Friday, May 16, 2008
Color Me Shocked
So apparently Papa Joe is not only the king of creepy, but the king of ruining his daughter's relationship to football players. Rumor has it that when Papa Joe started "to offer unsolicited advice to Tony on his career, endorsement opportunities and things that have nothing to do with him dating Jessica" Tony decided to hit the road. It also didn't help that Chestica was blabbing about Tony being "her future husband" in a magazine interview. Apparently that was news to Tony.
However, sources are now claiming that Romo is still gonna propose, they're just in a "rough patch." Right. Says Fox News: Every couple has their problems; we're hoping that they'll have a break and work it all out," said the source. So while Romo's initial matrimonial plans seem to have been put on the back burner for the time being, the estranged duo are apparently still "talking." Calls to Simpson's rep were not returned. But what exactly are these "differences" that are causing chaos for the couple? For one, 28-year-old Romo reportedly still has a roommate and loves his freedom while Jess has already been married and divorced and has made it clear she wants to be a mom soon. "Jessica has made no secret of the fact she wants to get married, and with all the Ashlee wedding talk and Jess' dad's involvement, Tony was obviously feeling it," another source said. "I wouldn't be surprised if he just couldn't go through with the proposal and that's what's caused the break."
And by the "source" they mean Papa Joe considering he's been begging Romo to still go with Chestica to Ashlee's wedding this weekend.
Sad.
Source and Source
However, sources are now claiming that Romo is still gonna propose, they're just in a "rough patch." Right. Says Fox News: Every couple has their problems; we're hoping that they'll have a break and work it all out," said the source. So while Romo's initial matrimonial plans seem to have been put on the back burner for the time being, the estranged duo are apparently still "talking." Calls to Simpson's rep were not returned. But what exactly are these "differences" that are causing chaos for the couple? For one, 28-year-old Romo reportedly still has a roommate and loves his freedom while Jess has already been married and divorced and has made it clear she wants to be a mom soon. "Jessica has made no secret of the fact she wants to get married, and with all the Ashlee wedding talk and Jess' dad's involvement, Tony was obviously feeling it," another source said. "I wouldn't be surprised if he just couldn't go through with the proposal and that's what's caused the break."
And by the "source" they mean Papa Joe considering he's been begging Romo to still go with Chestica to Ashlee's wedding this weekend.
Sad.
Source and Source
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Yay Beth's Coming Back!
Okay eff off you racist mullet. I'm trying to bow to the grace and beauty that is Beth, whose boobs are being blocked by your ugly mullet face.
Anywho. Even though I'd heard the shit got canceled, Dog the Bounty Hunter is returning to A&E for a fifth season.
According to AP: "It's not about ratings," A&E spokesman Michael Feeney said. "We know his heart. We know him and know he's not a racist."Scott Lonker, vice president nonfiction and alternative programming at A&E, said viewer demand for the show also weighed in the decision.
Niger Innis, national chairman of the Congress of Racial Equality, said Chapman's use of the racial slur was wrong. But he noted that Chapman "took ownership of the harm it caused" and "sought to turn his life around."Alphonso Braggs, Hawaii chapter president of the NAACP, disagreed, saying Chapman got off lightly for behavior that is "absolutely unacceptable."
"If individuals see they are able to behave inappropriately with little or no consequence, they will continue that pattern," he said.
My ass it's not about ratings. EVERYTHING is about fucking ratings. Which I don't understand, there's some other shows on A&E that are doing very well. I dunno, Dog probably got on their nerves with all this bitching and moaning. "I'm sorry please gimmie my show back! I'm so broke I can no longer afford the hair gel and boob implant surgeries for my wife! My mullet is falling! I'll never say another bad word in my life!"
Something like that. I dunno all I know is once again, my eyes will befall upon the gorgeousness that is Beth Chapman. That bitch is fabulous.
Anywho. Even though I'd heard the shit got canceled, Dog the Bounty Hunter is returning to A&E for a fifth season.
According to AP: "It's not about ratings," A&E spokesman Michael Feeney said. "We know his heart. We know him and know he's not a racist."Scott Lonker, vice president nonfiction and alternative programming at A&E, said viewer demand for the show also weighed in the decision.
