Here is Katie-Kate Holmes, pondering her last few moments of freedom, before she signs herself over to the alien hobbit, the destroyer of couches, Tom Cruise. She's peeking out the window at the castle where supposedly the wedding is supposed to take place. It'll be at 5 PM Italy time, which is about five minutes from now. Damn girl, you had time. You could've made your getaway. The mind control drugs Tom gets are strong shit, I guess. Damn. She looks like she's not slept in a month. I'd be restless too if I was her.
Well all kinds of bitches are supposed to be there. Everybody but Oprah. Even Chestica Simpson's buddy, Ken Paves is there. He's supposed to be doing Jenny McCarthy's hair, and rumor is he won the job of doing Katie-Kate's for the big event. (I know, right? Jenny McCarthy but not Oprah? I told you Tom is effing crazy.)
In other news, today is my bestest buddy Eric's birthday. So Happy Birthday to him! Ha! The crazies are getting married on his birthday! That rules.
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