The Spike TV Guy's Awards Were Rigged

Cameron Diaz paid a bitch off to win the "Decade of Hotness" award. Because I do not know a single straight male who thinks Diaz is even remotely attractive. She's one hot pizza faced mess.

Whatever. She just wanted that trophy to masterbate with. God knows she can't keep a man.

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Cameron Diaz is an Ugly Hag

About a year ago, Justin Timberlake awoke from a nightmare and realized "Holy shit! I'm having sex with what??!?!" Then ran screaming like a bat out of hell for Jessica Biel. Granted, Biel is no Angelina Jolie but after Cameran Diaz, a small troll is more attractive.

Anyway, point to my story is Diaz is rationalizing why nobody wants to fuck her.

From Us Magazine: "It's been nice not having a boyfriend for the past year," she says in the new issue of British GQ. "In fact, it's the first time I haven't had one in 10 years, and I'm enjoying what I'm getting out of this moment. "I could be in a relationship if I wanted to be, but I haven't finished doing what I'm doing," she added..."I'm a lot of woman - in a lot of ways," she says. "And I understand that can be intimidating."

Yeah, if she wanted to, she could totally be in a relationship with that homeless bum she saw on the subway. I get the feeling she's about as pleasant as road rash. Her and Parisite Hilton should be buddies.

Kelly Slater Denies Diaz

Supposedly, Cameron Diaz and her ugly pimply face raced to the side of this hotness, Kelly Slater after getting dumped by Justin Timberlake. The rumor goes on to say that Diaz told her friends Slater was packin' large. Obviously, he has denied they have done it, since nobody would admit they saw that shit naked.

When asked, he said she was doing well after the breakup with Justin and that he and Cameron are "just friends." Yeah like I said. You wouldn't cop to it either. Ew.