Cacee and Nick Go Clubbing

Cacee Cobb, best friend and assistant to Chestica Simpson was out clubbing, and apparently at the same club as Chesty's soon-to-be-ex-hubby Nick Lachey. She apprently left minutes after Nick. Sources say they have been hooking up. She sure looks guilty in that first picture, doesn't she?

I'd say "shame on her" for doing that to her supposed friend and employer, but Boobs McGee totally deserves this shit.

Courtney Love is Still Nasty

Courtney Love went shopping recently while in L.A., and felt the need to start stripping before enterting the store. Once inside, she stripped down to her bra, exposing her horrid boob job, I'm sure. Source in the title of my post takes you to a few craptastic pictures of the Queen of Crack showing everyone her clammy nasty skin.

I used that pic of her and Jimmy Kimmel at the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson because that shit was funny. Bitch was fucking stoned. And FAT. I thought coke made you skinny.

Courtney Cox and Fam Go and Visit David Blaine

As I talked about earlier, David Blaine is still floating in his water sphere. Courtney Cox, husband David Arquette, and the couple's daughter, 23-month-old Coco went to see Blaine in his water tank today. Blaine greeted them, and had a little doodle pad thingy that he wrote "she's beautiful" in regards to Coco.

If you click the title, there are some pics at my source of Courtney, David, and baby Coco waving at Blaine in his tank.

Lohan Wants to be Sexy

Lindsay Lohan is bitching about not being curvy or having big boobs. So why then, did she stop eating, take the fake tits out, and start snorting coke? Remember that movie Mean Girls? Bitch was HOT in that movie! She had tits AND curves!

"You want to be called sexy, and you want to have tits and an ass,"

"I like food. I eat all types of things. I'd never be able to do the no carbs and no sugar thing. I just ordered a peanut and jelly sandwich. I like McDonald's and I love sushi.
"I do good stir-frys, but the meal I cooked the other night was grilled chicken Parmesan, sauteed spinach and mashed potatoes."

Of course, when I read that, I ask myself what I ask myself when I see a photo of Nicole Richie eating: "I see her eating, but does it STAY down?"

More Pictures from Madonna's W Photo Session

Some are artsy, some are actually pretty cool. Like the ones with the white horse jumping right in front of her. Some are just painfully stupid. Like Erotica era throwbacks. But it's all pure Maddy.

This Shit is Genious!!

I fucking love this! I wish I'd thought of it first! Read this blog:

http://voxpopulix.blogspot.com/

David Blaine is All Pruney

I honestly don't know HOW David Blaine didn't know this was going to happen, and didn't have some sort of plan about it. Anyways, those pictures are sorta icky. He's gonna be one giant prune by the time this shit is over.

Britney Is Dead to Me.

After getting me all excited that she might have come to her senses, and was dumping the K Fed and getting herself back to the old sexy, I see THIS shit:

The star is planning on renewing her vows with husband Kevin Federline after he romantically purposed for the second time and pledged to stop letting her down.

Kevin reportedly got down on one knee and said: "Let's f***ing do it again!"

A friend of the couple revealed to Britain's Heat magazine: "Kevin has pledged his eternal love to Britney and swears he is going to stop acting like a jerk to her.

Britney is jumping for joy. This is all she's every wanted to hear." The pair are allegedly planning to hold the ceremony in Las Vegas. It will be the second time Britney has tied the knot in the Nevada state.

First, of COURSE he pledged to be nice. He realized his Cash Cow was getting pissed off and ready to cut off the money.

Second: "Let's fucking do it again?" Are you KIDDING me? THAT made her swoon??? What does he do to initiate sex?? "Hun, let's get nekkid and git r' dun!"

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Mary Kate Olsen Thinks Lindsay Lohan is "Creepy"

This shit is funny, but I can see her point. I guess they both went to the Met Costume Insititute Gala the other night, and MK wanted to duck and hide when Linds showed up on the red carpet.

