Lohan Enjoying Rehab Life

A friend of Lindsay Lohan is saying how she's happy in rehab and getting better.

“She’s been sending text messages from rehab saying she’s the happiest she has ever been. She seems under control right now.”

Yeah because text messages reveal all. I still say a week after she's out, she goes on a bender.

Picture source:
http://dlisted.com/2007/01/24/more-of-miu-miu-lindsay/

Parisite Has Herpes. No, REALLY???

Parisite Hilton had a storage facility that for some reason or another, she didn't pay on and the stuff inside got auctioned off. Some guy bought it up, and for like $40, you can see what all was in there. However, most of it has leaked online somewhere, so who needs to pay $40 to find out stuff about her that we already knew?

Stuff in the shed according to Page Six:
* Prescription bottles for Hydrocodone, a painkiller similar to OxyContin used to manage anxiety disorders, post-party sleep aid Ambien and the herpes medication Valtrex.

* A medical bill from a Los Angeles clinic, billing an "Amber Taylor" - with the same birth date as Paris - for a miscarriage in March 2003.

* A journal analyzing her booze-fueled dreams.

* Several bank statements, including one with an ending monthly balance of just $9.26."

And of course:
Among the hours of video footage on the site is a series of short tapes of a naked Hilton being filmed by Joe Francis, the "Girls Gone Wild" creator, and her former fiance, Jason Shaw. Francis tapes the dazed and confused heirhead - first taking off her red bikini top on a yacht in St. Tropez, then later swooshing around in a bubble bath while he begs her to show him her body."

Yeah if you click the link in the title of this story, you can see some of the screenshots of these lovely videos. You can also find links to download parts of the video. Or you could just save yourself the trouble and carve out your eyes now.

Parisite Hilton Accepts Plea Agreement

Parisite Hilton has reached a plea agreement in the matter of her drunk-driving arrest.

Says People magazine: Hilton entered a plea of no contest Monday to a lesser charge of reckless driving and was placed on 36 months probation. She must also pay a fine of $390 and attend an alcohol education program.

"I just spoke with Paris an hour ago, and she's happy the matter is behind her," Hilton's rep, Elliot Mintz, tells PEOPLE.

"We believe this was an appropriate resolution given the facts in this matter and both sides' desire to avoid a trial on the original charges," says Hilton's attorney, Howard Weitzman, who is also representing Nicole Richie in her pending DUI case.

Ah, she's free to drive drunk all over L.A. once more. Glad I live in Midwestern Hell.

The Goddess Doesn't Need Your Sympathy

That's right. She doesn't need any of our puny human things called "emotions." She's hot, she's got a hot sex slave, she's got a bunch of minions (children), she doesn't need to cry or hug.

According to Hollywood Rag: Angelina said: "I'm not a hugger. People make fun of me. It's something thatI have a hard time with.

"If someone hugs me, I hold my breath. Snuggling, cuddling, hugging,crying - all that stuff makes me very uncomfortable.

"I've often been accused of not talking about my personal things. I mean,even with Brad. He usually has to draw something out of me.

"I have had a lot of people - ex-husbands - suggest that they'd be very opento being a shoulder to cry on. If I had the inclination, it would be verylovely if I could possibly let that go.

"But I have this odd sense of it's not going to accomplish anything to cry.It's not going to help you to get a hug!"

Exactly. Who needs to cry? Who needs affection? That's why she's the Goddess and I worship her.

Jared Leto is So Emo

Jared Leto, also known as the blondie who got his face kicked in in the movie Fight Club, was at the Sundance festival, promoting his movie Chapter 27. He was apparently being all emo and shit.

Says Page Six: When a photographer from WireImage attempted to snap Leto’s picture, the eyeliner- clad cad shouted, “No! No more, bro!” Leto walked out - but not before a “big guy” yanked at his long tresses. Leto “whipped off his hat with earflaps on and stepped up to the guy,” said a spy. “They were yelling at each other.” But no punches were thrown. And though Leto left, he came back a couple hours later to look for the guy. (Leto’s rep didn’t return calls.)

