna Runs Guy from Her Bed

Before you make creepy assumptions about certain crotchal areas, it's because apparently, Madonna has been refusing to turn on the air conditioning, and Guy Richie, her hubby, can't sleep in suffocating heat. Don't blame him there.

I know Madonna's been making her venues turn off the air. When my Dad went to the show in Chicago, he said it was stiffling, and if he hadn't paid a small fortune for the tickets, he would've left. I like Maddy and all, but this opens her up to lawsuits if a fan passes out or gets sick or something. She claims the cold is bad for her voice, but she's been performing for so long, and surely the a/c hasn't hurt her so far.

My Daily Amusement - KFed is Still a Moron

Some people want to save the whales. Or the endangered big cats of Africa. Or the rainforests we so desperately need on this planet. Or stop the poluting of our beautiful oceans.

Not our KFed. He wants to save the penny. That, and he's a shit public speaker.



I wonder if he actually checks "his" text messages? Because I'm totally sending him one that says "Fuck saving pennies. Save Britney. Stop spending her money, you redneck!"

Justin Timberlake Dumps Cameron Diaz on Her Ass

Apparently, Justin Timberlake just read that article that talked about how much of a bitch Cameron Diaz is to her fans, because rumor has it that he dumped her ass.

"Justin Timberlake has shown Cameron Diaz the door, so he can sow his wild oats. The hit-making horndog axed his love of three years because, "he's poised to leave on a world tour and he wants to be free," says veteran gossip Janet Charlton. She says Timberlake made his decision after he and his pals went on a stag weekend to Las Vegas and Cameron "went chasing after him. She was just too clingy." Diaz, said to be "devastated," has had bad luck before. Her past flames include Matt Dillon and Jared Leto."

Aw, sucks to be her. Oh well. I never thought they were that cute together anyway. She smells like body odor, and he's kinda cute. If only he had married Britney Spears, we might have been spared the mess that is her and KFed right now.

SPF Humors His Mother

Britney Spears claims her son Sean Preston loves watching old videos of her when she was hot shaking her ass in the skimpy clothes.

She said: "When my son sees me dance, he lights up."

Really, Sean just feels sorry for his mommy since she's married to a fucking retard.

Hasselhoff is a Drunk

Currently, The Hoff is facing charges that he drunkenly beat the crap out of his wife. Keeping that in mind, he recently sang at some function in Berlin, where he slurred through his set, and his people had to put the lyrics to his music at key places onstage for him to read off of, because his ass was so sloshed he couldn't remember the words to his shitty music!

There's some video at the link when you click the title of this post. I don't have the stomach for Hoff right now, so watch if you want and let me know how it was. Man, I really don't even have the stomach for that picture I used, but I cannot fathom the idea of Googling more pictures of David Hasselhoff.

Scott Stapp Cries, Nobody Cares

He did this whole song and dance last year. Then he got beat up by 311 (which was awesome!). Then he got arrested at an airport all drunk and coked out. Then some really disgusting sex tape was released of him and Kid Rock getting head on a tour bus.

Now he's got another CD coming out, so he's "coming clean." Gimmie a break. I give him a week on tour, and he'll be passing out onstage again. Just like the old days.

Madonna and I Laugh at Mariah Carey

Apparently, Mariah Carey has been canceling shows. Rumor has it that the reason is because ticket sales sucked big time.

Also, the rumor is that Madonna "laughed hysterically" when she heard that. And really, so did I. Who the hell cares about Mariah Carey? Really?

Of course, Madonna is denying that, and denying that they have a fued going on. Because when you're Madonna, someone as low on the totem pole as Mariah really doesn't bother you. But I still say she probably laughed.

Mariah's spokeswhores are trying to say they canceled shows at small venues so they could book bigger ones. Yeah, if you can't fill a tiny theater, chances are, you really aren't going to fill an arena. Seriously.

Yeah, I'm a total bitch today, but dammit, Maddy may be a bitch too, but I love her. Her and her old stinky purple leotards.

