Would You Give this Guy a Ride?

Believe it or not, this is Jude Law on the way to the dentist. Bitch looks hungover!

Pamela Anderson Suffers Miscarriage

Spokeswhores for Pamela Anderson have confirmed that she has suffered a miscarriage in the early stages of pregnancy. Apparently she and her doctor believe it's from the stress of filming the movie Blonde and Blonder where she co-stars with Denise Richards.

“She will keep trying. She really wants another baby with Bob,” says the source.

Miscarriages are hard, whether you planned the pregnancy or not. My thoughts go out to her and her husband. Hope she is well.

FedEx Has Always Been Broke

To further the fact that he'll probably end up homeless, a bounced check has shown up on ebay of FedEx's. It was written to pay rent for whatever crackhouse he was living in before he met and started sponging off of Britney Spears. I found it amusing.

Britney's New Brain Sticks Around for a While

One of the few bits of the prenup that benefit FedEx completely is one that states that he alone would get all proceeds from the sale of any photos of their kids. So of course, Britney is shopping for a magazine that would like to buy rights to pictures of their new baby, whom is apparently named Jayden James. The catch, she's gonna give away these pictures, FOR FREE. Ha!

According to WWD and WWTDD.com: Not only is Spears newly K-Fed-free, she is now offering photos of her second son, Jayden James, born in September — and gratis for the right magazine. Sources say Spears has sidestepped her usual go-to venue, People, which ran the first photos of the then-happy family in December. Instead, she's gunning for the prestige of a monthly or bimonthly, hoping to rehabilitate her flagging image in the TomKat/Vanity Fair mold.

So friggin' awesome.

Apparently the final straw for her was this past weekend, when she showed up for a dinner with FedEx, only to find out he'd stood her up so he could go party with his stupid friends. A woman scorned, man...

Picture of Britney at that dinner:



I have to say, except for the hair, she's looking pretty good. She's got her figure back, that's for sure.

FedEx is an Idiot

Supposedly, FedEx had planned to file for divorce first. He had a lawyer, and a feeble plan to fight the airtight prenup he and Britney signed. However, given the fact that being married to her is the ONLY fame he ever had, I don't buy this story.

Some other rumors regarding details of the prenup, and how he found out are being dispelled. According to TMZ.com and WWTDD.com:
TMZ is reporting that Kevin Federline had been speaking to an attorney for over a month about divorcing Britney Spears and challenging the prenup. They go on to say that pervious reports are mistaken, and Kevin will not get 50 percent of the value of their shared Malibu home - estimated at 10 million - but only 20 percent. He will also not get $360,000 for one year of spousal support. They say he will get less than $250,000. Another erroneous report said that Kevin only learned of the divorce when he was told by Britney in a text message. In fact, she didn't even do that, and Kevin did not learn that he was being divorced until the story broke online. TMZ says:

…for now, Spears will not comment on K-Fed's plan to fight her for custody of their two children. We know, however, that Spears sees K-Fed's move as nothing more than an attempt to score some money. He's banking on Spears forking over dough to avoid a fight; an unlikely outcome -- given the fact that she's represented by legal pit bull Laura Wasser.

FedEx fighting for full custody of the kids is just a ploy to get child support payments. I've seen the likes of him in drug-addicted single mothers many times. No court of law would give that skanky ass custody of anything, let alone another human being. I highly doubt Britney's lawyers are worried.

In another bit of FedEx news, apparently he performed in Chicago at the House of Blues. One of Trent's readers over at Pink is the New Blog was lucky enough to attend, and she sent along this eyewitness account:
[T]he crowd was pretty much wasted--there was a whole group of people dressed up AS K-Fed who could barely stand up by the time he actually came onstage. But when he did, the place went a little nuts. After a few songs, a some people were shouting Britney's name and some guys were shouting FED-EX and had signs. Eventually, the guy K-Fed raps with said, "Yeah, we have FedEx accounts... and for all you haters, thanks for supporting our cause!" At which point the place erupted in laughter because NOBODY PAID FOR THEIR TICKETS! It was like a $2 "convenience fee" or something, but HoB was giving them away online. Kevin also made some crack about "keeping the Ferrari," which illuminated a rather sad aspect of his whole show--the guy's got a TON of lyrics about his high-spending lifestyle. Which the entire world knows is now OVER ... He and the guy he raps with were both inviting everybody to the afterparty at Cabaret (I hope you get a report from that... yikes), and Kevin made a few remarks about the fine ladies of Chicago, how we should come to the party because he's a free man now. Stay away! The world doesn't need more K-Fed offspring! K-Fed started getting a little agitated, it seemed, toward the end of the show. I think people were yelling stuff at him, and there were definitely projectiles--beer cans, a sweatshirt, a blown up condom balloon bouncing around. Everybody was pretty much egging him on and heckling him all night.

