I'd Better be Invited

Rumor is that George Clooney, longtime dedicated bachelor, is marrying his girlfriend whom he's been dating since mid-2007.

One restaurant worker in Laglio, the town where Clooney has a villa, said: 'They haven't made any announcement yet, but there are people in this town who know more than me. They say the couple are already engaged.' Since Sarah met George she has ditched her £100,000-a-year job to join the jet-set, and has since enjoyed romantic trips to Venice, Dubai, Miami and his Lake Como hideaway. But it was the Oscars destination that really set tongues wagging: Sarah was the first woman to be invited to walk the red carpet with Clooney. George previously enjoyed romances with Renee Zellweger and Lisa Snowdon but, the source says, he's finally found someone 'he wants to really give it a go with'."

I'm eagerly awaiting my invitation to this wedding. It'll be easy. Just walk outside your house, and to the shrubs where I'm staking out and hand it to me. Heh. Not really.