Jesse James Looks Hot, Sandra Wearing Questionable Dress

Usually I bow at the feet of Sandra Bullock, but I am just not digging the dress.

As usual, Jesse James looks like hot sex. No matter what he's wearing.

Apparently they're going to be celebrating their one-year wedding anniversary next month. Congrats to them!!

Tom Cruise is Still a Douche

In case you forgot, he's still around, and he's still a douche.

This picture is Tom Cruise arriving to some promo in Tokyo for that movie we've all now forgotten about because it sucked.

He told the press: "I remember my whole life, I wanted to be a father. So I’m hoping maybe I have 10 children.”

Because his two adopted kids don't count, right? Also, if he doesn't produce a baby picture soon, I'm pretty much writing off Suri as something he imagined up and is convinced exists, when really, she doesn't. Katie-Kate just pretends to be breastfeeding to make him feel better, so he doesn't get upset and cry.

It's All Fake

Apparently, even though Britney Spears told Matt Lauer that her marriage to KFed was "awesome" and "really good," it really isn't.

The couple recently went on vacation in Florida — but they reportedly stayed in separate rooms. Spears and K-Fed spent a whopping $250,000 for a getaway on Aqua Island, according to the upcoming issue of In Touch Weekly, which reports that except for a very public romp on the beach with their 10-month-old son, the two steered pretty clear of each other. In fact, Spears rented two houses so they didn't have to stay together. "She did it to get away from Kevin," a "friend" told the mag."

This is the same trip wherein KFed went out, DJ'ed at some club, drank Cristal, and farted around and DID NOT do anything for any children's charities.

Why is it so important to Britney for the public to think her marriage is okie dokie? He's a redneck piece of shit. We know it, she knows it. Frankly, her approval rating would skyrocket if she dumped this dude.

My Daily Amusement - You Know How I Know Ryan Seacrest is Gay?

I just DO!

Here's a Picture of Some Hookers

Well, actually it's the Pussycat Dolls. And if you don't know who they are, they are basically professional lip-syncers who dress like hookers.

I'd like to know who thinks these chicks are hot. Because no guy I know would get his dick near any of them.

Especially this bitch:



She'd bite it off!

Ryan Seacrest is a Bottom

Or, at least that's what I think. That's just the vibe I get.

Anyways, apprently, he claims to not be gay. This is what he said to Vince Vaughn:

"Dude, I'm totally into girls... but you're at the top of my hump island when it comes to guys!"

Uh, straight dudes don't have "hump islands." And Jennifer Aniston is going to kick your ass. And I want to watch.

Lohan Fights Everybody

So apparently Lohan was out at a New York bar called Butter which was full of people, and she went to the bathroom, where she had an argument with Parisite Hilton. Those bitches hate each other, and they need to have it out in a pool full of jello, already.

Anyways, when she returned to her table, she entered into a whole new drama with Diddy:

After having words, Lohan returned to her table to find that hip-hop mogul Diddy had been seated with her group. She kidded with him, asking what he was doing at her table. "He didn't realize she was joking," says a source, "and he then yelled at her and told her to get out." Diddy "was really mean to her," says another source, who claims one of Puffy's bodyguards lifted up Lindsay, and the rapper himself got into a scuffle with a Lohan pal who defended her.

Geez, apparently Diddy can't get a joke. So serious! It's Lohan, for god's sake. She weighs all of 90 pounds, and she's just a shitty actress. No need to get all huffy over her.

HAPPY 24th BIRTHDAY PRINCE WILLIAM!!!

You hot royal shit, you.

Britney Murphy New Voice for Tinkerbell

Which means Tinkerbell is now going to be a ditzy blonde who has sex with Eminem in car factories.

Look at her face! Her lips are so chock full o' collogen they look PAINFUL. And she's botoxed all to hell! I thought she used to be hot!

Are Perry the Manny's Days Numbered??

