Madonna is a Germ-Phobe

On her current tour, one of Madonna's stipulations is that she gets a new toilet seat at each venue. Once installed, the wrapping must be left on the seat so her people can verify that it is in fact, a new seat. Then after they leave, the seat must be destroyed so as not to be sold on ebay or whatever.

Besides that, she has other demands as well: "She also requires three candles to protect her from negative vibes and mean-spiritedness, a relaxing foot spa complete with lavender and camomile body soak, plenty of Kabbalah water, and a love seat. Madonna, 47, also insists her dressing room is covered with white drapes and white roses - the symbolic colour of her Kabbalah faith."

Sounds right on track for our Maddy. If she wants it, she gets it. Don't mess with Madonna.

Chestica's Mom is Tired of Her Pervy Husband

Chestica Simpson was recently doing a photo shoot for OK! magazine, and the deal was she was supposed to be laying scantly clad in a bed, with a man standing behind her buttoning up his shirt. The shoot was okayed by her pervy dad, Joe, but her mom, Tina, intervened and demanded it be changed.

According to Female First: "Tina was shouting: 'Time out! Hold it. Nope, this isn't going to work.' She said the pose was too risque and made Jessica look slutty ... (Tina said) 'Trust me, I'm her mother. This isn't the image we want.' "

Apparently, FINALLY, Tina is realizing her husband is creepy and nasty and has waaaaay too much interest in his daughter's boobies. THANK GOD.

Bah.

Apparently Maria Menounos is now dating Vin Diesel. Yeah. Bitch.

They met when Maria interviewed Vin for Access Hollywood. They had an attraction, and only now started dating. Once again I say, bitch. Blah.

Yes, I am jealous. He is hot shit. Seriously. Which is why I posted that beautiful picture, and did not even bother with the chick. If you want to see her, click my source in the link of this story. Or just stare at the beauty that is Vin Diesel. Awwwww.....

TomKat Still Getting Married

Tom Cruise and Katie-Kate are still supposed to get married this summer. With a prenup like that, I'd marry his troll ass too.

Now, where is Suri?



Oh yeah. There she is.

BAH! HA HA HHAHAHAA!!!

This is effing awesome. It has made my weekend, seriously. Only way it would be better now, would be if Tom Cruise finally admitted the whole hoax that is Suri.

Mel Gibson has been arrested for a DWI. Which means, bitch was drunk, and got his ass pulled over. Oh man. So great. Passion of the Drunk, man.

Ew. Just, Ew.

Apparently, Pamela Anderson wants to downgrade. She's marrying Kid Rock this weekend. Not that Tommy Lee is the sexiest man ever or anything, but seriously. Just about ANYBODY looks cleaner and less redneckish than Kid Rock. But hey, if they're happy, more power to 'em.

Said Pam on her website: "Yes. I'm finally getting remarried...it's been a whirlwind...spontaneous but well thought through. Feels like I've been stuck in a time warp. Not able to let go of MY family picture...it's been sad and lonely and frustrating....I've raised my kids alone in hope of a miracle. Well my miracle came and went. And came back and came back because he knew that I'd wake up one day and realize that I was waiting for nothing. I'm moving on...I feel like I'm finally free....I'm in love. I'm happy....I see the light...sounds dramatic but it's true.....I know some women can relate to this....My children are getting older. They know the truth and they are strong, smart kids. They love their Dad. They love their new Step Dad who they've known for years...time will pass. Wounds will heal. Some people may never grow up. Actions speak louder than words....watch!"

I can't say that I understand it, but sounds like she's happy to me. Congrats, Pam!

Madonna Wants to be Angelina Jolie

Supposedly, Madonna and Guy Ritchie are thinking of adopting a baby. Ritchie's father is the one who blabbed their plans to the press.

According to Daddy-in-law and In Touch magazine: "Nothing would make me happier than ifthey adopt. How lovely to have another one.

"I'm sure Rocco and Lourdes would love it as they are so close and anothersibling would be super. It is the children that keep them together."

Five-year-old Rocco is the son the married couple had together, while Lourdes is Madonna's nine-year-old daughter by her former partner CarlosLeon.