Ah, very refreshing. Especially the bit about him having to give away tickets in order for anyone to show up to his sorry ass concert. I love the sad attempt that his buddies made at standing up for him.
Source: http://trent.blogspot.com/2006/11/thar-he-blows.html

Die in the lands of the has-been, dumbass!

In Other Celeb Divorce News...

Reese Witherspoon has officially filed for divorce from Ryan Phillippe.

According to People magazine, he has released this statement: "I'm not a perfect person, but I'mnot guilty of a lot of the things I have been accused of. My priority is andalways has been the health and safety of my family."

His spokeswhores have denied he's been partying or screwing around. He and Reese were married for seven years.

Day of Glee: Part Two: Ginormous Britney Post

Britney boobs picture source: http://dlisted.com/2006/11/07/wonky-boobs/

So according to an annoymous reader of Michael K's over at DListed, the whole divorce thing is just to "scare" KFed into behaving.

According to the "source:" MK – Don’t believe the Britney divorce. I’m sort of in with her circle of friends and I know for a fact she’s not going to leave him. She’s just doing this to scare him and gain some sympathy votes from the media. She went on Letterman, cause Kevin thought she was at the hotel crying over him. She is using the divorce to scare him. They are already talking to each other and texting all the time on their mobiles. She always threatened divorce on him and he never believed her. She’s hoping he will change his ways. I think she also knows that this can change her image and is using it. They will get back together. Shit, I wouldn’t be surprised if they are already back together.

If this is true, then someone needs to sit Britney down and let her know that you cannot change a man. Once the fear of losing his cash cow passes and he's comfy again, he'll be partying and spending her money again. It won't be long 'til she's sitting at home, pregnant and miserable.

That being said, if this shit is false, Britney can eat shit. I won't root for her dumb ass anymore.
Source: http://dlisted.com/2006/11/07/rumorz-is-this-britney-divorce-thing-fake/

NEXT!
If the divorce is in fact happening, then THANK GOD they signed a prenup. KFed or FedEx, whatever you'd like to call him, won't walk away with too much.

According to Best Week Ever:
- K-Fed won’t touch a penny of Britney’s money. All the millions belonging to Britney will stay that way.
- The mansion will be divided 50/50.
- Any gift given worth over $10,000 will go back to the original purchaser. This includes a custom-built motorcycle Brit gave K-Fed for Christmas 2 years ago.
- She will still support him for a little while longer. Brit will pay Kevin $30,000 a month for the period of time that is half the length of their marriage.
- Spears won’t pay child support. Federline is still responsible for supporting his other two children with previous baby momma Shar Jackson.

How sweet is that? None of those damn cars he mooched off her will he get to keep. Bitch will be tooling around in a tired-ass Buick when this shit is over. Oh God let it be true! I'd pay to see that shit!
Source: http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=1555

AND FINALLY!
Apparently, it would seem that FedEx found out his shit was getting divorced by text message! How effing hot is that! He was taping a show for MuchMusic where he was yapping about the shit he "owns" and how Britney is his "number one fan." Then he's eating dinner, and reads on his stupid Sidekick phone that he's getting shitcanned. His expression is totally "Oh God...where my money gonna come from now?" You KNOW that's what he's thinking.

Video:


Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkq0w6ua_Sg

What a fun day this has been. I'm a happy bitch. If all this about the divorce is true, that is.

Day Two of Glee: Part One

America woke up, and realized how effed up the Republicans have made things, so they showed that opinion in the polls yesterday. The Democrats have seized control of the House, thus paving the way for the FIRST FEMALE SPEAKER! Yes, that is right, ladies. Rep. Nancy Pelosi from California abandoned her own race and put all her energies into getting Democrats back into the House.