The best thing to happen to Britney Spears since silicon boob inplants may be getting his ass fired. Apparently, he's too much man for her redneck husband, KFed.

Kevin Federline has told Britney Spears to sack her new bodyguard - because he fears the pair are getting too close.

The singer recently enlisted the services of Perry Taylor, a 28-year-old US Naval Academy graduate, to protect her and her son, Sean Preston, when she goes out.

At first there was speculation Perry was actually a male nanny after he was photographed carrying the 9-month-old baby and pushing him along in his stroller as he shopped for groceries.

Kevin has now told his wife he doesn't want her to employ the guard anymore because he is worried he will come between them as they try and save their struggling marriage.

A source close to the pop star is quoted in Britain's The Sun newspaper as saying: "Kevin didn't like seeing Perry holding his son while out with Britney. He instructed her to drop him before their reunion last week where they decided to get their marriage back on track. Kevin was uncomfortable with Perry being so close to Britney and his son. He felt she was trying to taunt him."

Perry has now reportedly been told by the 'Toxic' singer he will only be employed on an hourly basis when he is needed as opposed to the round-the-clock shifts he did before.

Somebody's a paranoid asshole. If KFed feels so threatened by Perry holding his kid, then maybe he can come home once in a while and act like he gives a shit about his wife and kid. I mean, I'm just sayin.'

My Daily Amusement - More Vintage Maddy

My best friend saw Madonna yesterday at the concert in Chicago, and he reports that it was fucking amazing, and he had amazing seats. Maddy even stuck the microphone at him during La Isla Bonita and had him sing a line!

In honor of his achievements, I'm posting some of Madonna at her best - in the 90's, doing Express Yourself on the wonderful and legendary Blonde Ambition tour:



I have no doubt that this current tour is amazing, but it just doesn't get any better than that.

Trent Smash!

I have no idea what that that equipment ever did to Trent Reznor, but it'll never do it again. Or anything else, for that matter.

Lewis is Safe!

If you remember Lewis, the cat who was accused of attacking different people in his neighborhood, including the Avon lady as she got out of her car, well he's been saved from the needle! A judge has ruled that he doesn't have to be put to sleep, but he can NEVER leave his house.

There are no exceptions. None," said Judge Patrick Carroll, who also granted accelerated rehabilitation to Lewis' owner, Ruth Cisero. That means her record will be expunged if she successfully completes two years of probation.

Cisero had faced a charge of reckless endangerment because neighbors complained that the cat's long claws and stealth have allowed it to attack at least a half-dozen people and ambush the Avon lady as she was getting out of her car.

Cisero had fought to keep Lewis alive and in Connecticut. She rejected a previous offer of accelerated rehabilitation if she agreed to euthanize Lewis.

Carroll said Lewis cannot leave the house, even if he gets out accidentally. He said the case is not about a cat, but about people having the right to live in safety in their neighborhoods.

The case drew national attention. Lewis has appeared in People magazine and his own page on the social networking site MySpace.com.

But Cisero said Tuesday she would prefer to have never had the attention.

"I never thought it would come to this," she said. "It's been an absolute nightmare. It's ruined my life."

I hope her wussy neighbors are happy now. They ruined her life. At least Lewis will be saved! Long live Lewis!

Gwen and Kingston Watch Daddy Gavin Play Tennis

Mommy Gwen Stefani and cutest baby ever, Kingston sit in the shade and watch hot Daddy Gavin Rossdale play a little tennis.

Take that, Tom Cruise! No way is your imaginary daughter Suri cuter than little Kingston. Know how I know?? You refuse to show us what your pretent kid looks like!!!

Nicole & Keith Know How to Kiss Ass

If you can't beat 'em, give 'em beer.

At the home of Nicole Kidman and her fiance Keith Urban, the photographers who were staked out were treated to bottles of water and beer by the couple.