It is believed Guy and Madonna have made tentative plans to adopt a babyfrom the Vista del Mar Child and Family Services center, in California, andhave already begun the lengthy adoption process.

A source revealed: "They've begun the application process and are currentlyundergoing an evaluation typical of adoptive parents.

"So far, they've been interviewed and fingerprinted to begin the process."

So either the Dame Goddess Angelina Jolie has inspired yet another celebrity couple, or Madonna's eggs hate the leotards too and have refused to make any more babies.

Yeah, That's a Trustworthy Source...

Lindsay Lohan is claiming that redheads are "more sexual." Her reference for this educated statement? Playboy. Yeah, give me a break.

Says Linds the scientist: "I have this Playboy book called Redheads in my room and I was reading all these things about how redheads are more passionate, and apparently they're much more sexual than girls with other hair colors. I think I'm more sexual than my friends. More comfortable in my skin."

Now she thinks she has an excuse. "I can't help that I'm a slut! I'm a redhead!" Phhhpht. Bitch please.

Chestica is Still an Idiot

The Enquirer is claiming to have a letter that was written by Chestica Simpson to ex-husband Nick Lachey, that she would have written him just after their divorce was final. It said in part:

"I am so sorry, Nick. Sorry I couldn't be the wife you wanted me to be. Sorry we couldn't have tried harder. But most of all I'm sorry I lost you. Know that a part of me will always love you, Nick. Always. And a part of you will always be in my heart."

We who? She got Adam Levine in her pocket? If I recall correctly, Nick wasn't the one who wanted the divorce. I still hate this bitch, sorry.

Privacy Please!

Apparently, Eminem was at some strip club in Detroit, and went to use the toilet. Whilst urinating, a man burst into the bathroom and was yapping at Em mid-stream. Em's bodyguards were hassling the guy, and "Miad J", who was peeing in the next urinal, asked the bodyguards to leave the fan alone.

So what does Eminem do? Finishes pissing, and socks the guy in the face, then leaves.

"Eminem got done and boom," Miad recounts. "He started swinging."

"I wasn’t even expecting it," Miad said. "I was just minding my own business, taking a leak." After he was punched, Miad says Eminem left the club and Cheetah’s bouncers threw Em's bodyguards out of the club.

When a car in Em’s entourage was pulling out from the club, witnesses tell police the rapper known as Trick Trick pulled out a gun and waved it around, but he didn't point it anyone.

Well geez, I know I'd punch someone in the face for bothering me when I'm peeing. Geez, just ask my husband.

My Daily Amusement - Tribute

Even if you're not into metal, you should so watch this video. This song is amazing. It's In This River by Black Label Society. Frontman Zakk Wylde wrote this for his best friend "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott, who if you were alive in the 90's, you should know he played guitar for Pantera. He was a fucking amazing musician, and by all accounts, a great person. In 2004, he was shot and killed while onstage playing with his new band, Damageplan.

My husband and his best friend are HUGE fans of Dime and BLS, and are going to see the Black Label Society/Ozzy Osbourne show in Kansas City tonight. And I'm jealous and wish I could go, so I'm posting my favorite BLS song. So there.

Another Reason Why Angelina Jolie is Better than Jennifer Aniston

Really, I cannot hide the fact that I think Jennifer Aniston is a whiney crybaby. Initially, I felt bad for her when she and Brad Pitt divorced. Now, I wish she'd shut up and go kiss Vince Vaughn's ass.

A Mighty Heart is a film in the works in Brad Pitt's production company. He's set to produce it, and the film is about Daniel Pearl, the reporter who was kidnapped and eventually murdered by Muslim terrorists in 2002. The rumor was that Aniston was to play Marianne Pearl, Daniel's wife, who was six months pregnant when Daniel was killed.

Says Pitt: "The film will focus on the deep collaboration between people around the world in search of Daniel in 2002. We hope the film can increase understanding between people of all faiths and portray the story and the people involved as honestly as possible without anger or judgment."

They claim there was no solid plans to have Aniston play Marianne, which is good, because she'd totally ruin it. The rumor is now that Dame Goddess Angelina Jolie is to take the role, which kicks ass because The Goddess can actually act.