God he's getting even more douche-like every day, isn't he? Only thing he's missing is the black hair. Right now he looks straight-up grunge. And that's the wrong genre completely for his stupid band.

So What Does this Make Katie-Kate?

$cientology leader David Miscaviage believes that Tom Cruise is $cientology's Jesus. He also believes that aliens started the human race, so take his thoughts with a grain of salt.

Says a source: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure. Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realize he was right.”

Yeah, no. Anti-christ, maybe. So what does this make Katie-Kate? Hmm... If he's Jesus, does that mean we get to crucify him?

Picture is of the Stepford wife in Paris attending a fashion show with the robot, Posh Beckham.

Picture source:
http://dlisted.com/2007/01/23/katie-in-paris/

His Hotness Speaks!

Aw yeah! We're getting another Nine Inch Nails record! THIS year! No waiting eight years, folks! So in February, we get the new live DVD, Beside You in Time, AND later this year an album??? Holy crap I'm gonna wet myself. Quite enjoy the little picture of Atticus, Alan, and his hotness himself, Trent Reznor hard at work.

Says Trent:
Posted on [12_13_2006] by trentreznor
Is it possible I am actually finished writing and recording a new nine inch nails record? Apparently so. We begin mixing in January!
Juggling fifteen all-new tracks around. Testing sequences. No leftovers from "with teeth". Highly conceptual. Quite noisy. Fucking cool.

OF COURSE it will be fucking cool. I'd expect nothing less!

Oh yeah, Beside You in Time, or as most of us fans know, the halo22 website:
http://halo22.nin.com/

Coachella 2007 Lineup Announced

So I keep hearing on the radio that the lineup for the 2007 Coachella Music Festival has been announced. However, I've been having issues accessing the website. So if you click the title of this post to get to the website, it may or may not work. Therefore, I'm going off what the afternoon DJ has been saying.

HOWEVER. They have been saying that the best hard rock/rap group of the 90's will be getting back together just to do Coachella. What band is that? Rage Against the Machine, motherfuckers! Hell to the yeah! If this shit wasn't in California, I'd SO be there! I'm gonna have to either win a contest or the damn lottery because this would kick so much ass. I like Audioslave and all, but this is the shit.

FedEx Got Himself a Job

Yeah he's doing a commercial for the Superbowl. It shows him in some lavish rap video with hos and cars and shit 'til he wakes up and realizes he's just a loser working a fast food joint. It's the insurance company with the slogan "life comes at you fast." Heh.

Here's a video of him laying down the rap tracks. It's so entertaining. Especially if you like greasy white broke posers who can only find work on commercials.

Gwen is Still Hotter Than Everyone

Homegirl was at some awards show in France, and it's safe to say, she was the hottest thing there. Kingston of course, came in a close second.

Pamela Anderson Treads on Dangerous Territory

If I were not pregnant, I would be able to sympathize with Pam's feelings on the whole KFC thingy. However, I am in fact knocked up, and my food-of-the-week is drumsticks, mashed potatoes and gravy and baked beans from KFC. (Dammit, now I'm hungry again.) Therefore, her new issue is threatening to make me want to place one of my curses on her. Right now, she's pissy that the USPS is thinking about releasing a stamp with Colonel Sanders on them. Who the eff cares?

In her letter to the postmaster: “Honoring a man whose legacy involves breaking animals’ bones and scalding animals to death in defeathering tanks is contrary to the values of most compassionate citizens, and I hope that you’ll deny KFC’s request. How about another Elvis stamp instead?”

Goddamn it, worry about your own life and leave my chicken alone!

WHOA!

It's official! Senator Hillary Clinton has thrown her hat in to run for prez. She would be the FIRST female prez EVER.

According to msnbc.com: Democratic Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton launched a trailblazing campaign for the White House on Saturday, a former first lady turned political powerhouse intent on becoming the first female president. “I’m in, and I’m in to win,” she said.