"After staking out Kidman's harbor-side Sydney house for most of the day, some 20 photographers heard her garage door start to rise and quickly armed themselves with motor-drive cameras. But instead of a shot of the bride and groom before the wedding day, two women carrying a case of beer and water bottles met the paparazzi."

On the bottles was a note that said "Enjoy, Nicole and Keith."

This is why I like Nicole Kidman. Instead of going on TV with Matt Lauer and bawling til her fake eyelash fell out, she does it with style.

Hot Monkey Sex

YOU KNOW that's what you were thinking when you saw this picture of KFed. C'mon, you KNOW it.

*gag*

Anyways, as if we need further proof that KFed is a dick, here's some more. Before he started promoting his new stupid album, his spokesbitches sent out an email, and one part of it said this:

"Every city he visits, he's going to visit a charity that benefits children ... whether that's handing out toys to children at hospitals or whatever ... He's doing it now through August."

Yeah, that's a nice sentiment. Too bad it was bullshit.

One of those stops on his promotional tour came this week, when Kevin was in Miami at the club Mansion, playing tracks from his debut album. And while Kevin did jet ski off South Beach, go to game 5 of the NBA championships, and drink Cristal out of the bottle at a club while his wife who paid for it sat at home, one thing he did not do was hand out toys to children at hospitals or whatever.

Yeah, why am I not suprised? What a douche.

Source of picture: http://dlisted.blogspot.com/2006/06/you-know-you-want-this.html

The Goddess Doesn't Need Help

I had posted yesterday about how Britney Spears had nobody to help her before her Dateline interview with Matt Lauer, no hair people, makeup people, handlers, nothing. So therefore, she ended up looking like a trailer park PTA mom with nasty ass hair.

As per usual, Dame Goddess Angelina Jolie showed her and others that a Goddess needs no help to be fabulous and beautiful.

From the CNN blog of Anderson Cooper, who conducted the interview:

When Angelina Jolie came into the room, just four days after returning from Namibia, she was alone. No handlers, no entourage. True, elaborate precautions had been made to make sure no photographers followed her to the hotel where we met, but there she was, by herself, walking into the hotel suite, smiling, ready to talk.

There are a lot of ridiculous stories circling on the Internet, spread by alleged "insiders" who claim that CNN or its parent company Time Warner somehow paid for the chance to talk to Angelina. These anonymous "sources" claim that People Magazine and CNN had some kind of joint deal to secure rights to photos and the interview.

I have no idea what People Magazine did or did not pay for those photos of the Jolie-Pitt family. It's been reported they paid as much as $4 million, which was donated to a variety of charities in Africa, but I have no way of knowing if that is true or not. What I do know is that CNN did not pay anything -- directly or indirectly -- to get Angelina Jolie to sit down for an interview

So why did she do it? And why talk to me?

That's right, bitches! Angelina shows us how it's done! All she does is wake up, and she's fucking beautiful!

In case you forgot, THIS is how Britney looked:

Yeah that black blob on her eye is where her fake eyelash was falling off. And that shit on her head is her hair, not straw. Let's not start on how rednecky it is to wear a jean mini skirt and a see-through top when you are six months pregnant.

Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and Welcome to My Daily Amusement.

Holy crap, this is so awesome. The second Jackass movie is coming out soon! I am SO there!

Britney Needs Professional Help

So PageSix has discovered the reason why Britney Spears looked and souneded stupid on her Dateline interview with Matt Lauer.

About when Matt and Co. showed up for the interview: "Neither of her publicists, Leslie Sloane Zelnick or Nanci Ryder, showed up," said our source. Spears insisted on doing her own hair and makeup - a regrettable decision. Web sites derided her hair as a "rat's nest" and, when she started crying during the interview, one of her fake eyelashes fell off. "When [the NBC crew] got there, they thought they had the wrong day . . . During the interview, no one was there to rein things in," we're told. Spears, when asked about Kevin Federline being with a pregnant Shar Jackson when they first met, shot back, "Julia Roberts' husband had a pregnant wife when he hooked up with Julia, but no one ever talked about that!" Spears wore flip-flops, a see-through tank and micro-mini jeans. Reps tried to control the damage on Friday. "They asked NBC not to release footage to places like E!," said a source. Asked why Spears was on her own for the interview, Sloane Zelnick said, "Britney is a grown-up and makes her own decisions."