"MK looked like she wanted to die when she saw Lindsay," said our spy. "She hung back and refused to get close ... She clearly did not want to be near Lindsay and made an effort to not get close. It was odd." Later, another source explained: "MK is very suspicious of Lindsay. Lindsay always e-mails her. She is always trying to find out from others who she is dating - MK thinks she's creepy." An Olsen rep said, "That is ridiculous. There were 15 other actors on the red carpet at the same time and it was hectic." Lohan's rep said, "As far as Lindsay is concerned, she has no problems with Mary-Kate."

Of COURSE she has no problems with Mary Kate! Sounds like Lohan is stalking her ass!

Well, Lindsay is pretty weird looking. So you never know. Stay away to be safe. If nothing else, after all the dudes she's been linked with, you never know if that vag has the herpes or not.

Katie-Kate in Public Again

Tom Cruise arrived at the premere for Mission: Impossible 3 last night with fiancee Katie-Kate Holmes in tow. She looked tired and drugged.

Bah ha I have a Dirty Mind!!

What does Christina Aguileria look like she's doing? If you said anything but "Oh, shooting the video for her new single!" You were wrong. If you think she looks like a cheap blow-up doll, you are right.

Starved Nachos is a Crybaby

So the other day, Paris Hilton and her boyfriend-of-the-moment, Starved Nachos broke up. I didn't report on it because really, I don't care about Paris Hilton that much. All she does is fuck people and pass around the Herpes. Anyways, I guess a few nights ago, Starved Nachos showed up at her gate crying like a pussy wanting her back. What the hell for?

The photographers who were camped outside her house tell TMZ that Stavros arrived around 1a.m. and spent an hour crying and ringing her door bell, begging to be let in. At one point, Stavros was spotted sprawled out on her driveway.

Around 2 am Paris finally let him in and the screaming continued. We are told they were so loud the fight could be heard outside the house. Stavros was heard hollering "Take me back!" and "I give you everything!!" Sources say during the fight Matt Leinart's name was brought up a few times.

We are also told Paris was overheard trying to calm down the rich Greek by saying "Take it easy" and "Go home and get some sleep."

During the night, a cab came and went three times, but each time left without the shipping heir. Finally, around 8 in the morning, Stavros got in a cab and headed out.

So I guess Wednesday they were seen hanging out. Who knows. Matt Leinart is some dude Paris was hanging out with the other night.

Star Jones HIV Scare

Star Jones still won't admit that she lost all that weight by having weight-loss surgery. Dumb cow. Too bad she's even uglier now than before she had her stomach removed.

Anwho, the place where she had the surgery has announced that they had an HIV scare there, as one of their nurses failed to properly sterilize instraments used in stomach-stapling proceedures. While the risk for patients to have contracted HIV is very low, they are taking blood samples anyway.

As much as I hate Star Jones, I wouldn't wish HIV on anybody. Hopefully she's all right.

Save Lewis!

About a month ago, we heard about this kitty named Lewis who is owned by a lady named Ruth Cisero. Well, Lewis' neighbors claim he's mean and he eats small children for dinner with his Meow Mix. So Ruth has gotten in trouble many times for her kitty. She was offered probation, but she turned it down, because one of the stipulations would be that she'd have to put Lewis to sleep! She didn't want to have to kill her cat, so she's going to court!

Lewis has a MySpace: http://myspace.com/lewisthecrazycat

Buy your Save Lewis shirt today: http://www.cafepress.com/crazycatlewis

TomKat Signs Prenup

Good Lord Katie/Kate Holmes is coming out of this shit smelling like rich fucking roses. She and Tom Cruise have signed a prenup, and basically, no matter whether she marries the fruitcake or not, there's a $15 million trust set up for her and Suri. If they marry and divorce, Katie/Kate gets $25 million.

He's batshit crazy and all, but I'd marry the fucker too for that kinda dough.

K Fed Gets a Sitter

Britney Spears has hired someone to follow her stupid husband K Fed around to make sure's behaving himself like a good little boy. This came to be after Brit's most trusted bodyguard quit over K Fed's stupidity. She promised the guard she'd take care of the Kevin situation if he stayed on to be her guard.

So it's almost 5 PM here in Missouri, and I've not heard if Britney's had her press conference yet. C'mon! I wanna hear her publically dump that trailer trash on on his ugly ass!!

