Ewwwww! Ew Ew Ew Ew!!!!

The National Enquirer is claiming there's a sex tape about to be released featuring Britney Spears and Adnan Gablibwhateverhisnameis. EW!

"Word is that the video starts with Britney undressing," said the insider. "She was wearing some cheap clothes that she bought down there in Rosarito. The sex wasn't particularly kinky but Britney wears a pink wig throughout. At one point in the tape Adnan asks the singer to remove the pink bob but she refused. "Adnan tells her to take it off at one point and she says coyly, 'Take what off? There's nothing left to take off.'"

Hey I know I stood up for her a few weeks ago, but it doesn't mean I wanna see her have nasty fat Frappicino-lubed sex with some dude. Just, ew. This to go with the rumor that she is now knocked up with this dude's child. Can't anybody in this family figure out how a condom works?

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Bam Maybe Did, Maybe Didn't Eff Some Chick

So the New York Post Page Six is claiming there's a sex tape involving Bam Margera and the fiance of Opie from the Opie and Anthony Radio Show and it was going to be sold by a disgruntled ex-employee of the radio show.

From the article: THE sex-mad "Opie & Anthony" radio show is facing its own carnal comeuppance. Gregg "Opie" Hughes is said to be livid over an X-rated romp starring his stunning blond fiancée, known by her first name, Lindsay, and MTV wildman Bam Margera. A disgruntled ex-employee of the radio duo recently acquired rights to the video from Margera and it's soon to be released on a pay-for-play Web site, reports Steppin' Out's Chaunce Hayden. "They're doing the nasty - and I mean nasty," Hayden says. Apparently, Opie is so distraught, he's banned the name 'Bam' from being mentioned on the show." Hayden says Lindsay was living in Philadelphia, Margera's stomping grounds, when she met him and made the tape "to gain some exposure."

However, this is all BS. After Opie got pissed and banned the word "bam" from the show, Margera phoned into the show and did an interview stating as such.

Says Bam: "I think it's nonsense... if I filmed it, I filmed it myself. I never even heard of those dudes."

Chaunce Hayden had now admitted he never saw a sex tape, and that it doesn't exist.

Most importantly, the idea of Bam Margera having sex with anyone icks me out. Dude looks like he hasn't seen a bottle of shampoo in about a decade. But I guess when you have a hot wife and a shit ton of money from Jackass movies, skateboard sponsor money and whatnot, you can look like Human Body Odor all you want.

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Dita Von Teese Joined the Club

Not to be outdone, a sex tape featuring Dita Von Teese has surfaced. Before you vomit at the thought of her ex Marilyn Manson naked, take comfort in the fact that this tape was before his time. Apparently it's with her and some chicks and some really weird sex toys.

The Sun says: Explicit clips of the 35-year-old being spanked and pleasured with a bizarre sex toy by women have emerged online. It is a blow to Wonderbra who only launched her as the new face of their famous push-up bra last month. They hoped Dita - real name Heather Sweet - would enhance the company's clean-cut image by designing her own limited edition collection. But the sleazy flick - shot before she rose to fame - will shock lingerie bosses. In one scene the former wife of goth rocker MARILYN MANSON romps with a leggy beauty with a sex toy. In another she cavorts with two stunners in corsets."

Meh who is surprised? Not me. Follow the link in the title of this to get to IDLYITW.com which has an obviously NSFW link to clips from the video. Get back to me and let me know if it's worth watching because my ass is at work and we can't watch dirty sex stuff here. I know, what the hell else are you supposed to do at work, anyway?