Heh. Yeah, one BAD decision after another, Britney. Marrying KFed, having his kid, staying with KFed, doing this interview, having another kid by KFed, staying with KFed.....

My Daily Amusement - Friday Laughs

I decided to post two video clips by two of my favorite comedians.

First is Dane Cook. You absolutely have to watch Dane during his gags, he's hilarious.



Next is Steven Lynch. Now, while abstolutely funnier than hell, this song is really NSFW.

WHAT THE CRAP!

Victoria Silvstedt is somebody, I've never heard of her before, but she's famous for something.

Now she's famous for getting oral sex on a boat. By a man who isn't her husband. Whoa.

Link in title takes you to IDontLikeYouinThatWay.com, which has all the piccys. They show no naked body parts, but you get the gist of what is going on, therefore, I'm going to say they are NSFW.

Britian's Youngest Mother is Still An Idiot

Some time ago I posted about a 12-year-old in Britian who get herself knocked up one night while she was all drunk and drugged out. This same intelligent little peon said she would continue to drink and smoke while pregnant because she "didn't think it was hurting the baby." This same little token of intelligence, her mother is PROUD of her ass for being dumb enough to get pregnant.

Well, in a massive Bitch Slap From God, her baby was born, and immidiately stopped breathing and had to go into an incubator.

The chain-smoking mum is keeping a vigil by her 6lbs 13oz daughter’s incubator where she is fighting breathing complications. Last night, the baby’s devastated gran, 34, told how the family’s joy turned to terror within moments of the birth.

She sobbed: “It was awful. My daughter was handed the baby and she gasped and said to me, ‘Oh mum’ because she was so proud and excited.

“But suddenly panic broke out because the baby’s lips started going blue.

“We’re just praying she pulls through. My daughter was almost crying when she asked doctors, ‘Just save my baby — tell me she’s not going to die’.

“It broke my heart to hear my little girl talking about her little girl like that.

“The doctors say she might have to stay in the incubator for two weeks.”

Do they have something like the Division of Family Services in Britian? Because they need to check this situation out ASAP.

WHOA!!

Christopher Walken is looking kinda dead lately. I didn't realize bitch was that old. Day-um. This was taken at the Click premiere in L.A. two days ago.

Holy Crap!

Today's photo on nin.com is not my favorite hot shit, but apparently, some new hot shit. His name is Alessandro Cortini, he's been playing keyboards for Nine Inch Nails for a while, and he's Italian. Apparently, he's also hot. I dunno why, but this picture does it for me. Not as much as the Reznor when he's in full effect, but still. There's no Reznor today, so this'll do.

Madonna Finds New Target

Seriously, Madonna and Kaballah is like Tom CouchJumper and his cult.

Apparently, The Madgeness has befriended Lindsay Lohan. I'm sure Maddy will start showing her the way of the Kaballah. Apparently now Madonna is interested in doing a film together, and perhaps sing a duet. Barf. Save your time, Maddy. This one ain't Kabbalah material either.

Bitch Needs to Keep Her Crabs in L.A.

Parisite Hilton, Queen of Crotch Crabs, is thinking about moving to NYC. Apparently, she's looking at a condo on Trump Park Avenue. The condo is right above Alex Rodriguez's condo, who if Parisite moves in, will never be able to leave his home without the smell of rotting vagina invading his nostrils. Poor guy.

Seriously, I have friends in NYC. They want to start a petition to keep her out.

Oh yeah, these pictures are from her partying in NYC, wearing her slip because bitch figured she'd be naked by the end of the night, so she'd skip a layer.