Niger Innis, national chairman of the Congress of Racial Equality, said Chapman's use of the racial slur was wrong. But he noted that Chapman "took ownership of the harm it caused" and "sought to turn his life around."Alphonso Braggs, Hawaii chapter president of the NAACP, disagreed, saying Chapman got off lightly for behavior that is "absolutely unacceptable."
"If individuals see they are able to behave inappropriately with little or no consequence, they will continue that pattern," he said.
My ass it's not about ratings. EVERYTHING is about fucking ratings. Which I don't understand, there's some other shows on A&E that are doing very well. I dunno, Dog probably got on their nerves with all this bitching and moaning. "I'm sorry please gimmie my show back! I'm so broke I can no longer afford the hair gel and boob implant surgeries for my wife! My mullet is falling! I'll never say another bad word in my life!"
Something like that. I dunno all I know is once again, my eyes will befall upon the gorgeousness that is Beth Chapman. That bitch is fabulous.
Howard Stern is an Asshole
I know, the title is pretty straightforward and mean. But he is. I mean, who the fuck picks on Dolly Parton? She wouldn't kill a fly. Not even with one giant boob. She's always been sweet and I love her. Kill me.
Anyways. He did a segment on an audio book Dolly did and with the use of some creative editing, made it sound like she'd said some pretty nasty things. For example: "Kenny Rogers smells like boy cum." The rest of the audio is above, courtesy of YouTube for however long they leave it up.
Amusing, yes. But not something that Dolly would ever say in a million years. Most people know this. But Stern still deserves punishment for being a dick.
From Dolly's statement: "I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life. I cannot believe what Howard Stern has done to me. In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth. They have done editing or some sort of trickery to make this horrible, horrible thing. Please accept my apology for them and certainly know I had nothing to do with this. If there was ever going to be a lawsuit, it's going to be over this. Just wanted you to know that I am completely devastated by this."
I hope she sues. Any judge would side with her. She's Dolly Parton, dude! Some things are just sacred. Don't eff with Dolly. That is all.
Source
Everyone's Spilling the Damn Beans
Yesterday Jack Black put himself on the hit list by spilling that Angelina Jolie was not only pregnant, but expecting twins, forcing her to confirm the rumor. Now another co-star to this Kung Fu Panda flick, Dustin Hoffman, has spilled the due date of August 19th. I'm hoping she'll hang onto 'em for another week and birth on my husband's birthday. How cool would that be for him to share a birthday with offspring of the Dame Goddess? Yeah he doesn't care either I don't think.
Anywho. She has stated that they were going to keep the sex of the babies quiet, but we'll see. She's gonna have to threaten the cast of this movie with a freaking Force Choke. Yeah, you know she's one with the Force. She's a Jedi and that's how she got the Man-Slave under her control. That just explains everything.
Congrats to her I guess. More minions for Maddox to control!
Source
Anywho. She has stated that they were going to keep the sex of the babies quiet, but we'll see. She's gonna have to threaten the cast of this movie with a freaking Force Choke. Yeah, you know she's one with the Force. She's a Jedi and that's how she got the Man-Slave under her control. That just explains everything.
Congrats to her I guess. More minions for Maddox to control!
Source
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer Together
So yeah who cares. This shit is actually old news, I've just been ignoring it. Only reason why I'm now talking about it is because I really want to know: Does John Mayer really have such shitty taste in women? Didn't he date Jennifer Love Hewitt or some shit at one time? Okay she's sorta cute. And I do understand the Chestica Simpson fling. Every male wants to touch big boobies. But I refuse to understand this new thing with Jennifer Aniston. Does he have a thing for pathetic, desperate women whose careers have been shit since their hit TV show went off the air like ten years ago?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Inquiring minds want to know.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Nicole Richie and Parisite Hilton are Misinformed
Apparently Joel Madden went out one night and was seen "flirting" with Lindsay Lohan. In case you don't know [or care], Madden is Nicole Richie's baby daddy.
According to Star Magazine: The trouble started for the new mom after she decided to stay home with their 4-month-old daughter, Harlow, while Joel deejayed at Hornitos' Cinco de Mayo party at Crown Bar in L.A. However, while there, the Good Charlotte rocker seemed more interested in a seductive Lindsay than in spinning records. "Their heads were practically touching, and he had his leg over hers," says one onlooker. "Joel has a flirtatious side, and he definitely wasn't turning her away." Nicole was immediately alerted to the situation by her arch-frenemy Paris Hilton, who sent her a devastating text message: Lindsay was all over Joel! He was so zeroed in on Lindsay, he never heard his cell ring," a friend of the couple tells Star. "Nicole felt so incredibly helpless and upset that she threw her phone against the wall in a rage."