Brangelina Set Shit Straight

There's all sorts of jacked up rumors surrounding the Jolie/Pitt Fam that they released a statement setting things right, and all that jazz:

• Jolie has not signed on for Tomb Raider 3 and has no plans to play video-game heroine Lara Croft any time soon.
• Pitt is not trying to convince Jolie to join the cast of Ocean's 13. (Sorry, George.)
• Jolie is not looking to adopt a Namibian infant – at least not right now.
• The actress is not planning a "water birth" for the couple's baby-to-be, or to name the baby Africa.
• Jolie's ill mom, Marcheline Bertrand, is not near death and did not ask Jolie to give birth in France as a "dying wish."
• Pitt did not purchase for Jolie a "fidelity necklace" as a pre-baby wedding gift. In fact they currently have no plans to marry.
• Finally, Jolie is not planning to buy a small African nation of her own.

Aw, shucks. I was entertained by the "water birth" idea. Funny how shit gets around.

Rolling Stone Mag Releases 1,000th Issue

It looks pretty cool and cost almost $1 million to make, and it's in 3-D. Kick ass.

Anthony Kiedis and His Girlfriend Goof Around

Here is Anthony Kiedis and his boring looking girlfriend in Italy screwing around for the cameras. He's still hot. She's plain.

Angelina Jolie Still Insisting She and Brad Never Screwed While He Was Still with the Ice Queen

Yeah, you can tell whose side I'm on. Mostly because I'm sick and fucking tired of every article that Jennifer Aniston gets her mits on, is chock full of her whining and bitching and moaning about how terrible it is for her, and how strong she is, and she's so over her marriage, and all that shit. I even read a fucking article where some friend of hers was griping about how mean Brad is for having a baby with Angelina and daring to put it in the press. Since they're hiding in fucking AFRICA and all.

But anyways, Angie denies yet again that she and Brad did the nasty while he was still with the Whiner.

"I wouldn't be attracted to a man who would cheat on his wife.
"But I've grown too much to be hurt by what people's opinions of my love live is. That doesn't hurt me. I don't read the gossip - although it is never nice when the world feels entitled to an opinion about your family."

See I'm telling you, she waited to enslave him til AFTER he dumped Mousey Woman.

Kim Mathers is a Bitch Again

Bitch just wants the money. Figures. After Eminem FINALLY gets custody of his daughter, Hailie, then suddenly Kim is back in his life, and they're married and divorced. I'm tellin' ya. She knew it wouldn't last, and now she's filing for custody of Hailie, child support, and for Em to pay her bills. Yeah, I didn't see this coming AT ALL.

She asks for Eminem, whose real name is Marshall Bruce Mathers III, to pay the mortgage, insurance and utilities for the couple's Clinton Township home. She also seeks physical custody of their daughter, Hailie Jade Scott, and child support.

Good luck, dumbass. I'll bet he's got kick ass lawyers ready to rock on this shit.

Lindsay Lohan Dissed by Nick Lachey

Nick Lachey apparently found it amusing that Lindsay Lohan had a romantic interest in him. Hmm...dipshit, big-breasted woman with a foundness for the nosecandy...yeah, he's divorcing a blonde version of that. So OF COURSE he's not looking for another one.

Nick Lachey has lashed out at teen star Lindsay Lohan for expressing a romantic interest in him, insisting he isn’t remotely attracted to her. “I can safely say that I don’t have any interest in Lindsay Lohan … nor do I understand anyone else that does.”

Bah! That's great. "...nor do I understand anyone else that does." That just warrants repeating. It's so awesome. Ah, my love for Nick Lachey grows each and every day.

David Blaine is Falling Apart

David Blaine's only been in the bubble for one day, but his hands are sore, and the skin is peeling off. He's hanging in there though.

"I wasn't prepared for the hands - that's a little bit of a scary sign because all the skin is starting to come off," he said. "My body's responding, but it's also coping. It could be a lot worse."

The Aquaman wanna-be was alternating between a diving helmet, which allowed him to conduct media interviews, and a simple mouthpiece attached to a breathing tube.