Jay-Z Boycotts Cristal

Jay-Z has taken hip-hop's favorite drink, Cristal, off the menu at his 40/40 Club in NYC. He leads the way in boycotting the drink both professionally and personally after the makers of the beverage turned their noses up at the hip-hop industry.

He said: "It has come to my attention that the managing director of Cristal, Frederic Rouzaud views the 'hip-hop' culture as 'unwelcome attention'.

"I view his comments as racist and will no longer support any of his products through any of my various brands including The 40/40 Club nor in my personal life."

Head honcho over at Cristal, Frederic Rouzaud, responded: "I'm sure Dom Perignon or Krug would be delighted to have their business…"

Famous last words. Bitch might as well file for bankrupcy now.

Britney on Dateline

Now I know I already did a Daily Amusement, but this shit is hilarious.

Pay attention to how she searches for words to describe things. And always, things are "good....awesome.....very good."

And I nearly died laughing when she described KFed as "simple." Yeah. That's ONE word for him.



Full interview on Dateline tonight.

My Daily Amusement - I Voted for Kerry

Our dimwitted leader, Prez George W. Bush, was giving a press conference, and started kidding journalist Peter Wallstein about his wearing sunglasses. Yeah, thing is, Peter is blind as a bat.

Video:



Apparently, Dubya called him later in the day to apologize:

Wallsten said Bush called his cell phone later in the day to apologize and tell him that he didn't know he had the disease.

Wallsten said he interrupted and told the president that no apology was necessary and that he didn't feel offended since he hadn't told anyone at the White House about his condition.

Well that was big of him.

Seriously, what is next? Is Dubya gonna start teasing handicapped people? I don't care who you voted for, this shit is stupid.

Source for apology: http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/06/14/bush.apology.ap/index.html

Ken Paves is Hot Shit

Ken Paves has been Chestica's right hand man, because as dense as she is, even Big Boobs McGee knows that every gal needs a couple gay male friends to survive. Also, they never hesitate to say "Girl, you look a hot mess." Gotta love 'em.

Anyway, he may be buddy-buddy with Chestica, but he's not exclusive to her. He's worked the hair of Jessica Alba, Eva Longoria (Bitch), Jessica Biel, Brittney Murphy, and Avril Lavigne.

He and Chestica volunteer for Operation Smile, which is an organization that performs much needed dental surgeries for poor children around the world. Apparently, this cause is close to Ken's heart, as he lost a nephew to cancer.

"I did make a commitment to myself that I would never turn away a charity, especially for children, because I want to be a man of my world for my nephew...it is for him that I'm doing it."

He sounds like a nice guy. I still want him to do something with my hair before I shave that shit off and buy a wig.

Daily Dose of Trent Reznor

Considering on this leg of the tour, we seem to be getting a new picture like every day, I guess we'll start doing a Daily Trent post! Because seriously, the more Trent Reznor, the better.

Here is Trent Reznor, king of all the Hot Shit, singing with Peter Murphy of Bauhaus which is fucking awesome and I am hella jealous to not have seen this shit.

Also awesome is the hint that Trent may be growing back the hair of flowing sexiness. Either that, or the closely buzzed thing wasn't rocking his world. It certainly wasn't rocking mine.

Ashlee Simpson Claims to Love Her Boobs

Somehow, I don't believe this shit. According to the Sun, Ashlee Simpson likes her boobs the way they are, and has no intention of getting them done to the size of her sister's.

Pop star Ashlee Simpson says she doesn't mind having smaller breasts than her sister Jessica.

She told Marie Claire magazine: "I love my boobs. My sister Jessica always grew up having a larger chest.

"Men love it and stare at it, but she needs to wear two sports bras to even play volleyball.

"My point is that whether you have big boobs or small boobs, there are always pros and cons."

She added: "If you have bigger you want smaller, and if you have smaller, you want bigger."

Whatever. I give it a month.