MORE big news election-wise, if you live in Missouri like me, Amendment 2 has passed, allowing for lifesaving studies to be done with stem cell research. .

In EVEN MORE big news, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfield has stepped down THANK GOD. Time for some new blood there!
(Source: http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/11/08/rumsfeld/index.html )

Phew! Enough politics for one day!

Don't Forget...

If you live in the United States, today is election day! Get out there and vote! This is your chance to make your voice heard! Even if your candidate doesn't win, then you have a chance to say "Hey, don't blame me. I voted for the other dude."

THANK YOU FOR PLAYING, KFED. NOW PLEASE EXIT TO HAS-BEEN LAND!

According to EVERYONE, Britney Spears has found her brain amid the cheetos, and has filed for divorce from that laughing stock that is Kevin Federline. The website TMZ.com has copies of the magical paperwork.

Spears filed legal papers today in Los Angeles County Superior Court, citing "irreconcilable differences." In her petition, Spears asks for both legal and physical custody of the couple's two children, one-year old Sean Preston and two-month old Jayden James, with Federline getting reasonable visitation rights.

As for money, sources tell TMZ the couple, who married in Sept. 2004, has an iron-clad prenup. Not surprisingly, Spears is waiving her right to spousal support. She's also asking the judge to make each party pay their own attorney's fees.

Spears gives the date of separation as yesterday, the same day she flaunted her incredible revamped physique during a surprise appearance on David Letterman's show. Sources tell TMZ there was no single reason for Britney pulling the plug, rather, it was "a string of events."

She dropped the weight, but grew a brain. Thank GOD. Now would someone please tell his dumb ass to stay the hell off the WWE? His helping out in the con that cost my darling John Cena his championship makes me quite angry, and I know I'm not the only one. Stupid wannabe rapper who cannot even tour since ticket sales are laughably bad.

So therefore, it is with great joy and glee that I tell Mr. Federline:

"GET THEE TO HAS-BEEN LAND AND BOTHER US NO MORE!"

Gavin Rossdale Has Dropped Down on the Hot Shit List

So apprently Gwen and Kingston have been too busy to stop daddy Gavin Rossdale from making himself almsot ugly. What the eff made him think it was a good idea to chop all that beautiful hair off????

Kanye West is Still an Asshole

Doesn't this picture crack you up? Couldn't you just picture Kanye as one of those "furry" type people? Seriously, I'll bet he whacks it in that costume.

Seriously, I couldn't hate Kanye West any more if he were the devil himself strangling a puppy. I hate this dude more than I hate Parisite Hilton. He's annoying, and his music sucks. It's one thing to have an ego when you have talent. But when you have this massive thing about yourself, and your music is crap, then it's just pathetic.

Alas, Kanye has proven yet again his asshole status. He showed up at the MTV Europe Music Awards and won something. But when he [rightfully] didn't win Best Video, he got all whiney. Bitch jumped up onstage when the true winner, DJ Justice of the musical group Justice vs. Simian went up to accept the award.

Once storming the stage, he declared: "Fuck this! My video cost a million dollars. Pamela Anderson was in it, I was jumping across canyons and shit! If I don't win, the awards show loses credibility. Nothing against you (Justice Vs Simian), but hell man."

Whoop-de-freaking-do. You dropped a million bucks to have some chick with fake tits and Hep C dance around in your video. It still sucked.

However, his tirade was not over. He decided to bitch some more at the backstage press conference: "I haven't seen (the Justice and Simian) video. Possibly it could have been quite good, but no way better than Touch The Sky. That is complete bullshit, I paid a million. Obviously it's not all about the money, but the response it got transcended everything, it really made great TV. It took a month to film; I stood on a mountain; I flew a helicopter over Vegas. I did it to be the king of all videos and I wanted to walk home with that award. (The reason the other video won) - That was some spread the love bullshit, 'Oh everyone should have an award.' Please press people print, 'Kanye says fuck that!'"

Meh. I will print "Kanye is world's biggest douche." Or how about "Kanye's video sucked." I haven't seen it, but I've heard the song, and it's nothing to shout about. Really, it's mediocre at best. He needs to shut the hell up, seriously. Him and Couch Jumpin' Cruise should get back together. Keep the massive egos together, I say. Keep that shit away from the general public.