The amusing part is, apparently nobody told Nicole or Parisite that they have nothing to worry about. Lindsay has been eating tuna for a while now. Yes, she has a thing for DJ's. But the DJ must have a vagina. Problem solved, nobody has to kill Lohan.
Source
According to Star Magazine: The trouble started for the new mom after she decided to stay home with their 4-month-old daughter, Harlow, while Joel deejayed at Hornitos' Cinco de Mayo party at Crown Bar in L.A. However, while there, the Good Charlotte rocker seemed more interested in a seductive Lindsay than in spinning records. "Their heads were practically touching, and he had his leg over hers," says one onlooker. "Joel has a flirtatious side, and he definitely wasn't turning her away." Nicole was immediately alerted to the situation by her arch-frenemy Paris Hilton, who sent her a devastating text message: Lindsay was all over Joel! He was so zeroed in on Lindsay, he never heard his cell ring," a friend of the couple tells Star. "Nicole felt so incredibly helpless and upset that she threw her phone against the wall in a rage."
The amusing part is, apparently nobody told Nicole or Parisite that they have nothing to worry about. Lindsay has been eating tuna for a while now. Yes, she has a thing for DJ's. But the DJ must have a vagina. Problem solved, nobody has to kill Lohan.
Source
Jack Black is About to Die
You see Angelina smiling. What you don't see is her summoning the minions to off Jack Black. He let slip what we all freaking know - which is that she is pregnant. But he confirmed the rumor that she was preggo with twins.
According to The Superficial: Angelina Jolie confirmed today that she is definitely sporting double fetuseses. She had no choice in the matter after Jack Black accidentally spilled the beans then sang a goofy song with his guitar.
Yeah I could've used Us Magazine's quote, but it wasn't as amusing.
Anywho. I hope you enjoyed Jack Black while we had him. He's a dead man now. Look at his face. He knows it. He's trying to figure out how far of a head start he has. He's looking for exits. Run, Jack, run!
According to The Superficial: Angelina Jolie confirmed today that she is definitely sporting double fetuseses. She had no choice in the matter after Jack Black accidentally spilled the beans then sang a goofy song with his guitar.
Yeah I could've used Us Magazine's quote, but it wasn't as amusing.
Anywho. I hope you enjoyed Jack Black while we had him. He's a dead man now. Look at his face. He knows it. He's trying to figure out how far of a head start he has. He's looking for exits. Run, Jack, run!
Lunch Ruined - AGAIN!
It's like watching the birth of AIDS and herpes and bird flu and the clap all at once. Seriously. It's like a match made in crack heaven.
Amy Winehouse threw a party and of course, fellow crackhead Pete Doherty atteneded. God forbid a camera NOT be there when he decides to kiss her goodbye. Ew.
Source
Oprah Gets Canceled
Says Oprah's spokeswhore: "Oprah felt like she got a message out there. It was not something she wanted to renew."
Translation: "That show sucked out loud and got canceled."
Sounds good to me.
Translation: "That show sucked out loud and got canceled."
Sounds good to me.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Yes! Flashback City!
There's gonna be a Fraggle Rock movie! I loved this shit when I was a kid. It's an acid trip waiting to happen. I'm all over it!
Source
Chestica Not Only Probably Dumped, But Really Bad in Bed
No picture because Blogger needs it's head examined too.
So according to an email sent to the hos at The Superficial, Tony Romo not only dumped Chestica whilst drunk, he also humiliated her and made fun of her skills in the sack.
From the email: Tony Romo was in town, and he was bar hopping with some buddies of his from Chicago. He had the nerve to put Jessica on speakerphone and talk about their sex life with all his guys listening and laughing at her. Not only is this girl dumb, but she is completely self conscious about her bedroom skills. After a few too many drinks, he told everyone he and Jessica are over. They are taking a "break." He could never see himself being serious and marrying this girl. He's just having fun with her. It's funny everyone is talking about them getting married when they are completely over. Sorry Jessica, Tony had his fun with you, and now is on to bigger and better things.