In a videotaped message posted on her Web site, Clinton said she was eager to start a dialogue with voters about challenges she hoped to tackle as president — affordable health care, deficit reduction and bringing the “right” end to the Iraq war.

“I’m not just starting a campaign, though, I’m beginning a conversation with you, with America,” she said. “Let’s talk. Let’s chat. The conversation in Washington has been just a little one-sided lately, don’t you think?”

Not sure yet what I think. If her politics are anything like her husband's, I could be gung-ho for this. But it's gonna take a special kind of person to be able to clean up the mess that our current prez is gonna leave behind.

Sorry for the lack of picture, just wanted to post this quickly and I only had a minute.

Parisite Getting her Wonky Eye Fixed?

Supposedly, Parisite Hilton has consulted with a plastic surgeon about getting her droopy eyelid (wonky eye) fixed. What is especially amusing is that the doctor told her that she shouldn't wear her tinted contacts because it's making the condition worse. (Dumb bitch wears blue contacts when her eyes are really brown.) Of course, Parisite is ignoring him.

According to Page Six: Paris has made things worse by wearing blue- tinted contact lenses over her naturally brown irises. "They have been drying out lately," dished the tipster. "She is ignoring doctors' orders to not wear her tinted contacts."

She's a moron. That part isn't news. But the wonky eye IS Parisite Hilton! It'd be like if Pam Anderson took the boobs about again. It just doesn't work. It doesn't look right.

Oprah's BIG Secret Revealed.

I saw an ad on TV for the new episode of Oprah, and she was all "I'm gonna reveal an important secret that NOBODY knows about me!" From my throne on high, (my recliner with cat scratches and bird poop) I declared that America already knows she's gay. And the people (my husband) laughed. However, that wasn't the big secret.

Apparently, she was sexually abused a lot as a kid and one of those abuses ended up in a pregnancy. The baby was born stillborn. She was only 14. This is sad, but why did she blab about it now? According to DListed, some bitch family member of hers already yapped to the National Enquirer about her story, so she felt the need to fess up. All righty then.

Good God This Was So Six Months Ago!

Isiah Washington, who is Dr. Burke on Grey's Anatomy, also known as "Layla's second favorite show ever," issued an apology for saying the f-word at the Golden Globes last week. He said it once before on the set of the show in reference to T.R. Knight who plays George, and later came out of the closet. Now, GLAAD is calling for Washington to be fired. There's also some stupid online petition of GA fans calling for his firing.

Okay, if the cast, and most importantly, T. R. Knight, are okay with this apology, then who the hell cares what anybody else says? This shit is up to the man who was wronged. If Knight wants him gone, fire his ass. If they've made peace, then let this die already. This shit is almost as tired as the whole Rosie/Hairpiece Trump fued. And NO, this isn't because Washington is hotter than hell and Burke and Christina are the hottest couple ever. Christina is hot shit and she don't need no man. She would eat him for breakfast. In fact, if they DO fire him, then that's how he should be written out. Dr. Christina Yang eats him in a cannibal rage. So there. MOVE ON ALREADY!

Seriously?? I Missed This????

Last night there supposedly some update show featuring the God Warrior who first appeared and graced my life on Fox's Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy. She made America's ears happy with her shrieking. Hee. I love this woman, seriously. She did a little rap song and was supposed to get a show of her own, but I never heard any more about her. Supposedly, she was gonna use the money from doing the show to get gastric bypass surgery done.

If anybody saw this update show, seriously, was she as glorious as before??? Did she get her surgery? Did she scream "SLLLYY-KICKS!!!" or "GARGOYLES!" a couple times?

Marilyn/Dita Divorce Gets Nasty

Papers were filed yesterday by Marilyn Manson having to do with his divorce from Dita. He wants to make sure she doesn't get a dime from him. Nevermind the fact that she has yet to ask for any, he just wants to make sure she knows he's not giving her a damn thing. All she's asked is that he pay her legal fees, and of course he's not wanting to do that. That's a small favor for her to ask given she's had to do the sex and see his pasty ass naked for more than a year, seriously.