Hypocrite Ass.

Okay, I'm going to start off this post by saying 98% of the Christians in the world are wonderful, caring, everyday sane people. The other 2% give them a bad name. This post is about one of those 2%.

Reverend Ted Haggard used to run some group called the National Association of Evangelicals. I don't know what they do, but Haggard isn't their leader anymore. He stepped down amid allegations that he was doing it with a male hooker regularly and sniffing coke with him. The hooker stepped forward and admitted to this after finding out that Haggard's group was against equal marriage rights for homosexuals. Of course, the good reverend is denying he did anything with any gay hooker.

Ted made this statement on Wednesday, “I’ve never had a gay relationship with anybody. I’m steady with my wife. I’m faithful to my wife.” Teddy is married with five kids.

He issued this statement yesterday, “I am voluntarily stepping aside from leadership so that the overseer process can be allowed to proceed with integrity. I hope to be able to discuss this matter in more detail at a later date. In the interim, I will seek both spiritual advice and guidance.”

Like the title says, Teddy's a big ol' hypocrite. I wouldn't be surprised if he did it every friggin' night with this dude. He can preach about hellfire and sin and all the crap during church, but he'll be damned if he lives how he preaches. If he wants some coke and butt sex, by golly he'll have that coke and butt sex!

Seriously. Douchebags like this make the rest of the Christian population look bad. They should get together and bitch slap him.

My Sympathy Has Vanished.

A few days ago I talked about how Nicole Richie checked herself into some place that was not rehab to take care of a condition that was not an eating disorder. Well, apparently she checked herself out after 72 hours. And she was not miraculously cured. She didn't want to stay because they wouldn't let her leave to shop. Bitch has her priorities straight.

According to MSNBC: "(the Chupacabra) checked herself into the Beau Monde, a swank $80,000-a-month treatment center in Newport Beach, Calif. The buzz is she’s seeking treatment for an eating disorder, but her reps insist that it’s merely to determine why she’s unable to put on weight. But after less than 72 hours in the center, Richie checked herself out, explaining that she wanted to go shopping … The staffers at Beau Monde begged her to stay .. 'Nicole is in complete denial and oblivious to how sick she really is.' "

Therefore, I will go back to making jokes about how everything she eats she throws back up. I think my karma will live.

Give Me a Break

So I still love Shanna Moakler. She will always hold a special place in my heart for the service she performed for humanity when she punched Parisite Hilton in the face. Someone should give her the fucking Nobel Peace Prize for that shit.

Anywho, apparently, Shanna is throwing herself a divorce party. Whatever floats her boat, I guess. Her ex-husband and ex-Parisite-fucker, Travis Barker apparently got his nasty herpes infested boxers all in a bunch over this, for he made this unfortunate post to his MySpace page:

SOMEBODY SENT A MESSAGE AND A FLYER WAS ATTATCHED (I POSTED IT BELOW). SHANNA IS HAVING A DIVORCE PARTY FOR HERSELF IN CELEBRATION OF OUR FAILED MARRIAGE APPARENTLY….. THIS IS THE SAME WIFE THAT EMAILED ME TO TELL ME SHE WOULD BE SLEEPING WITH HER NEW BOYFRIEND IN MY BED THE DAY OF OUR ANNIVERSARY 2 DAYS AGO SO THIS DOESN’T COME AS A SHOCK. AND THE SAME PERSON WHO IS MAKING “I LOVE SHANNA” SHIRTS FOR PEOPLE TO BUY, IN SUPPORT OF ALL THIS AND PLAYING THE VICTIM, IT SADDENS ME PEOPLE AND EVEN BRINGS ON THE URGE TO PUKE, HOPE IT DOES YOU AS WELL. IM GONNA SAY A LONG PRAYER FOR HER, SHE NEEDS IT. THERE ISN’T A PART OF SHANNA AND I AND THE FACT OUR MARRIAGE FAILED THAT I COULD BE CELEBRATING OR HAPPY ABOUT EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS TIME IT WAS OUR FAMILY…IT WAS ALL WE HAD……I MEAN A PARTY??? WHAT DOESN’T KILL ME MAKES ME STRONGER:) GOODNIGHT AND MAY THE FORCE BE WITH U….STAR WARS IS ON AND THIS IS NOW IN THE PAST. HOPE SHANNA’S PARTY IS EVERYTHING SHE COULD HOPE 4.