Yes, bigger and better things. Because he's so fucking mature that he does that to a woman. Yes, she is dumb. We get it. But no reason to fucking humiliate the bitch in front of your drunken retarded buddies. God what an asshole.
Anyways I'm gonna stop since I just realized I'm now standing up for Big Boobs Simpson. First Britney Spears, now this? I need my head examined. Be back soon!
So according to an email sent to the hos at The Superficial, Tony Romo not only dumped Chestica whilst drunk, he also humiliated her and made fun of her skills in the sack.
From the email: Tony Romo was in town, and he was bar hopping with some buddies of his from Chicago. He had the nerve to put Jessica on speakerphone and talk about their sex life with all his guys listening and laughing at her. Not only is this girl dumb, but she is completely self conscious about her bedroom skills. After a few too many drinks, he told everyone he and Jessica are over. They are taking a "break." He could never see himself being serious and marrying this girl. He's just having fun with her. It's funny everyone is talking about them getting married when they are completely over. Sorry Jessica, Tony had his fun with you, and now is on to bigger and better things.
Yes, bigger and better things. Because he's so fucking mature that he does that to a woman. Yes, she is dumb. We get it. But no reason to fucking humiliate the bitch in front of your drunken retarded buddies. God what an asshole.
Anyways I'm gonna stop since I just realized I'm now standing up for Big Boobs Simpson. First Britney Spears, now this? I need my head examined. Be back soon!
Brooke Hogan Makes Sense
Brooke Hogan apparently had something to say regarding her brother getting put in jail. What the hell she means, I have no idea.
From her MySpace: BSCurrent mood: pissed off
Category: Life
I know most of the public thinks my brother is some rich little selfish kid, but NO ONE knows the real story and I'm really pissed that the truth didn't come out from either side. A LOT of lies were told in that trial. Believe me. And it wasn't from us. John was NEVER home. He was at our house. ALL THE TIME. that should say enough…. Im not going to be out spoken right now, but If some s*** doesn't start getting straightened out, A lot of people are going to eat their words for lieing. I know all of the truth and I have back up. I never know how twisted this world could be but I'm starting to figure it out. And I'm gonna have to jump off my high road and tackle some ppl who are taking the low road. I know you guys don't understand, but you will really really soon. Keep praying. And by the way, before you judge anybody, make sure you really know them. I promise you if you were to meet my brother he would give you the shirt off his back. He's not "NICK HOGAN." AND hes not the person he plays on tv. People are so gullible now a days…"
Apparently that didn't say what she wanted to say because she took that down and put up this gem: wtvr
I have the truth on my side. And the truth will set everyone straight sooner or later. PEACE
ps: yes I took my last one off cause I know itll go around anyway. Have at it ppl."
Whatever the hell that means. Her brother basically accepted his guilt in court but I cannot say I'm surprised that Brooke is throwing a hissy fit. Bitch.
That being said, I'm totally adding her to my friends list. I'm a MySpace whore!
Source
From her MySpace: BSCurrent mood: pissed off
Category: Life
I know most of the public thinks my brother is some rich little selfish kid, but NO ONE knows the real story and I'm really pissed that the truth didn't come out from either side. A LOT of lies were told in that trial. Believe me. And it wasn't from us. John was NEVER home. He was at our house. ALL THE TIME. that should say enough…. Im not going to be out spoken right now, but If some s*** doesn't start getting straightened out, A lot of people are going to eat their words for lieing. I know all of the truth and I have back up. I never know how twisted this world could be but I'm starting to figure it out. And I'm gonna have to jump off my high road and tackle some ppl who are taking the low road. I know you guys don't understand, but you will really really soon. Keep praying. And by the way, before you judge anybody, make sure you really know them. I promise you if you were to meet my brother he would give you the shirt off his back. He's not "NICK HOGAN." AND hes not the person he plays on tv. People are so gullible now a days…"
Apparently that didn't say what she wanted to say because she took that down and put up this gem: wtvr
I have the truth on my side. And the truth will set everyone straight sooner or later. PEACE
ps: yes I took my last one off cause I know itll go around anyway. Have at it ppl."
Whatever the hell that means. Her brother basically accepted his guilt in court but I cannot say I'm surprised that Brooke is throwing a hissy fit. Bitch.
That being said, I'm totally adding her to my friends list. I'm a MySpace whore!
Source
Goth Family!