He also passed the time practicing holding his breath for his ABC television special Monday.

In a stunt reminiscent of Houdini, Blaine will be thrown into the water in chains, minus breathing gear - and plans to hold his breath for nine minutes.

The crowd was almost entirely supportive, with teen girls holding signs proposing marriage, grown women mouthing "you're hot" and one man kissing the glass.

Nice. So at least he's in good spirits. By Monday, he's gonna be shriveled down to nothing at this rate.

This isn't 1993

Found another picture from Madonna's photo shoot for W magazine. She's trying to be all "edgy" and sexy and shit like she was when she released Erotica and that stupid book. She's admitted before, many times, that she regrets that era, that she was too trashy. So of course, she's going RIGHT back for it. Blah.

Oh, and if THIS is what they meant by "topless," then THANK GOD. I still don't wanna see the saggy tits.

Who Are They Kidding???

These bitches are at the first annual "Sober Day USA" launch party with the Brent Shapiro Foundation for Drug Awareness. I say again, who are these bitches kidding? Courtney Love is fucking high in these pictures. She's totally giving Paris tips about how to pass piss tests and get out of lawsuits from fans after she punches them in the face.

All we need is Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan and the joke is fucking complete.

Ew

In the latest issue of W magazine, Madonna graces the cover, and supposedly, there are topless pictures of her in it.

Now I'm a huge fan of Madge and all, but EW! I can be a fan and not want to see her saggy old tits. She looks hot on the cover, but that weird one of her in the leotard, notsomuch. I'm still saying the leotard was one of her worst fashion choices and I have no clue why she still insists on it.

Keith Richards Has to Have Surgery

While vacationing in Fiji, Keith Richards climbed a palm tree and fell out, hitting his head. Originally they thought he just had a concussion. But come to find out, he had a hemorage, and they are going to drill a hole in his skull to drain the blood out. I wonder what color his brain is, after all those years of drug use.

“After the tests doctors decided they should drain his skull. It has given him a scare but he has been told that he should make a full recovery once it’s done.”

Well, hopefully everything goes well. The man is a freaking legend.

Britney to Hold Press Conference

Brit Brit is to hold a press conference, but nobody knows what her announcement's going to be.

OH GOD PLEASE let it be she's thrown out the white trash. I can get over it if she's knocked up again, but PLEASE let her be getting her common sense back!

See the picture, Britney? That can be YOU again!!!!

Hee!

"I'm still here, and I'm still bringing the crazy!!! BAAAHH!!!!"

Oh God Give Me a Break

Anna Nicole Smith just won the right to fight for the cash of her dead husband. But supposedly, she's got another legal battle brewing. She's pregnant, and the baby's dad wants to be in the kid's life.

"Anna's freaking out because she got pregnant by this guy, who's now saying, 'I want money and access to the kid,'" an insider tells our Gatecrashing colleague, Ben Widdicombe.

Lovely.

Britney's Agents Getting Annoyed

She goes to Maui to record an album. Scraps that, wants to be an actress, does that Will & Grace episode. Scraps that, now she's knocked up again. Britney Spears' rep agency, William Morris Agency, is freaking annoyed at how their star is acting.

Spears' agents have become increasingly frustrated about how to handle America's favorite popstar. "She doesn't need the money. So there's not the usual desperate drive on her part," the source said. "She's constantly changing her mind. One minute she wants to be an actress, the next minute she wants to fly to Maui to record a new album."

A W.M. employee told TMZ: "It seems like she's not sure she knows what she wants to do, which makes being her agent frustrating."

People in the agency are saying that Spears' pregnancy has derailed a lot of plans. Sources say now that Spears is pregnant she's not pursuing her acting career with the same fervor, even scuttling her bid to land the role of a lifetime -- playing Janis Joplin. One source said: "She really wanted to do it but she knows she can't."

Okay first of all, THANK GOD she's not going to portray the legendary Janis. That would be sacriliege. The rumor is that Kate Hudson is being looked at, but whatever.

I think I smell something, Brit. It's your career crashing and buring. And K Fed's holding the damn match.