So yes, this is yet another reason why Jennifer Aniston isn't even good enough to lick Angie's shoes. So there.

Yeah, You Really Have No Room to Talk

Another pearl of wisdom from Parisite Hilton:

"A lot of women are too thin. I think the ones who are getting really skinny look gross."

Pot? Meet kettle.

Picture is the Parisite on TRL.

Madonna Wants to Lead Lohan

I brushed on this earlier, but Madonna was none too pleased after teaching Britney Spears the way of the Kabbalah, Spears dumped it after birthing Sean Preston. Now, Maddy has turned her sights onto Lindsay Lohan, whom she has christened Rose.

Really, there are worse religions than Kabbalah. Like The Church of Tom Cruise. I mean, Scientology. So really, it could be worse. Go, Linds.

Daily Amusement - Hot Shit

So on the way into work this morning I totally dug out my Sixteen Stone album by Bush. It reminded me of how much they kicked ass and how much I frigging loved Gavin Rossdale when I was 15.

Here is Glycerine, which is an awesome video. Enjoy, and don't drool on your keyboards.

Someone Actually Pays to Have This Weirdo Show Up?

Apparently, if you want KFed to represent your product, his asking price is a not-so-inexpensive $20,000. Recently, he did the "Save the Penny" crap, and some other spokeswhores gigs. Britney is behind him 100%, which isn't a shocker because she's probably damn tired of buying his wife beaters and cars.

Now, I'm sure if your company sells these things, you'd love having the king of white trash as your spokeswhore. But otherwise, ew.

How Effing Classy is This?

Brothers Nick and Aaron Carter got into a fistfight hours before making an announcement about some shit reality show their family did. They were set to talk to E! about their show.

" Nick told People, "Eh, we're brothers, it happened." Aaron said, "Yeah, we're brothers, but this time ..." He showed off a bruise near his hairline, above his left eye.

"Aaron jumped me and I jumped him back," Nick said. Their sister, Angel, said a cameraman broke up the fight. "You'll see it on the show," said Aaron. "

That show sounds like one hot mess. Seriously, this is classy shit here.

Chad Lowe is Angry

Chad Lowe and Hilary Swank are getting a divorce, and recently, Swank did an interview with Vanity Fair magazine. She revealed that Lowe used to be addicted to drugs but has now cleaned up. Even though she and her lawyers are claiming they warned Lowe about the fact that she said that stuff, he's claiming otherwise, and he's not a happy camper.

According to DListed: "he "was pretty surprised that Hilary would bring (his problem) into the equation" during her interview with Vanity Fair, and "isn't ashamed of his struggle, but he really wishes Hilary wouldn't have talked publicly now." So true. Everyone still seems baffled as to why, when Hilary was confronted by the Vanity Fair reporter about Chad's alleged substance abuse, started flapping her big gums instead of saying a simple, "no comment."

Rumor is she only did it so she'd make the cover of Vanity Fair with that interview. If that's true, she's one stone cold bitch, man. That's private shit.

Lohan Earns Her Paycheck

Supposedly, Lindsay Lohan is filming a movie in this picture. Really, I think she's just keeping her co-star happy, whoever he is. But she must not be doing a very good job, he looks bored as hell. More pictures in the link in the title of Linds totally earning her paycheck, as well as a few of her not in some man's lap. Heh. A joke in some form would go great here, but it's just too obvious.

Star Jones Needs to Go Away

Star Jones got fired from The View. She tried to act all hurt by it, but really, nobody cares. America just did a collective happy dance when it happened. But still, the media keeps talking to her. They can't just let her drift off into has-been land where she belongs, her and her flamingly gay husband.

This article is Star on some show called House Hunters. And I only posted it so I could once again rant about how much I cannot stand her and how weird her face looks. Seriously, her eyes are about to bug out of her head. THAT, would be funny. I'd watch that.