He lists the date of separation as October 31st, while hers was around Christmas. He's already moved on with his mid-life crisis girl, 19-year old Evan Rachel Wood.

Phhhfft. Dita don't need his stinky money. Girl has her own. And she's fabulous to boot. Seriously, once that Evan Rachel chick grows a brain and takes off, who is going to want to screw Marilyn? Yeah, nobody.

Lohan Begins First Failed Attempt at Rehab

Yeah I have a lot of faith in her, don't I?

From her statement: "I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health. I appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time."

Like I said. Two days after she's out, she'll go on a three week bender.

Beyonce's Father is a Dimwit

Beyonce didn't win any Golden Globes. Therefore, it's not because she's a shitty actress, it's because Hollywood is racist, according to her dad.

Knowles told reporters back stage at the Beverly Hills Hilton right after the Golden Globes show ended that his daughter was outcasted and overlooked by a bureaucratic good old boy system that is still alive in 2007 as it was in 1967. "Today is MLK's birthday and it saddens me to say that things have not changed for blacks. Working class blacks and blacks in Hollywood are still being discriminated against. We still have a long way to go," he said."

Had I been there, I would've asked him: If the system is so racist, then why did Forest Whitaker, Eddie Murphy, Jennifer Hudson, Prince and the Dreamgirls movie win Golden Globes this year? Oh what? Did I just kill your whole bitchfest?

Daddy Knowles, I believe your dipshit partner in crime, Papa Joe Simpson, is calling. He says you're dumber than rocks and you make his daughters look smart.

"Working class blacks?" His daughter is richer than God. Thusly, I'm sure you're not poor. Poor people don't wear fake hair and date Jay-Z. Shut the hell up, honestly.

Ewan McGregor to Play Kurt Cobain?

At first I was like "Yeah, no." Then I saw this nice side-by-side that ICYDK.com used and I can almost see it.

Well, C Love aquired the rights to Heavier Than Heaven, probably the best biography ever written about Kurt Cobain. The book was written by Charles Cross and of course I have it. And of course I've read it like 97,000 times.

Anywho, C Love wants Ewan to play the part. He's already played a punk rock star in some movie called Velvet Goldmine.

Moviemaker Gus Van Sant did a movie a year or so ago that was losely based on the last days of Kurt's life called Last Days but it sucked major ass. This new project will be the first feature film based entirely on Cobain's life since his suicide in 1994. Of course, his bitch widow will make hella money on this project. I guess it's too much to hope she puts it in a trust fund for Frances Bean since any money that's left in Courtney's hands goes up her nose. Oh wait, she's SOBER now. Riiiight.

That being said, I bought the journal of his she published. I'll probably watch this shit too.

Goddess and the Man Slave Move Closer to Me.

Us Weekly has stated that The Goddess Angelina Jolie and her man-slave, Brad Pitt have moved to New Orleans. Which means, they are closer to me. Woo!

Says The Goddess: “We love it there. The kids are going to go to school there. We're really looking forward to it.”

In all seriousness, this is a good thing. Knowing how charity minded they are, they could do some really awesome things for the ninth ward where it basically still looks like Katrina hit yesterday. Obviously, they are looking for charities to help out.

Says Us: “She’s interested in befriending normal moms so she can do things with the kids,” says a Jolie source. And who can forget their humanitarian efforts? “Angelina has asked for places she can do charity work,” says the source, who adds that Jolie had inquired about a school for disadvantaged youth.

So yeah. Also, on a more shallow note, they were way hotter than anyone else at the damn Golden Globes. So there.

The Golden Globes Probably Sucked. Also, Cameron Diaz is Still One Ugly Bitch.

I don't watch the Golden Globes. That didn't change this year. So basically, people showed up, some were ugly, some weren't, some people won something, some didn't, people went home. Woo.

However, Cameron Diaz was stunningly ugly. She was also stunningly crazy, from what I'm hearing.