If I was getting a divorce from someone who is too lazy to use paragraphs, lowercase letters, and to spell out the word "for," I'd be throwing a fucking party too. Dumbass, get over it.

Abbie Cornish Denies Affair with Ryan Phillippe

Abbie Cornish, co-star to Ryan Phillippe, and his rumored mistress, has released a statement saying she isn't effing him.

According to SOW: Publicists for Australian actress Abbie Cornish are refuting reports that their client is the secret reason behind Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe’s shock split. Articles running in this week’s tabloids claim Witherspoon decided to end her marriage to the star, 32, after learning he had romanced Cornish on the set of their new movie "Stop Loss" in Texas. The reports go so far as to suggest that Witherspoon, 30, found out about her husband’s alleged romance with Cornish after reading a saucy note on his BlackBerry communication device. But Cornish, 24, insists the reports are all false. In a statement, released yesterday, her publicist writes, "It’s not true. They are co-stars and that is it."

And as was also pointed out on that site, similar statements were once released by Angelina Jolie and Denise Richards. So therefore, I call shenanigans.

KFed's Album Drops Like a Turd

KFed's debut album Playing With Fire dropped yesterday. I don't care. Did you? Nope, didn't think so.

But that didn't stop him from showing up at the West Hollywood Halloween Festival to stink things up with his single Privilege. However, he didn't even make it through the entire song, as he was booed offstage. According to an avid reader of DListed, nobody cheered at all until he took his stupid ass and his stupid cape offstage.

He will return to Britney to continue sponging and impregnating.

Happy Birthday Anthony Kiedis!!!!!

That's right, second in line behind Trent Reznor on my Hot Shit List, Anthony Kiedis, turns a smokin' hot 44 today! I'd wish him a very lovely happy birthday if I could, but I think he's still dating some model. (Heh...he usually is.) So all I can do is continue to drool, and enjoy the new Red Hot Chili Peppers album. It's good shit.

Here's a nice old-school Chili Peppers video: My Friends. At the end, the nice slow crawl Anthony does across the canoe is enough to make your heart stop. It's that damn sexy.

The Hilton Sisters are Still Stupid Whores

Recently I re-watched the episode of South Park wherein Parisite Hilton shows up in town to promote her clothing line "Stupid Spoiled Whore." She also ends up getting stuffed up Mr. Slave's ass. How I love South Park.

Anyways, Parisite and her sister Nicky, whom I used to mistakenly think was the smart one, showed up at the Halloween party at the Playboy Mansion over the weekend and made complete drunken morons of themselves.

Says Page Six: "Paris did her usual routine, dancing on a table and lip-syncing as her single, "Stars Are Blind," played. "The reaction is now always the same - her posse of sycophants surrounds her, cheering her, as most people groan," said our witness. "This is really getting old." Nicky provided her own show on the dance floor, "being bent over backwards against the stage by a height-challenged young man as she wrapped a leg around his hip and they played tonsil hockey. She later spent an hour crawling under the tables (apparently) looking for a lost purse. When upright, she was stumbling all over . . . as she was fondled everywhere but the bottoms of her feet by the little 'dance' partner . . . She is handling her breakup with Kevin Connelly in a very mature and sophisticated manner - not!"

Well, some things never change. The sky is always blue, and Parisite and Nicky Hilton are still stupid spoiled whores.

Happy Halloween Everyone!!!!

Bob Barker to Retire

After 50 years on television, Bob Barker will retire. He will tape his last episode of The Price is Right in June. No word yet on who will replace him, but whoever it is will suck compared to the great and wonderful Bob.

Says Barker: “I will be 83 years old on December 12 and I’ve decided to retire while I’m still young. I’ve gone on and on and on to this ancient age because I’ve enjoyed it. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it and I’m going to miss it.”

Aw. I remember watching this show in high school. I liked it, but it would mess me up because I worked at a grocery store and I never got that shit right. Our prices were always way lower than on the show. Oh well, good luck Bob! Enjoy retirement, you deserve it!