KFed Hangs Out With His Other Kids

Apparently, Britney Spears has decreed that KFed is not to visit his ex, Shar Jackson, even to see his kids, without Brit Brit supervising. Yeah, I seem to remember an incident involving her finding him in his underwear at Shar's house, trying to claim one of his kids threw up on his clothes or some shit. I'm just sayin', Britney's not crazy, she knows her man's a whore.

Anyway, according to Crunk + Disorderly and OhNoTheyDidn't: "A report set for publication this week will claim that Britney Spears doesn't know that her hubby Kevin Federline is set to record a duet with his ex-wife Shar Jackson. Star lays the groundwork by reporting that last weekend, Kevin Federline snuck out of the house to see kids Kori, and Kaleb – without Britney's permission. Maybe she should have moved to Louisiana.

The report claims that Brit doesn’t allow Kevin to see the kids without her presence. Calling her "Controlling Brit" Star Magazine reports Britney is the polar opposite of Kev’s easy going ex-wife, Shar. “Shar is always sympathetic when Kevin comes to pick up the kids and pour his troubles out to her,” an insider tells the weekly magazine.hen they drop the bomb.

According to the report - a romantic duet is in the works with Kevin and Shar. The duo plan to record a newer version of Bobbi Brown’s hit “Get Away.” The speculation in the article is there may be a message there. A source tells the magazine that Kevin “hasn’t told Britney about it…And when she finds out, I think she’ll go ballistic. When Britney hears that Kevin is getting back together with Shar…I think it could be the last straw for her.”

Heh. Yeah, Shar is broke, and totally NOT famous, so I don't see this happening. KFed sure doesn't work for a living. He's a professional sponge.

Aw, Tour's Over

Nine Inch Nails' summer tour of the U.S. has ended, and they'll probably not tour again for another five frigging years. So that means no more semi-daily Trent Reznor pictures for me! Dammit. I'll have to comfort myself with the Closer video.

Heh. Yeah. Good idea. See ya'll later!

My Daily Amusement - Freaking Awesome

I don't watch or give a shit about the damn World Cup, but this is pretty damn awesome. Dude was tired of losing I guess, since the guys in the blue shirts are the Italians, and they totally won, because Dude headbutts Italian guy. And it is freaking sweet.

Chestica Isn't Happy

Chestica Simpson claims she has not dated since her split with ex-hubby Nick Lachey. This part is true, she hasn't DATED, per se. But as far as sex, yeah she's been busy. Bam Margera, Johnny Knoxville, Adam Levine (who dumped her ass via text message - awesome!), and most recently, Dane Cook. She and Cook co-starred in some movie called Employee of the Month, which I'd like to see since I'm a huge fan of Dane. But having to look at Chestica attempt to act again might make me want to kill myself.

Anyways, she claims she and Cook are only "really close friends."

Says Boobs: "Every time I feel frustrated, I'll e-mail him and he'll e-mail back with a suggestion."

But what she doesn't realize is "Come over and give me a blow job and you'll magically feel all better," isn't a valid suggestion.

Katie-Kate's Family May Boycott Her Wedding

A "family friend" has told Life & Style magazine that Katie-Kate Holmes' parents are not planning to attend the upcoming nuptials of their daughter to freakshow Tom Cruise. They are doing this because their daughter is not being married in a Catholic church, but in a Scientology ceremony conducted by the Cult's leader. (Not L. Ron Hubbard, they couldn't dig his ass up, I think he was cremated or some shit. But Tom woulda done it if he could.)

Says the article: "(Life and Style magazine ) quotes a family friend as saying that Martin and Kathleen Holmes are not happy with their daughter's choice of where to marry. Martin Holmes allegedly told the friend, 'Katie can have a proper Catholic wedding her whole family will gladly be a part of.' "

In other TomKat news, TMZ has some interesting developments regarding the birth certificate of one Suri Cruise. They also have a copy of said certificate. Clicky on link to check it out, it's kinda interesting and supports my theory that Suri is not in fact, human, just a baked potato with magic marker eyes.

http://www.tmz.com/2006/07/11/exclusive-cruise-shields-births-new-twist/

Yeah Right.

Parisite Hilton has said she is swearing off sex for a year. Obviously, I don't believe her. I mean, who would?