According to Page Six: Diaz followed Timberlake to the In Style party at the Hilton Oasis, where "they had an awkward conversation." She then trailed Timberlake to the Beverly Hilton rooftop for the Universal party, where she found him chatting up Biel - and screamed at the "Illusionist" star. "If that's how she wants to get him back, it won't work," said our insider. "She's desperate."

That "Biel" is Jessica Biel. She's no Angelina Jolie, but she's light years ahead of fucking Cameron Diaz. That, Mr. Timberlake, is what you call an "upgrade!" Good job! Keep it up!

Britney Spears Knocked Up Again???

Rumor is that Britney Spears just totally hates her career and would like to kill whatever is left of it and so she got knocked up again. Who knows who the dad would be. Could be a random bum on the street and I wouldn't be shocked.

Says a source: “I’ve seen her during the last two pregnancies and she has the same look now. She’s heavier, but that’s not it. It’s the sparkle in her eye. She always gets that sparkle when she’s pregnant, like she’s relaxed and happy.”

It could be she's not drinking because, gee, she's trying to clean up her shit. And don't people gain weight when they quit the nose candy? I'm holding out for that she's sobering up. But knowing her, I'm wrong and she's tossing out another kid.

Didn't He Used to be Hot?

Seriously? I seem to remember Matthew McConahay (or however you spell his name) being hot. I mean, I saw him in A Time to Kill and nearly wet myself. Now, not so much.

The Goddess Smites Shiloh

The Goddess basically said she loves Zahara and Maddox more than baby Shiloh because they had shitty lives before she swooped in and adopted them, and all Shiloh had to do was be born.

Sayeth The Goddess: I think I feel so much more for Madd and Zee because they're survivors, they came through so much," Jolie says in the new issue of U.K. Elle. Shiloh seemed so privileged from the moment she was born. I have less inclination to feel for her...I met my other kids when they were 6 months old, they came with a personality. A newborn really is this...Yes, a blob! But now she's starting to have a personality...I'm conscious that I have to make sure I don't ignore her needs, just because I think the others are more vulnerable."

That's right. Shiloh is number three. After they adopt the next one, she's bumped to four.

FedEx and His True Colors

Right now, Britney Spears has full custody of her two kids with FedEx. He has visitation. He recently turned down her settlement offer of $10 million. He did say that if she'd give him $50 million, he wouldn't fight for custody of the kids.

At least we now know how much his kids are worth to him. 50 million big ones. What a bastard.

Dave Matthews to Bring his Genius to 'House'

Dave Matthews is a genius. Don't doubt me, or I'll smite you with my anger. He's a damn genius. He's filmed an episode of House, which is a genius medical drama on Fox. Surely this much genius together must cause some sort of cosmic disaster.

According to NME.com, Dave will be playing a piano genius whose talents came about after a childhood accident. Matthews' character begins suffering seizures, so his dad must decide between his talents and his life. The epsiode will air in March, and I will be taping it.

Marilyn Manson's New Girlfriend

Supposedly Manson's been screwing this chick and that's why him and Dita are splitting. This chick is Evan Rachel Wood, who is 19 and starred in his film Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll. She also posed for a watercolor painting of his. She's not even of legal drinking age. Ew. I hope Dita gets the cats.

Madonna Defends Rosie O'Donnell

Madonna stepped up to defend her longtime friend Rosie O'Donnell in the whole Rosie/Donald Trump thingy.

According to Canoe: The 48-year-old pop star told "Today" co-host Meredith Vieira that she'd first heard about the flare-up between O'Donnell and Trump while vacationing "in the middle of the Indian Ocean" and quickly e-mailed O'Donnell.

"I have to hear it from the horse's mouth," Madonna said. "Basically, I mean, she's a stand-up comic. I think all stand-up comics talk about provocative things in their monologues before shows, and I think that's a commonplace thing."

"I don't know exactly the content of what she said," she continued, "but I have a feeling that if every stand-up comic was penalized for saying politically incorrect things or provocative things, I think they'd all be hung in the public square."