So Queen Angelina brought out the two princesses Zahara and Shiloh and they were definately doing their best all-black goth impression. I'm used to Angie always looking like she's going to an effing funeral or My Chemical Romance concert, but they all look sorta blah, don't they? Oh well it's Angelina so I can't hate that bad. Maybe the Man-Slave ruined all their colors in the wash. Maddox needs to watch his ass a little closer.
Source
Source
Chestica Might be Dumped on Her Ass
Rumor has it that Chestica Simpson's football boyfriend might have dumped her. Wow, just in time for Ashlee and Pete's "secret" wedding this weekend! Coinsidence? Fuck no.
Tony Romo had a bachelor-style hard partying weekend in the Windy City these past couple of days and now we know why. We exclusively have learned that Romo and girlfriend Jessica Simpson have broken up! Romo partied with several of his college buddies from his alma mater Eastern Illinois over the weekend and he told them on Saturday night that him and Simpson were on the outs. “They’re broken up,” according to a pal of the Dallas Cowboys quarterback. “He told us they broke up and that was that. We’re guys so we didn’t talk about it much.”
Whatever he was tired of her ass. The end.
I'm Not Surprised
In LA, I think you could run someone over with your damned Mercedes and make it outta jail in less than a day. Seriously.
Yesterday Scott Weiland checked himself into jail at 8:55 AM to start his 192 hour jail sentence to get it done on time for his reunion tour with Stone Temple Pilots that's set to start in Ohio on the 17th. Well, they let his ass go after ten hours. Seriously, what the hell?
Oh well. At least I know the bitch will be here for RockFest. Now I just need that bitch Moose to answer the damn phone when I'm trying to win tickets. Hey, I'd buy 'em but I'm a broke ass ho. Hostess snack cakes don't buy themselves!
Source
Yesterday Scott Weiland checked himself into jail at 8:55 AM to start his 192 hour jail sentence to get it done on time for his reunion tour with Stone Temple Pilots that's set to start in Ohio on the 17th. Well, they let his ass go after ten hours. Seriously, what the hell?
Oh well. At least I know the bitch will be here for RockFest. Now I just need that bitch Moose to answer the damn phone when I'm trying to win tickets. Hey, I'd buy 'em but I'm a broke ass ho. Hostess snack cakes don't buy themselves!
Source
What the Hell is that Shit on Her Head???
This is Sarah Jessica Parker at the Sex and the City movie premiere and apparently, she stopped by a fucking forest on the way and glued a bunch of grass and shit to her head on the way. Seriously, who let her leave the damn limo looking this freaking stupid?
She probably only did it so we'd pay attention to her horse face and not the other bitches. Well, Kim Cattral was always my favorite, so suck that SJP! Take that and glue it to your head!
Monday, May 12, 2008
They Got the Ol' Pillow Back Out!
Ah rumors are floating around about Katie-Kate wanting to get knocked up again, so the angry midget must've placed another order for another kid to be grown in the $cientology cabbage patch. Until then, we get to see the musical pillow game she played when she was "preggo" with Suri.
Although, she's probably not pregnant. She's probably just bloated from all that barley water. If she really was "preggo" he'd be gloating all over town, sucking up the publicity
This picture is from them watching Tom's man-crush, David Beckham, playing soccer.
Source
More Proof Heather Mills is Evil Incarnate
Maria Rybkina is a Russian mother who lost her legs in 2003 in an accident. She had been begging on the streets for money to pay for her surgeries and some fake legs. A British couple, Robin and Inna Barratt, sympathized with her plight and began trying to help her raise the money. Being that they are not richer than hell, they contacted Heather Mills' foundation for help.
Mills' foundation is for people who are victims of land mines, so it could not help Maria. So Mills promised to use her own personal funds to help the woman get the surgeries and legs she needed.
Says Robin: "She promised she would also provide all the medical support needed to get her walking again. She told us that because her charity only helped victims of landmines, she would support Maria from her own personal finances." Heather even flew to Moscow and posed for a few pictures with Maria.
Well time went by and that old bitch made promise after promise and Maria didn't see one red cent that was promised to her by Mills. The British couple finally found a company to help Maria and she now has legs and can walk again. Nevermind the fact that Heather Mills told her divorce judge she needed like a million bucks to do her charible work.
She's still an evil bitch and I can't wait for karma to pay her ass back.
Source
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