"I'm doing it just because I want to. I feel I'm becoming stronger as a person.
"Every time I have a boyfriend, I'm just so romantic, and I'll put all my energy into the guy, and I don't really pay attention to myself."

I give it a week.

Holy Hell!

Supposedly, according to DListed and Star magazine, both of these pictures of hands are Madonna's. The picture on the right is heavily airbrushed. Day-um, I'll say!

RIP Syd Barrett

Syd Barrett, member of the original lineup of Pink Floyd, passed away at his home in England earlier this week. Syd famously did a LOT of LSD and wigged out, and left the band. He's been a real recluse, and for the past couple years, had been living a peaceful life at his mom's, which is awesome considering the hell this poor guy went through. He was 60, and they didn't disclose the cause of his death, but it is known that he had suffered from diabetes for several years.

My sympathies go out to his family and to the current members of Pink Floyd, who had remained close to him.

(In the photo, Syd Barrett is the person on the top right.)

Parisite Hilton Airs Out Her Crotch

Link in the title of this post takes you over to DListed, where they have posted some pictures that are pretty much guaranteed to make you vomit. Parisite is sitting down somewhere, and her vah-jay-jay area is clearly visible, and so therefore, the pictures are VERY not-safe-for-work. And they are really, not safe for anybody. But if MY morbid curiousity made me look, everyone else should too. So there.

My Daily Amusement - Mindfreak

Recently I rediscovered magician Criss Angel, and therefore decided that David Blaine can kiss my skinny white ass. Criss is not only hot shit, but the stuff he does scares the hell out of me. It's actual magic, not just stunts, like marinating yourself in a globe of water for a week for the hell of it.

Here's a trick from a special I saw on Criss' show on A&E, Mindfreak:



Oh man after I posted that, I found an even better trick I saw a long time ago, and forgot all about it, because I probably blocked it out. But it was awesome and nightmare-inducing at the same time! Watch it, I command you!



Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6gR1ItdxGg

Trent is Angry With Me.

Aw, there's our Trent Reznor, breaking things. I'm sorry, Trent, I know I haven't been posting much lately, but you see, not all of us get to make millions of dollars doing cool shit like singing fucking amazing music and looking sexy. Some of us have to have REAL jobs. It's no fun, I tell ya. But you go on being sexy. I enjoy that. That and the music helps as well. But if you're just going to throw a perfectly good guitar, you should just give it to me. Thanks.

KFed Tries an Excuse. I Don't Believe Him.

KFed is trying to say that his first single, PopoZao, was actually a joke song, meant to lure people to the rest of his material, which sucks just as bad.

Says KFed: "At first, when I put out PopoZao, people were kinda laughing at me. I did it on purpose so people would look at me exactly the way they did. That way, when I come out with my real shit, people are fucking blown away."

Yeah, people are still laughing at your dumb ass.

Pam Anderson Back With Kid Rock. Ew.

This is Pam Anderson on vacation with her two sons, and Kid Rock, who actually looks like he may have bathed within the last decade. However, he is still ew.

See?? I Was Right. Suri is All Made Up.

Apparently, I'm not the only one who is questioning the existance of Suri Cruise. Not only have there been no public sightings of the supposed daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie-Kate Holmes, but their own friends haven't seen the baby.

"Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have yet to show off their spawn to fellow Scientologists John Travolta, Kelly Preston and Lisa Marie Presley. Even good pals Will and Jada Pinkett Smith supposedly have not met the newborn despite repeated calls to Cruise ... 'Every time, it's a different excuse: He's busy or Kate's not feeling well,' said a source. '[The Smiths] think it's so weird.' "

Yeah, I knew it. She's a dellusion from the mind of Tom Cruise. Katie-Kate just goes along with it so she can get the money from their pre-nup.

Layla is an Employed Bitch

So I took a new job position which requires me to do more work, so my updates will probably not be as often as they used to be. I apologize, and believe me, I feel all naked being this effing behind on things. Hell, I checked out D Listed this morning and saw that Chestica's and Nick Lachey's divorce was almost final! Gebus.

Anywho, I hope to do a massive weekly update instead of a daily one. We shall see, depending on my schedule.

Peace!