It's a Nice Day for a Lesiban Wedding

The Daily Star is reporting that Lesiban Lohan has been telling people she's gonna marry her lesbo lover Samantha Ronson. Her spokeswhores are still denying she's bumping vaginas with the DJ.

She's been wearing an engagement ring on her ring finger this past weekend at Cannes. Rumor is that she's been saying she's planning at wedding at Dollywood in July. Yes, you read that right. Dollywood. I would give my left boob to witness this trash. Maybe Mommy Lohan will document it on her shitty reality show. That is, if she would quit denying that her daughter is a flaming firecrotch lesbian.

Her dad, however, knows the truth. He told Us Weekly his daughter's relationship "is evident to anyone with half a brain." Says a lot about his ex-wife.

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Chestica is Still Feeling Left Out

In a rumor certainly started by Boobs herself, apparently her and her football guy are "engaged." She was at some party at P. Diddy's house and some shit happened, and now there's a rumor.

Without her Dallas Cowboy boyfriend Tony Romo to keep her in check, Simpson cracked the whip on the arm of pal Zach Braff until the wee hours. Her former assistant CaCee Cobb and Cobb's "Scrubs" beau Donald Faison toasted to a great night and (interestingly) Jessica's "happiness." "I have never felt better," the blonde bombshell was heard telling the close-knit group, adding that she was "just so excited." Jess was toasting with a glass of champagne, so we're assuming she isn't "expecting"...but could an engagement ring be en route?"

Yeah I have no idea how toasting to her "happiness" means she roped a dumbass into marrying her. All I know is God forbid her sister have any limelight, no matter how annoying they both are.

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