That was nice of Maddy to say, but seriously, this dumbass feud needs to die already. The only part about it that I enjoyed was the opportunity to make fun of The Donald. His new season is tanking and he's pissy. Poor rich man.

Further Proof that Lohan is Evil Incarnate

The new rumor is that one of the reasons Dita and Marilyn Manson are divorcing is because he liked to party all the time with Lindsay Lohan. Now she doesn't seem like his type on the outside, but on the inside, you know bitch is pure evil. Need proof?

Remember how she was hospitalized for appendisitis? She supposedly had for-real surgery to remove her diseased appendix? Well the evil must have healed her in record time because she was seen THE NEXT NIGHT partying with herpes boy Travis Barker.

Says Janet Charlton: Travis and Lindsay burned up the dancefloor most of the night. (Funny, most musicians don't dance. Even funnier - Lindsay's "appendectomy" last week didn't slow her down in the slightest!) When they weren't dancing they were "smoking" and with every swig out of her naughty water bottle, Lindsay got a little giddier and noisier. The pair hung out until 5 AM and left separately. But an observer noted that when Lindsay made her exit, she looked "wasted."

Yeah, she is evil I tell you! EVIL!

Linds partying with Travis source:
http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=1757

Goddess Angelina Gives Madonna a Talking-To

While she did give Maddy props for trying to give a child a better life, Goddess Angelina did give her the once-over for the way she went about adopting the baby from Malawi.

According to Daily Mail: She said the singer should never have visited an impoverished African country with the sole intention of choosing an infant.

Her comments follow accusations that Madonna used her fame and money to speed the adoption of one-year- old David Banda late last year.

'Madonna knew the situation in Malawi, where he was born,' said Miss Jolie, who has adopted two Third World youngsters of her own.

'It's a country where there is no real legal framework for adoption.

Later on is where she seems to be a bit supportive: Despite her own harsh words, Miss Jolie said she still felt sorry for Madonna, 48, who has been harshly criticised since taking David back to London to live with her husband Guy Ritchie and her own children, Lourdes and Rocco.

Well coming from Goddess Angelina, hopefully Maddy pays a little attention if she intends on adopting any more. This was coming from the baby-adopting pro.

Britney and FedEx Come to an Agreement

So Britney Spears and soon-to-be-ex-deadweight FedEx have come up with an agreement regarding custody of their two kids, SPF and JJ. FedEx will be allowed to see them three times a week for four hours at a time, but only Britney, FedEx, the nanny, her assisant, and household staff are allowed to be present during these visits. So therefore, FedEx's skanky friends cannot. That's a good idea. Brit is also allowed to take the kids on a trip to Miami from January 5th to the 11th.

Weren't we supposed to see some pictures of JJ that she gave away? I remember hearing about that forever ago. I'm curious to see this kid. We've not seen him yet, I don't think.

Brooke Hogan ALMOST not a Hot Mess

This is the first picture I've seen in a LONG time wherein Brooke Hogan didn't look like a tacky whore. Dunno who the guy is, but hey. She's covered up, almost. Way to be, Brooke.

Dita and Marilyn Done???

Rumor is that Dita Von Teese is serving husband Marilyn Manson with divorce papers. I'm actually bummed for these guys if this is true, because I thought these two were cute together. They had the coolest wedding photos ever. But according to the rumor, he liked to drink and didn't pay any attention to her.

According to the source: “She loved him so much, but he has too many demons. He can’t even communicate with her at this point. She tried to tell him she was divorcing him, but she can’t even get him on the phone. She moved out of the house and he hasn’t even noticed.”

Well, hope it's not true, but if it is, best of luck to them.

This Show Will be Hot

This is from a new reality show, Armed and Famous. In the show, celebs LaToya Jackson, Jack Osbourne, Erik Estrada, Wee Man from Jackass, and some chick who used to be a wrestler are all training to be police officers. In the following video, they all volunteer to be tasered as a part of that training. When they're done, they're actually gonna be on patrol, with GUNS. Imagine...LaToya Jackson with a gun...or being pulled over for driving drunk by Wee Man and Jack Osbourne...that would make my YEAR. It's safe to say, I'm watching this show. It premieres next Wednesday on CBS.