Nick Lachey with Vanessa Minnillo Again

Apparently, Nick Lachey has been cuddling with Vanessa Minnillo again. If I remember right, she's an MTV VJ. And a better choice than his ditzy soon-to-be-ex-wife. These pictures are from Cabo earlier this week.

My Daily Amusement - OUTRAGE!

These crazy bitches are inbred weirdoes from Kansas who have their own church. This bitch is a daughter to the head psycho. They picket soldier's funerals, and they picketed Matthew Shepard's funeral. I've seen 'em around, me living in Missouri, and I'm tired of their shit. I wish they'd all inbreed so much, they lost the ability to speak. That would rule.

Sandra is Cute, But Her Husband is Cuter.

I love Sandra Bullock. She's so cute, and she's a great lady. But since she married Jesse James, I could care less about the bitch. I know Jesse isn't the Hollywood/movie premieres type, but dammit, Sandra shouldn't be allowed to go anywhere without my eye-candy.

Oh yeah, that's her and Keanu Reeves at the premiere for their new movie, The Lake House. Movie looks okay, but there's no Jesse James in it.

What the Crap???

Ew!!! No!!!



Aw, yeah that's more like it.

People magazine has come out with a list of men they have deemed the "Hottest Bachelors." Most of the men made me think either "ew," "what the crap," or "who?" C'mon, guys. Taylor Hicks????

Taylor Hicks - Give me a break.
Nick Lachey - Meh. I can see the draw here.
Jake Gyllenhaal - Can also see why they listed him.
Donald Faison - Who?
Camila Villegas - Who??
Ace Young - Isn't this another American Idol bitch? If so, then NO.
Bobby Deen - Who??
Jon Tenney - Who?
Kenney Chesney - Okay, I know I'm in the minority, but bitch is hot.
Matthew McConaghay - OH yeah. No argument here.
Chris Evans - Who?
Archie Kao - Who?
Ryan Seacrest - What the fuck?? Honestly!! Bitch is ugly.

Okay someone was paid off. Because seriously, if I have to Google their asses to know who they are, then they are not hot. And neither Trent Reznor nor Anthony Kiedis appeared anywhere on that list. I know Anthony has a girlfriend, but so does that Jake Gamalamadingdong guy, so there.

This Explains Everything

Jewel used to be awesome. Her, her guitar, singing music that meant something. You didn't hear her shit in gay discos, or on the radio really. Some of her best stuff was unreleased on that first CD.

Then, Intuition came out. And she was dead to me. Now I know why she started writing that shit and got her boobs done.

She didn't used to drink, now she thinks alcohol is the elixir of life!

"I grew up singing for alcoholics, and it never really seemed like alcohol fixed anything. I was afraid that it would get me. Around 30, I kind of realized that alcohol really does solve all your problems. Whoever said drinking doesn't help lied. You live and you learn."

Bitch will be in the Betty Ford center drying out before we know it!

Parisite Hilton and Lindsay Lohan Not Getting Along

Lindsay Lohan was out the other night when she was spotted by Parisite Hilton, who apparently started screaming at Lohan because she's been hanging with Parisite's ex, Starved Nachos.

"Witnesses report Hilton went up to Lohan and shouted, "I can't believe you and Stavros! You are ridiculous!" After taking more insults and curses, Lohan said, "That's how you say hello? I don't need to respond to you." Lohan promptly left. A rep for Lohan said, "Correct. Paris tried to pick a fight with her and started screaming at her, but Lindsay took the high road." After Lohan left, Hilton did a striptease for N.Y. Knick David Lee, Eli Manning and a bunch of other N.Y. Giants."

Yes, no worries, folks. Parisite wasn't SO upset that she couldn't air out her crabby vagina. And if the Nacho Boy isn't good enough for Parisite, why the fuck does she care if Lohan's blowing him? He showed up bawling at Parisite's house, and she excused him like hired help. Parisite needs for some disease to make her even uglier than she already is, or make all her hair fall out. That would kick so much ass.