HOLY CRAP!!!!

RUN!!! IT'S THE BOOGIE MONSTER!!!! SAVE YOURSELVES!!! Oh, wait, that's just Star Jones at the Daytime Emmys. Wow she is butt-ugly.

Paris is a Good Role Model

Paris Hilton is such a good example for your kids. See?

"Smoking is so sexy.
"It's like so cool how you all smoke everywhere in the UK."

What a fucking moron. I won't lie, I smoke, but I know that shit ain't sexy. There is NOTHING sexy about having bad breath, and stinky clothes. As soon as I figure out how to quit without killing my husband in the process, I'm all over that shit.

Anna Nicole is a Winner

That picture that Michael K over at D Listed used was so hot, I had to use it too. She's so loaded in that picture.

Anyways, she won her court case so she gets the craploads of money that her late husband, the super old guy, left her. Dunno if that's a good thing or not.
But woo hoo for Anna Nicole.

Another Attempt to Save Madonna's Marriage

Madonna did Coachella this past weekend. She did a 30 minute set, including Hung Up and a few other abbriviated numbers. The crowd seemed to enjoy it, but I'd rather catch the whole show. (Chicago, anyone??)

Anywho, apparently, husband Guy Richie is going to tour with her to film a documentary. This is supposed to save their marriage. Hey, anybody remember that shit Swept Away? It pretty much killed him. Which is too bad. Snatch was good shit. He's a good director.

Mission: Blow Up the Newspaper Stand!!!

This shit is brilliant. And probably Tom Cruise had something to do with it, it's got his slimey fingerprints all over it.

To promote his new movie, (hey, in case you forgot, he's in a new movie! It's called Mission: Impossible 3! And he kisses a girl in it. But in a slightly less annoying film his woman robot, Katie/Kate Holmes was in, he had all that shit edited out.) they had some box in a newspaper machine so that when you opened it to get your paper, that stupid theme played. The box had fallen down off the box onto the papers, and some folks thought maybe it was a bomb. So they called the bomb squad, who blew it up.

You can't make this shit up. Seriously!

Britney Seen Shopping for Girlie Baby Clothes

Britney Spears was seen shopping for some girlie baby items and was overheard saying she was pregnant again, and hoping for a girl. She had shopped there when pregnant with Sean Preston, and the same people reported that she wasn't as "bubbly" or excited as she was before.

Uh duh, now she realizes her nasty husband is a womanizing, golddigging fuck. I saw his ass on the cover of Spin magazine this weekend. Just a tiny picture on the corner with the caption "I didn't pimp Britney." Who cares. Spin sucks for sticking his face on the SAME cover as the Red Hot Chili Peppers. C'mon now!

Pete Doherty Released After Arrest for "Injection" Photos

While Pete Doherty has blased The Sun, saying the photos of him injecting an unconcious female fan were fake and staged, he was arrested, but his family wishes he'd be jailed for a lot longer.

Doherty's mother Jacqui broke down in tears after seeing the shot, and the singer's father and sister have cut him out of their lives completely.
The 27-year-old's uncle Philip Michels says, "Why the courts haven't thrown him in jail yet is beyond me.
"I hope they are as disgusted by these pictures as me and next time he is thrown in jail for at least a year. It's for his own good if he's ever going to get off heroin.
"To damage your own health is one thing but to put a needle into someone else, a girl already out of it on drugs, is disgusting. Jacqui was sobbing her heart out.
"His sister Amy Jo doesn't want anything to do with him. His dad Peter is furious."

Supposedly, an unnamed friend of Pete's mailed the shots to The Sun.

Immigrants Stage Walk Out and Boycott Today

Demonstrators are taking to the streets today in the major cities to protest the treatment of illegal immigrants, and the fact that the conservative dipshits bascially want to close down the border, thus making America about a bunch of money-hungry republicans, not the Land of the Free, Home of the Brave, and certainly, don't bring us your poor and whatnot. Fuck off, we're America, we have Iraq to bomb, thanks.

Yeah you can tell I'm a tad liberal. I just don't think the founding fathers would appriciate this.