FedEx Gets Shot Down

FedEx seems to think pretty highly of himself. He seems to fancy himself some sort of desirable male. He texted Lindsay Lohan and stated "We should hang out." Obviously, Lohan found this amusing.

“She was totally grossed out,” a Lohan pal tells Us. Says another, “She thought it was hilarious.” However, Federline didn’t appreciate Lohan’s “Why would I hang out with you?” reply. He fired back, calling her a "firecrotch." Says the source, “She couldn’t believe he was so pathetic. She doesn’t want him using her to make Britney jealous.”

"Firecrotch?" That's his best response? Best of all, he was shocked that she turned him down? Let's see...dumped wannabe white rapper who cannot sell out a House of Blues...he's a known sponge out looking for a new female to sponge off of...yeah...that's one hot man right there. Lohan may have fried half her brain cells, but she's got a few left. She knows a herpes machine when she sees one.

Britney Spears About to Get Axed.

Apparently Jive Records is thinking of dropping Britney Spears. Apparently her recent behavior of boozing it up, showing everyone her vagina, and passing out at parties is alienating her fans and the 4 tracks she's turned in for this magical "next record" we keep hearing about are pure shit.

Says Cindy Adams: While in New York she was in the studio recording for Jive Records. She worked some nights until 4 a.m. laying down tracks for a new CD. She thinks it's the makings of a really great album. They don't. Talk inside the company is that either it's redone, or they need to drop it - and her.

Jive fears she's alienating her fan base. Their fan base. Jive caters to a young music-buyer, and the continued atmosphere - drinking, bingeing, partying, whatevering, photos with no panties for a mother of two infants - is hitting sour notes. Besides, Jive is not in sync with the five tracks Brit delivered … The recording has stopped midway. Nothing more has been done because the company doesn't yet know what it wants to do.

Color me shocked. Something tells me she'll never pull her dumb ass out of the gutter. When you're so drunk and trashy that Parisite Hilton quits hanging out with you, that's saying something.

Parisite Hilton Thinks Pretty Highly of Herself.

Someone offered Parisite Hilton a bunch of money to make sex dolls that look like her. In spite of the fact that this would be hilarious, she declined.

"I turn down perverted things, some sex things. Like a Paris Hilton blow-up doll. They were like: 'They'll sell for $50,000 each, it'll be the real-life you.' And I'm like: 'I really don't want a real-life me with anyone, anywhere. No!'"

Meh she only said no because she couldn't control who was having sex with the blow-up dolls. Can't have any unsavory people getting it on with plastic Parisites. (Heh...that's funny too.)

Cameron Diaz is Still Ugly.

Some dumbass asked Cameron Diaz for her "beauty secrets."

"I don't know if these are beauty secrets, but what I do to feel my best is just exercise regularly, laugh and play often, and make love every moment I can. Oh, yeah, and lots of water."

What she needs is holy water and three priests, because bitch is ugly.

Terri Irwin Gets Steve's Tape

According to Swim at Your Own Risk, Terri Irwin has been given the only copy left of the tape of her husband's death when he was filming on location.

From the source: Steve Irwin’s wife Terri was given the footage of her husband’s death after authorities broke with protocol to ensure it didn’t get into the wrong hands. All copies of the film, which shows Irwin being stabbed in the heart by a stingray, have been destroyed. The coronial investigation is almost complete and the footage was handed to Terri Irwin just before Christmas. Apparently, some people were willing to pay up to $1 million for it.

Thank God for that. That's one video that doesn't belong on YouTube or some such shit.

Lohan Has Her Own Private Suite at the Damn Hospital

Seriously, bitch is at the hospital almost as much as she's at the bars.

Anyways, TMZ and DListed are reporting that this time, she's having her appendix out. She's had the surgery and is recovering nicely.

Next comes the addiction to painkillers. Wonder what her liver looks like.