Bree's a Drunk!

Spoiler Alert!!

Housewife Update Time!!!

Bree went to a restaurant, got blitzed. Couldn't drive, so she took a cab. Bitch passed out in her front yard, where the neighbor saw, and Andrew, her bastard son, sprayed her with the lawn sprinklers. Later, Lynette has her babysit. When Lynette's demon children escape and are later found, Lynette is told by the neighbor about Bree's drinking, and Bree denies it when Lynette asks. Later, Lynette finds a bunch of bottles in Bree's trash. If I were anal-retentive Bree, I would recycle that shit.

Also: Gabby's bitch mother shows up and blames her for the fact that her ex-husband, and Gabby's step-father, used to molest Gabby. 'Cause you know, Gabby was all underage and STOLE the step-father away. Ew.

Even more also: Edie found a ring in Karl's shit, and thought he was gonna ask her to get married. Only he was supposed to supersecret marry Susan so she could have health insurance for her liver or whatever they needed to do surgery on. So of course, Karl goes ahead and proposes to the Town Bike, and Susan is all "Do I want him to be happy or me to be happy?" But this IS Susan we're talking about, so I'm sure she's more worried about herself. Luckily her daughter Julie is there to bitch-slap her with a froozen salmon.

FINALLY Also: Zach finally finds out that Mike is his for-real daddy. Noah, wants to see his grandson, but also wants CreePaul offed for killing his daughter. When Mike goes over to tell CreePaul that him and Zach should skip town, Zach overhears. So that's how he found out. FINALLY!

No Applewhites crap this week. Who cares.

Link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6828182/